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S.e. X. before marriage

WillAnJaceRMine posted this thread...
Jul. 6 at 1:50 am

it is my personal belief that s.E.x should occur after marriage. I dont know how to word this without sounding like a christian or something but i believe that couples should stay pure until  marriage because it may make the relationship stronger and show that the relationship wasnt for one's body. I dont want to push it on anyone, but with all of the teen preg.nan.cy and S T. Ds spreading around... it's all got me worried. thoughts?

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Caesar123This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 6 at 9:40 pm

I myself am kind of torn on this issue. While I think that it is best to wait to have s.ex until marriage, I don’t know how feasible that is in today’s society. The media, music industry, and others push s.ex, and lots of it all the time, as the way to be cool and to be a man (or woman depending). Honestly, sometimes it feels like there’s no more sacredness in the act, and that intimacy and true love are thrown out the window for the sake of wild crazy nights at clubs and promiscuous one night stands. My belief is that as long as two people love each other, and truly love each other, marriage shouldn’t stand in the way of them having s.ex. The problem arises when people don’t think through the actual action, or the consequences, and perpetually live in the moment.

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Jul. 7 at 3:34 pm

I respect people's decision to abstain until after marriage. It makes total practical sense. But I also think that marriage is not always necesary to form a lasting, meaningful relationship. Just because you don't say the words does not mean that you don't make the promise. I think that if both individuals are honest with each other about their feelings se.x before marriage is perfectly fine.

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Mr.packerbear12This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 10 at 1:16 am

Willanjacermine: So you're saying that if you where in a relationship with someone and you said you wanted to wait until marriage to have s.e.x and he agreed, but then later found he wasn't a vi.r.g.in you wouldn't appreciate that? As in would your love for him be any less? What if he had an S.T.D and you didn't know it? I know I sound like I'm defending pre-marital s.e.x, but I'm really not. I personally am waiting until I'm married(or at least I think I am..) but if my wife turns out not to be a v.ir.g.in and I get a S.T.D from her(which is still pretty unlikely) I'm not going to love her any less, and I will bear the dis.eas.e with her.

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WillAnJaceRMine replied...
Jul. 10 at 2:21 am

Mr.packerbear12:
no, just like you, I personally just want to stay a vir.Gi.n til marriage. i wouldnt care if the guy i was dating wasnt a vi.rgIn, but i wouldnt want the unlikely S.T.D.
i myself am kind of in that teenage rebel stage and instead of rebelling against parents (mine have nothing to say on the matter), im rebelling against the new typical teenage girl.
2 of my best friends go to a different school where it's normal to have pre-marital se.x after a friggin WEEK of dating. And three-somes and 4-somes? everyone's into those apparently.
so im not saying everyone should be a vi.rGin. But Se.X is no longer this special moment with candles and true love or whatever. it's become this thing that you do in a bathroom stall and feels good.
anyway, Ceasar123 pretty much said what i meant. Se.x shouldnt be thrown around, but should be shared with the right person. i just wasnt saying that right. My fault.

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 10 at 4:54 am

I find this argument very taxing to have, so I'm going to state my position briefly.
 
I'm not bothered at all by whatever anyone wants to do here.
 
Personally, I don't see a point in waiting until marriage. Marriage is a largely symbolic thing that doesn't really have much weight from my own perspective, but even if it was a big thing to me, I doubt it would change my view.

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Katy-KatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 11 at 4:29 am

Well, on a religious stand or not, this one's always tricky. But. On a practical and moral stand? I still say s. e. x should wait until after marriage, for two reasons.
 
1. S. e .x is just as much of a promise as marriage is. Once a couple decide that it's serious and this is a love they won't find anywhere else? They give themselves to one another, symbolically and well, physically as well. I believe marriage seals the deal morally and s.e. x seals the deal physically. It's probably the most influential point of the relationship that determines whether the couple will take that next step of creating a family or not. I mean, back then, you couldn't stop it and once you did it, you were expected to marry that person right away. x3 Showing that it's more than just a pleasure thing.
 
2. I honestly think s. E. X. Is meant to be looked forward to and once you do it well, that's like... it. What more is there to discover about your partner now? Well, nothing. Doing it too early can make it so regular and not meaningful anymore. All I gotta say is I hope hope HOPE my future husband will be a vi. Rgi. N. If not, I'll know by then that God knows their heart and they're forgiven, by me as well.

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Jackies63 replied...
Jul. 11 at 3:28 pm

I think that s.e.x before marriage has become completely acceptable. Will I wait until marriage? Most likely not. However I greatly respect the people who wait until marriage. Maintaing that much self control is a true feat. I don't think that vir.gin.ity matters that much in a marr.iage, because the promise of marr.iage is a much bigger deal to me than s.e.x.
I understand the reluntance to have s.e.x before marriage though.

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DoctorbugThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 12 at 7:19 pm

I think one should look up the statistics of the success of couples marraiges if one or both of the partners have had se.x before marraige and the statistics of couples marraiges when both partners have obstained from se.x. I think the most sensical person will conclude that it's best to obstain, if not already for religious reasons.
 
In my view, se.x, marraige, and babies go together. One needn't seperate them as it's not only unheathly for society but for the individual.
 
A lot of people believe you should "try out" your partner before you get married (Cohabitation), much like you would try on clothes before you buy them, or how you are unlikely to buy food you haven't tried before and know you like.
 
However, my argument is, people aren't clothes and they aren't food. Having se.x before marraige or trying out you're partner by living with them before marraige is an insult to your partner and it certainly doesn't built trust and reliance, two things that a marraige needs to survive.
 
Also, when you're preg.nant and going to have a child, there is no possible way that you can "try them out" before they are born. All you can do, if you don't ab.ort them (God forbid), is support them and care for them. How many parents, after deciding to have a child, give their children up for adoption or get rid of them after their birth, having not "tried them out" previously? Think of marraige as an unborn child. It helps.

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