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A bullying debate!! I really need many people's thoughts and views about this please!!

guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:44 am

I am writing an arguement/ Reasearch paper about human nature.  I have chosen to talk about bullying. I am covering different areas of it and mostly focusing on these questions: 
 
1.) why do bullys bully 
2.) why do people allow themslves to be bully 
3.) why do we allow others to be bullied.  
  
I am also trying to cover this subject from the veiw point of Cyber Bullying rather than other types of bullying and how it is super dangerous (I think Amanda Todd is a very sad but a good example of this). 
  
I would really like to hear your opion on these questions to help me be able to cover all opinions over this subject besides just my own. 
  
Thank you for your time. 

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm

1. Insecurity.
2. Insecurity–they feel like they deserve it.

3. Selfishness. We don't want to get ourselves involved cuz it doesn't concern us......those who are bystanders anywayz

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DoctorbugThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:28 pm

1. I second RarelyJaded. Sometimes though, the bully just thinks it's funny. I hold the strong belief that bullies need just as much help as the bullied. For all we know, the bully could be back at home cutting themself or contemplating suicide. Bullying others that day might have been a way to let out their own inner torment.
 
2. It's very intimidating to be bullied. I think it's more harmful for a bullied person when no-one steps in to stop the bullying, then the actual bullying itself.
 
3. Fear. Whenever I ask my friends why they won't stop someone from bullying somone else, it's the same answer every time. "I don't want to get hurt." This is because that person has had some bad experience with bullying before.
 
Yet if one were to stand up to a bully and hold their ground, they will find that it is actually a lot easier than previously percieved, as bullies are generally very insecure.
 
Bullies use a very wide range of tactics to intimidate the victim. The reason why each bully uses different words and different actions to bully, is not because the bully knows that is what gets to the victim the most, but what the bully themself finds horrifying.
 
That is why bullying doesn't work on some people, and why when you always turn a bullies words or whatever around to the bully, they don't like it.
 
That is my opinion on bullying. I believe both the bully and the bullied should get help.

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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:35 pm

These are very helpful. Thanks you two!  They are opening a new direction for me to write on. 
 
ANy more ideas/ opinions are welcomed!

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half.noteThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 6:15 pm

1. There are a lot of different reasons why people bully others:
 
a) Ignorance. Sometimes the bully just doesn't realize how cruel they are being. Or maybe that just don't care how they make the other person feel.
 
b) Upbringing. If a child was brought up never being treated with respect, then they won't treat others with respect.
 
c) Insecurity. This is a common one, but still important. The bully may not feel sure about themselves so they work at making others feel insecure and small.
 
d) Lack of sympathy. Maybe the bully just doesn't have a conscience or a moral compass, so they do whatever they want.
 
e) Hate. Sometimes bullies are just truly sadistic and hateful people. They don't value themselves or others and may even take joy in causing others pain. (Though these are probably just the extreme cases).
 
f) Friends. Often bullying can become a cascade effect. Someone teases or makes fun of somebody a couple times (maybe not even intending to be mean) and then it becomes cool to bully that person.
(I see this form of bullying the most in my school.)
 
Bullies don't generally work alone. They will usually bully only when their friends are there to laugh and cheer them on.
 
 
2. Again, this question has many answers:
 
a) Fear. The victim may feel that telling someone or standing up for themselves will make it worse.
 
b) Helplessness. Sometimes the victim feels that anything they try to do won't have an affect.
 
c) Acceptance. This is the hardest one to solve, but unfortunately it is quiet common. Often the victim is willing to be bullied, and will sometimes even make themselves a target. Whether this acceptance is based on their own insecurities, or if being a victim just becomes part of their identity or a way to attract attention, it all depends.
 
d) Denial. The victim may somtimes just completely deny that they are being bullied, or they will talk themselves into believing that the bullying isn't that bad and that they shouldn't bother working it out.
 
 
3. I have a couple friends who are sometimes bullied, and I often wonder why I don't step in.
I've narrowed it down to a couple reasons:
 
a) Mostly, it's probably because I underestimate the damage the bullying causes and my importance in stopping it.
After it happens I will think back and realize I probably should have said something, but at the time I just dismiss it as silliness and assume that no harm will be done or that someone else will step in.
 
b) It sometimes happens too fast. Somebody will say something mean and I before I can comment they have moved on.
 
c) Fear also plays a factor. I wouldn't say it's fear that I will be bullied too, but fear that I will only make the situation worse.
 
d) Laziness/ Unwillingness to take responsibility. I'm going to be hard on myself here and admit that I usually stay quiet because I really just don't want to speak up.
It is so much easier to ignore it and hope it goes away rather than standing up to people who will likely just create a conflict.
It is easier to say, "It doesn't affect me, why should I get involved?" rather than saying, "Would I want others to stand up for me if it was me being bullied?"
 
It is human nature to be selfish and try not to get ourselves involved in situations that may cause us harm or discomfort.
 
Everytime I see bullying it becomes an internal struggle to do what's right.

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human6 replied...
Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:29 pm

1. Sadism, anger. Desire to fit by making others pariah.
2. Not knowing how to deal with it. Thinking that taking it is easier than fighting back.
3. Selfishness,

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CollinF replied...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:19 pm

Some research has shown that many bullies suffer from low testosterone levels (which in turn causes undue anger and violence) due to a disorder known as hypogonadism, meaning their balls are abnormally small.

Imagine the difference it would make if word got out . . .

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CollinF replied...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:19 pm

 
Some research has shown that many bullies suffer from low testosterone levels (which in turn causes undue anger and violence) due to a disorder known as hypogonadism, meaning their b*lls are abnormally small. 
 
Imagine the difference it would make if word got out . . .

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Gryffindor replied...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:31 pm

Insecurity is a good word to describe cyber bullies as well. Lack of security is another. Most of the time its racism, se.xism, political beliefs, or just because.

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Breece6 replied...
Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:42 pm

I watched an interesting little short film recently about this teenager who purposely put himself into a position where he would be bullied by these 4 or 5 other teenage guys playing basketball.  It was based on a real story, apparently, the guy liked it, he was a little bit "masochistic" meaning that he enjoyed being bullied or pushed around to a degree.
 
Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not saying that this is even a common situation, I just think it's an interesting thing to consider.  
 
On a more relevant note, I think bullying is almost human nature to a certain point, we're a competitive species, it's in our nature to put ourselves above others.
 
Doesn't make it any more right though, that's why one of the fruits of the spirit is self control :)

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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:55 pm

half.note, your reply was most useful. :)
human6,  thanks for the imput! Very helpful.
Gryffindor,  thank you too!  This is helping me a lot. :)
CollinF, yes, I have heard of that before...
 
Breece6, That is very interesting.  Did he just want attention period or did he only want to be bullied? (Not that I can understand it either way...)

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CollinF replied...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:21 am

Breece:
 
You're really pre-occupied with s.ex, aren't you?

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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 23, 2013 at 9:48 am

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and ideas!! With your help I was able to get an 'A' on my paper. :D Thank you again for taking th time to help me out!!!

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half.noteThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:02 am

You're welcome, gaurdian.
 
Congrats on the A!
 
God bless. ♥

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Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:08 am

breece: "one of the fruits of the spirit is self control"
 
did G-d tell you that or did the Bible?

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