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Packer...Opinion About This?

Doctorbug posted this thread...
Jul. 16, 2014 at 10:48 pm

Hey....I was wondering what you thought about these verses in Acts 15:1-31 (me not going to post them, pick up yo Bible! Muahahaha)!!! Seeing as you and I keep the Torah, I thought I'd ask for your opinion--IF you have time and stuff :D

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Mr.packerbear12 replied...
Jul. 16, 2014 at 11:08 pm

Hey Drbug:) I'll reply sometime else. My parents just had a huge argument, well they have arguments 24/7 but not like this, and I had a breakdown..so I'm not really in the mood right now sorry:/

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Doctorbug replied...
Jul. 17, 2014 at 7:32 pm

Hey PB:) How are you right now? I'm worried about you. My parents had a huge argument last year that really scared me, but they're fine now...they're normal anyways...they've never talked to any of us kids though, so I can't be 100% sure.

I bet that didn't help...I'm praying for you and your family.

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Mr.packerbear12 replied...
Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:49 pm

Thanks for the prayers:) Don't worry too much I've been talking to my best friend and she's really helping me through it, she goes through the same thing. They've had a bigger argument than the one they had last night last year when my grandparents came up to visit..like really bad..I didn't break down but I got really angry. A lot of what I was holding in was from that. Have you ever considered talking to your parents about it? I'm kinda scared to, but at the same time I think they need to know how much it hurts their kids. Everyone thinks they're this PERFECT couple..ugh far from it.
I read the passage, what particularly are you wanting to discuss from it? I mean I can kinda see what you want to get at but not 100% sure..

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Mr.packerbear12 replied...
Jul. 21, 2014 at 11:40 pm

You dissapear again?:p

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Doctorbug replied...
Jul. 22, 2014 at 6:20 pm

No...I was typing up a reply to this thread and then my internet stopped working. I almost smashed my laptop against the wall, no kidding!
I was emotional and going to rant a rave about how much of a basket case my family was, and then by brother started being mean to my little sister so that set me off, and then my post wouldn't post so I went for a bikeride to be by myself LOLOLOLZ
I've actually spent the last few days working myself to the bone and rethinking my family situation. My dad is in self-denial, my mom has lost hope, my sister blames herself, my brother doesn't understand, my other brother is hiding, my other sister is confused and I'm constantly running away. I figure, even if I can't solve other people's problems, I can at least solve my own (take the plank out of your own eye before you try and take the speck out of your brother's)--so applies to me. I always have to remind myself: I'm not alone, so stop acting like it.
I've finally come to grip with the fact that I'm not a loner, I'm not independent (well, I am, but I shouldn't be), so my family is like at the top of my priorities list, if you know what I mean.
You know how parents have those "Conversations"...well, I was just recently in one of those "conversations" for the first time. It was a little bit disturbing, but at the same time it felt like my voice was actually being heard. I was the one talking 90% of the time, haha.
Anyways, so I'm hoping my family can heal some from my end. There's nothing I can do about their relationships with each other, but I can at least stop running away and trust God to guide me in my relationships with them. It's not easy...but then, when has the straight and narrow ever been?
I'm happy PB in knowing this. There's nothing you can do about your parent's relationship with each other (and for goodness sakes, whatever you think, it's not your fault!), but you can still have great relationships with both of them.

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Mr.packerbear12 replied...
Jul. 25, 2014 at 8:11 pm

haha, I hate when that happens. Especially in the school year since I'm in online school ugh.
Biking is a good escape:) I got really into last year, not so much this year now that we live off of a gravel road.
What is your dad in self denial about? Also yes that verse is really hard for me to live out. Like I'm so quick to judge others then I'm like, "no Kevin, look at your life first" I know I'm not the only one who has parents that don't act like they should in front of their kids, in fact majority of people do. I just know I'm not going to be the dad my Dad is to me, and not the husband my Dad is to my Mom. I'll take the good things that my Dad does and apply it to my family and I, but I don't want to carry any of the other baggage along.
And those conversations...I find it funny cause I've never had one but all these other kids I know do have em..
You're right, the straight and narrow is the hard way, but only a few find it. I really wish I could muster up the courage to just talk to Dad about how their arguments make my siblings and I feel, but I know it'll just wind up as a 3 hour argument that gets nowhere.
I know none of it is my fault but it just is ugh. I can't have a good relationship with my Dad. I've tried, you don't know how long I've seriously tried. I just can't. My Mom and I however have an amazing relationship.

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Doctorbug replied...
Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:59 pm

Blech...I've had two blue screens of death already today...lets see if my laptop can last till the end of this post lol.
Ah Packerbear...I so often feel like I have such a backwards family and everyone else's is perfect. I know this may sound really weird, but learning that you're pretty much in the same situation as me (having a backwards family and such), it really encourages me. Since I wrote my last post we've had so many more arguments, more than normal. One of my bigger problems is kicking myself and blaming myself for not doing something more to try and fix my family. My dad doesn't like to hear about the things he's doing wrong. He tries, but when things get to hard, he gives up, and so that he doesn't feel bad about it, he sticks his head in the sand and makes up all kinds of rediculous arguments to justify doing what he shouldn't be doing (giving up).
I don't know...I feel like such a traitor lately, thinking negitive thoughts about my family. I used to agree with almost everything my parents said, and even when I thought they were in the wrong, I would still defend them with all I had to strangers and friends. Now I just don't have it in my to conjure up a rediculous argument to justify their parenting.
I do love both of them very much, and I find it really hard to talk to people about my family. On the one hand I do really just need to talk about it, but on the other I don't know how without sounding like I don't love them. Respecting them has been getting very hard lately (as in like the past few years).
I guess I've come to realize they're broken human beings like the rest of us...and that's just really kinda left me hanging. I don't have bad relationships with either of them, but I don't have really deep relationships with them either. I'd call it a "good" relationship.
I see so many things my dad and mom do wrong in their parenting and I say to myself, "I'm not going to be like that". And then I turn around and notice in myself behaviors my dad and mom have that drive me nuts. It's funny, because the flaws my mom and dad have, they hardly realize they have them. I just wonder: what flaws do I have that I have no idea I have that will harm my kids?
Right now I've got this little voice in my head saying to me, "Trust in Me." LOLZ Talk about a reminder...grr I still haven't read my Bible today :P
Alright...so I'll stop complaining about all my problems. I just wish it were easier for me to talk to my parents about what they are doing right, rather than getting so mad at them all the time for doing something wrong. I should follow Yeshua's example more often. But you know, PB, when you're like in the moment and you just forget to do the right thing and you fall into your familliar bad habits of screaming at people instead of cooling down and talking in a civilized manner (remember SDD and me? Perfect example).
I was talking to this one older guy that I wait on at my job about my family and he commented how "strong" I was in dealing with it all and how he was a little sick of how the world puts children down as "so fragile and weak". I can't figure out if I agree with him or not. I'm in no way strong in dealing with this. Sometimes I wish my family were so much more loving. I'm an emotional basketcase because my parents never really acknowledged my emotions. I know how to deal with arguments and logic and facts and all that anylitical stuff, but I just don't know what to do with my emotions. I don't know how to master them and I know it. Yet for all the faults I see in my parents, I can't blame them and I really can't figure that out about myself. I talk to my manager about it (she was noticing how little sleep I was getting and asked lolz) and during our conversations she's saying what a bad homelife I have and how I should get out and stuff. I can see she blames my parents. Everyone I talk to, I can see they blame the next person and it drives me nuts. Why can we take the plank out of our own eye (to use the verse again HAHA XP)? Or maybe I'm just setting a standard for myself that's way higher than my standards for other people. My mom's pretty cool. She's just kinda lost all faith and hope in any kind of redemption of our family. I'm a tad bit angry at her for it, but maybe after twenty years I'll have lost hope too.
And that quiet voice says, "Not if you put your hope first in Me."
I'm clearly brainstorming with you, PB. Well, you're not hear at the moment, but I'm still writing up something you will read. I could erase everything now, having now recieved the benifit of pouring out all my troubles, but that wouldn't be very fair, because then you would get a rewritten post from me with the results but not the journey that brought me here, hahahaha. And it probably wouldn't make that much sense.
Short story: after writing all that, I'm so much more encouraged and hopeful. I can now admit to others my families faults (and my own), without judgement and condemnation, yet disagree with them (as they are faults haha). I wonder if this is what growing up feels like O.O? Not to be pretencious or anything. My parents aren't my "heros" anymore. Is that a good thing? I'm not so sure...
I still feel like a traitor.

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Mr.packerbear12 replied...
Jul. 26, 2014 at 12:24 am

I read the whole post so too late to erase;) I will reply tomorrow, just late and I have to get up at the crack of dawn to go with Mom to pick up my niece.

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Doctorbug replied...
Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:47 am

Too late to erase? Hmph... :P
Waiting patiently.
[tap tap of fingers]

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Mr.packerbear12 replied...
Jul. 26, 2014 at 1:13 pm

blue screens of death? I used to get green screens of death:p
"My dad doesn't like to hear about things he's doing wrong"
yep that's my Dad alright, tell him one thing he does wrong and everything lights up like dynamite.
I know what you mean about feeling like a traitor, I feel horrible anytime I say something even slightly negative about my family. But I can't hold it in, I have to tell someone. My parents don't know I have this account(which is why I don't mind sharing personal stuff on here). Like if they figured out I had this, 1.) I'd be grounded..since I'm not supposed to be on a forum. 2.) They'd know things about me only some know..so let's just say they'll never know lol. I agree with most of what my parents say except for the occaiosnal thing like last week we had an argument about interracial marriage. Dad and Mom being against it, me saying it doesn't matter. Sad thing is we where both using Scripture to back it up but neither one of us could get our point across. And of course other things I disagree with. I don't ever justify my their parenting, I just nod and say that's how it is.
I love my parents to death, just yeah like you said you have to get it out. I respect my parents to a point. I respect them as in doing what they tell me to, but I don't respect them when they tell me something that is completely wrong, then I will stand up and say what I need to say.
I see what you mean about relationships with parents better now. I guess I have a good relationship with my dad and a deep relationship with my mom.
I've caught myself being like my Dad before too..then I correct it, but it's like I need to work on it more. Thing is my personality is spot on with my Dad, the way I walk, make gestures, really anything is just like my dad, but the way I talk is much different, or most the time it is, like I said I need to work on that. I hope I don't carry bad flaws that I don't notice..maybe we should ask our friends to be honest and tell us what to work on? Might help..
I need to read my Bible more..I read it maybe once or twice a week during the summer..bad habit.
I think we've all had that problem, called speaking before thinking. And we've all had our turn with SDD..and with theking(if you where here when he was still here, he left shortly after I joined), when we're pushed to the edge it's hard to respond lovingly and definatly something we need to work on.
Everyone thinks I'm really strong(the ones that know how my family is when they're not in front of other people that is), in reality I'm weak barely holding it in. So I know what you mean there. The way I find easiest to cope with my emotions is just praying, and letting yourself cry it out. Don't hold it in, will only make you bitter. Just make sure your family(as in your husband and kids) don't wind up as your family(now) has. You will find much more joy that way.
I like the quote that says "God doesn't give you what you can handle but helps you handle what you're given"
My parent's aren't my heros, if anything finding this forum was my hero(earthly..Yeshua is our hero:)). This forum the year and a half is really what has kept me going, and meeting my best friend last fall.
Don't feel like a traitor.

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Doctorbug replied...
Jul. 30, 2014 at 5:13 pm

I'm so sorry about the late reply :'( I did read all of your post and you are right and so encouraging, PB :D. My family had been fighting even more than normal in the past few days and I had so much extra word at my job. I even pulled a double shift the other night lol! That actually turned out to be more fun once it was over and I could talk with my co-workers haha. My family seems pretty calm and a little more loving right now so...maybe it's one of those lulls, maybe it'll last...I donno. But yes, everything you say is right, and sometimes it's just better to cry it out (like I did the other nigh haha). I had a good day at work today and my family is fairly happy and everyone that I care about is pretty happy so I'm happy now.
How has everything been going with you in the past few days? Things panned out at all?

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Mr.packerbear12 replied...
Aug. 1, 2014 at 12:53 am

Glad to hear everything is going better with you:)
Things have been better lately here but mainly because we've been having  lots of guests, so they have the perfect couple look..

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Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 13, 2017 at 10:22 am

*Posts somethings randomly in hope that someone from the old gold days returns*

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Quantum1.0 replied...
Jun. 10, 2017 at 1:22 am

What's up Ray-yo? Do I count as "old gold days"? I know its a month late but I still randomly come here every few months just to see.

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Mr.packerbear12 replied...
Aug. 23, 2017 at 2:41 pm

Man have I changed...I don't even recognize myself..why did I even look..0.0

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Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 12, 2017 at 1:08 pm

Hey Quantum and Mr. Packerbear! I've been good- almost finished with second year in college. How have you been? 
I'm interested to hear how you've changed, Packerbear. 

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