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A.bortion and Dads

Destinee posted this thread...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 3:00 am

Hey you guys!
 
So I thought it'd be interesting to discuss a.bortions from the biological father's POV.
 
Okay. So I have no idea what the laws are like. I presume that in Canada if the dad wants the baby it doesn't matter.
 
But do you guys think that the dad should get to sign on to the papers if he thinks the baby should be born? Or that the dad can say, "No baby, a.bort"?
 
Both hypothetically (where if the dad cared he'd sign) and realistically (where dads might abandon the mother and she has no way of a.borting her child). 
 
Cheers.

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PotatoeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 3:13 am

I'll join this tomorrow when my brain starts working agaiinnnnnn.......

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stuntddudeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 6:19 am

Nope.

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 11:46 pm

From a practical standpoint (I'm not just talking the example given, but in general), it makes sense for the woman to have all the say. As people often say, her body, her choice.
 
But from a humanistic, personal... I don't know the word. Like, considering how it would feel from the father's perspective, and how much the mother cares for/repects the father, etc, things can get complicated.
 
For example, say if I became pre/ganant. Say my partner didn't want to keep the baby, but I did. Now, I love my partner. We're very close, we discuss things when we disagree, we like to make sure we understand one another. Ultimately it is my choice, but I respect my partner enough that I would take into account his opinion. And in this circumstance it could be pretty bad bringing a child that the father doesn't want into both our lives. He would support me and stay with me for sure, but he'd still be aware that he didn't want to keep the child. Things might turn out fine, we might find a way to supprt ourselves and our lives might be okay, but there's the chance that he might resent the child. Even though he loves it. Does this make sense?
 
From this kind of standpoint, it definitely makes sense to consider the father's opinion. I'm not saying that he should have final say, because that doesn't make sense at all, but I do think that if you're in a relationship, and there's mutual respect, that you should definitely consider what he wants, just as he should consider wht you want (and understand that in the end it's your choice).
 
stuntddude:
 
Why do you think the father should have no say?

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 11:48 pm

Oh, and from a legal respect, I think it makes more sense to have the mother make the choice. Like I said, it's far more practical.

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PotatoeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:53 pm

the mum's like the president and the dad's like the council. Mum has last say but the dad's opinion should be heard. So, basically what Jubilex said.

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Imaginedangerous replied...
Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Ethically, he has as much right to the child as she does. He helped create it, he gave it half it's DNA, and ideally he'll help raise it.
 
But ethics don't always apply to law in an imperfect world. Legally, I think the father (if he can be found) should at least be notified that the mother is seeking an abo.rtion. The final decision rests with the mother.

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stuntddudeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:00 am

Because a woman loses a lot more in a situation where she is forced to bear a child than a father does in a situation where he is unable to. There is a massive power imbalance -- an inequality of interest, if you will -- that needs to be accounted for.

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:49 pm

Thanks for that stuntddude. I didn't think you were wrong, but was interested in hearing your reasons. And it makes sense.

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