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AthenaMarisaDeterminedbyFateThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 8:35 pm

Three rules:
 
1. It's gotta be deep, creative poetry
2. You can submit two entries per person
3. You can submit entries until I get between 10 and 20 of them, depending on how it goes
 
Have fun, and please enter!

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:15 pm

I know this belongs on the Writing forum, but it's biblical-based, and you guys are awesome :)
This is a poem I'm thinking of submitting to a contest, but I want your guys' opinion on it and more importantly, your criticism!

A Cage in the Sky
I once lived inside a cage, and people told me I could fly. So I tried that--flying--and guess what? It was a lie.
For the bars were not made of mere, thin metal, and the key lie yards away, in the hand of the de.vil.

He told me I would surely die, if he let me out, that flying took more courage than my self-doubt.
Well, in my cage I was suspended very high, and a single tear formed and fell from the sky.
I had looked up and realized how close I was, to touching it, flying, like an angel does.
Worse than being impossible, it was so near, and the only thing stopping me was my fear.
Yet knowing this, I still couldn’t get free, the de.vil held me hostage and hid the key.
Until the tear that had fell kissed the barren ground, his cage, He.ll on Earth, where the de.vil drowned.
Yet what did that matter, when the key was down there? My cage grew tighter and my lips formed a prayer.
The answer came quietly, as I least expected, Because I knew him as one I had always rejected.
“You can’t save me,” I told him, “I’ve lost the key.” “There was never such a thing,” he said to me.
I watched as he walked on the air without wings, and talked with the authority of a thousand kings.
“I hated you,” I said. “So you’ve forsaken me here.” “No I love you,” he said. “What I hate is your tears.
“Did you think that one drop could have filled the earth? Or that a girl in a cage knows what she’s worth?
“The first time you called me was then, and I came, Then I killed your jailer and I took the blame.”
I didn’t know what he meant until I started to see, the bars that held him and that I was free.
I watched as he became trapped in the infernal prison, yet I blinked and the cage was mangled, he had risen.
“How does the cage contain the key for long?” he said. I saw his hands where the lock had burned, they bled.
I became aware of the fact that I had no wings, He said, “What do you need of such silly things?
“That was the first lie, the floor of your cage, but this you knew, and bars formed from rage.
“Yet the greatest lie of all—” and I began to understand — “Was believing in a prison you built firsthand.”
Thanks!! :)

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:15 pm

Sorry, I copied and pasted, so ignore the first part!!!!! I appreciate you doing this :) :)

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:17 pm

And for the crappy formatting.......sorry.........okay I'll stop posting now

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Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:56 pm

Beautiful poem! Thanks for entering!

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Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:57 pm

By the way, the prizes are going to be a surprise!!! Namely because I forgot to paste them down on my first thread.

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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:11 pm

I'll submit How Much I do Love Thee and Get Back Up Again.

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Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:39 pm

Those are great!

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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:51 pm

Thank you :3

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laurengerhard replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:38 pm

It's not long at all, but why not... I'll submit "Cinderella's first-aid kit".

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Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:31 pm

Cool! Thanks for entering :)

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Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:29 am

Any more entries? Please?

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Artgirl1999 replied...
Apr. 16, 2013 at 6:05 pm

Here's my entry:

What He Thought


Sitting alone in my bedroom
I know you're at home, too
Probably doing homework
Or staring into space

Like me
I can only wonder
What you're thinking
Beneath your long brown bangs
I miss those bangs

I miss you

Maybe you're thinking about school

Or if your friend will call

Or what you would say to me
If we were talking

But we're not

Not after what I said

I regret it now
I wish I knew

What you are thinking
But I don't
But with all of my tormented mind
With all my gloomy soul
And with all of my broken heart
I hope you know

I love you

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Artgirl1999 replied...
Apr. 16, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Sorry for the formatting, our computer has a virus so I'm using my iPad

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Apr. 16, 2013 at 7:48 pm

Cool! Thanks for entering!

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Chichot123 replied...
May 9, 2013 at 1:02 pm

I submit 'Before the Important Game" and "Photograph". :) 

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May 9, 2013 at 7:22 pm

Sweet!    

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 9, 2013 at 7:51 pm

Athena (do you mind if I call you that?), I have two poems that I would like to submit. The first is one TeenInk. It's called Just A Dream. I have not submitted the other one, however, so I am just going to post it on this thread.
 
Elementary
 
 
You were the one I loved.
He was the one who took you away.
I swore upon the stars,
The moon,
The sun,
The love I felt for you,
That I would have you back.
Across the seven seas I followed,
A trail of murder,
Manipulation,
And death.
Here,
On the shores of America,
I found her broken body.
Here in New York,
Our battle was fought.
M and S,
but I was wrong.
Finally,
I found you my friend.
I have found your men,
I have solved your case.
Now,
I have won.
Moriarty,
I told you that you would rue both,
The day you killed Irine,
And the day you crossed arms with me.
Sherlock Holmes.
 
This is actually based off of my favorite TV show, Elementary, which is obviously a spin off Sherlock Holmes. Something about that sentance seemed sort of werid. Huh.

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Chichot123 replied...
May 10, 2013 at 12:25 pm

When will you anounce the winner? 

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Edison99 replied...
May 11, 2013 at 1:44 pm

Slowly traversing across a blue highway Slipping away from the city of greed The highway, a sweet escape from claustrophobia The relieving isolation in the car Just the radio, the car, and I Cradled in the car So be it Where will the highway take us?

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