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my brother, 14, asked me to get him v odka

human6 posted this thread...
Jul. 10, 2013 at 1:31 pm

What the heck do I do

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human6 replied...
Jul. 10, 2013 at 1:57 pm

I'm worried because he's having serious emotional issues and my family has a history of alchohalism

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DynamoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 10, 2013 at 1:59 pm

You could try to talk him out of it. The best option would be to get him something that puts him off alcoholism completely

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Quantum1.0This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 10, 2013 at 2:17 pm

Yeah...I'm not sure if anything I can say will help that much or not. Of course I would try to talk him out of it - maybe try to address some of the reasons he feels like he has to/wants to drink. Then maybe hang out with him some - do some fun things to keep his mind off that sort of stuff. 

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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:20 am

Hey there! So, first things first, if you have any alcohol in your home you need to either get rid of it completely (best option) or put it where your brother won't know where to look.. but with that, he could always find and the whole 'not-knowing' could drive him bonkers. Next thing would be to tell him the benefits of not drinking and the costs of drinking. Talk to him about your concerns with alcoholism being in your family, let him know if he were to get addicted it's very difficult to get sober and remain that way, use people in your family as an example and say you don't want this to happen to him.

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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:21 am

he could always find it or say he doesn't the whole not-knowing could take a tole on him*

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human6 replied...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:47 am

There isn't boo ze in the house. He gets it from friends. He won't listen to me, he hates me and I'm not telling our parents

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DynamoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:16 am

Well, you can ask a guidance counselor (one who has the old bean in the right place) to talk to him.

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Destinee replied...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 11:59 am

Ian: 
 
You need to talk to a counsellor. Even if your family didn't have a history of alcoholism, that is illegal and also a bad idea to do if he is having emotional issues.
 
1) Why won't you tell your parents? (Or mother at the very least.) 
 
2) Why does he hate you? I suggest makng him somehow get over his hatred of you and taking him out for coffee, maybe an amusement park, etc etc. Get closer with him so that he has somebody in the family that he can rely on and relate to. He needs to be able to vent and discuss rather than drink and drown out his problems.. Try to form a connection with him. Honest to God, there is no better connection than the one with siblings and every kid longs for it naturally.
 
3) What sort of friends does he have? Why are they drinking at f.reaking 14? Can you talk to him about hte problems of drinking and alcoholism? They are numerous. Take him to the city, show him the hobos. Often they are alcoholics. Not everybody in high school drinks and drinking should not be associated with socializing. What sort of person is he? Would he be willing to slowly phase out his group of friends and make a new group? 
 
4) He needs to talk to a counsellor about his emotional issues. I'm pretty sure every school has one. Please encourage him to do so. You can talk to them beforehand, tell them what's up, ask them for help and advice. If he's too nervous or shy you can talk to them about how to overcome that. They are trained in this sort of thing.
 
Try to make his Friday and Saturday nights family fun nights. If you can, make your parents decalre that a Movie Night and you guys have to sit at home and watch a movie of his choosing (subtely, of course. He shouldn't feel like his fun is being cut off). Involve him in other fun activities. if you know any of his friends, encourage them to come over to your house, where you parents can keep an eye on what they are doing. Encourage him to invite them over. Do group activities like cooking or playing, I dunno, some video game. Something that people can bond over that does not involve illegal drinking. 
 
I'm really sorry that you have this stress Ian. Be extra nice and caring towards him. He should ideally be comfortable enough to tell you anything. Eventually ask him why he feels the need to drink, try to drill into him the reality of the problem, but do it lovingly. No one likes being preached at. If you can't do that, tell a family member or cousnellor to do it, but you have to be there for him. Siblings can be closer than friends and he should know that.
 
Peace and good luck 

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human6 replied...
Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:10 am

Hate was the wrong word, he doesn't respect my authority. Especially in areas like this, because I do the same stuff. Not v odka but be er and weed at parties sure.

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human6 replied...
Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:13 am

Mostly kids his age or older, he's summer away from high school. And in my town middle and high schoolers hang out together

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Destinee replied...
Jul. 13, 2013 at 2:57 am

.... you might want to stop doing that, Ian. Being anti-government doesn't mean you ahve to take toxic substances. (And here I'm talking about alcohol. Weed I have more a problem with because it's illegal and it stinks.) 
 
Anyway. Counsellor. Seriously. Or send him to camp or something. 

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human6 replied...
Jul. 13, 2013 at 10:39 am

I drink cause its fun. Every one does it.

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DynamoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 13, 2013 at 2:04 pm

Technically, everyone doesn't do it. But oh.

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Jul. 13, 2013 at 7:53 pm

*poker face* o____o I have nothing to say about weed, but as for drinking, it's not that bad as long as you control yourself ^^; Of course, if you're outta control that's not good, but i mean, dont be a party pooper or something. Be.er's not that bad ^^; ... I sound like a really bad kid, don't I?

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Destinee replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:23 am

Flo, his family has a history of alcoholism, and IMO alcohol is worse than w.eed.
 
Ian, nobody decides to become an alcoholic. Everyone starts because it's "fun". And not everybody does it. That is just not factual. Anyway, I don't see why you expect him not to drink if you do. 
 
Cheers.

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PotatoeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:39 am

True..... i dunno, im just saying dont be a party pooper, but dont go and get drunk off your a.ss e.e;

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PotatoeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:39 am

my mum always tells me abobut how when she gets old she's gonna try weed XD

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Destinee replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:42 am

"Don't be a party pooper" is exactly the sort of stuff I dislike hearing. If I think something is unethical and has serious social consequences, then I will be a party pooper. I honestly don't think having to  sacrifice on fun is enough of a reason to not stop doing something :) 

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PotatoeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:44 am

XD go ahead, but im still gonna call you a party pooper :P Not sure about you, but the meaning of my life is to be happy and have fun, so that's what im gonna do ^^

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