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Feedback For Free! :)

Shailee M. posted this thread...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 11:35 am

If anyone would like detailed feedback and a rating, please leave the name of your article and what it is exactly (like a short story or poem or novel or whatever)
If you'd like to take a look at any of my short stories, you're more than welcome to but it's not required :)
Thanks~

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E.J.Mathews replied...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 3:09 pm

If you could take a look at my article The Rising Sun of Mark Gloom that would be great! It might be a little confusing because it has two stories which come before it, The Fading Light of Mark Joy, and The Eternal Darkness of Emily Gloom. They are all short, but you don't have to read them all. Thanks!

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tikapeek97 replied...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 5:23 pm

Hi! Could you please check out my short story Alice? Its an Alice in Wonderland fanfic. Im trying to get feedback because I want to work on my writing.
Thanks!!

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luv2bLDS replied...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 5:47 pm

I'd love feedback on my story Call Me Charlie! It's in the novel section. Thanks!!!

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Shailee M. replied...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 5:57 pm

@EJ Mathews
I commented on The Eternal Darkness of Emily Gloom and The Rising Sun of Mark Gloom!
I thought you did a great job on both and the way you made the language flow was wonderful! (:

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Shailee M. replied...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 5:59 pm

EJ Mathews
I commented on The Eternal Darkness of Emily Gloom and the Rising Sun of Mark Gloom! 
I thought you did a great job on both stories and the language flow was wonderful! :)

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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 7:17 pm

Hey, I'd really appreciate some feedback on my most recent stuff which is my poem "The Departing Oak" and my two short stories "Belly Of The Beast" and "Killer Attitude". Feel free to read anything else that takes your fancy. Thanks :)

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Carly_ElizabethThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 6, 2013 at 9:38 pm

Hey! It would be awesome if you could read my poem Tell Me. And if you have time could you read my vignette (personal experience) Pastor's Kid. Thanks in advance. 

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SportsStar23 replied...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:52 am

Tikapeek97
I commented on your story! I thought you did a great job with detail and development of character as well! (:

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SportsStar23 replied...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:26 pm

luv2bLDs
I commented on your story! It was absolutely fantastic! (:

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LaChouette replied...
Aug. 26, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Hello! I was wondering if you could look at my short story 'Consistency' and poem 'Inner Battle.' I also have a novel called 'Love has no Boundaries.' You don't have to read it, but if you're interested, you can. Thanks!

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None0 replied...
Aug. 26, 2013 at 11:34 pm

Go for Darkest Shadow. It's a novel, and it's long, so I'll only request that you read 1 chapter (skip the prologue if you're going to do this), but you can read the whole thing if you want.

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writtenmusic202 replied...
Aug. 29, 2013 at 6:50 pm

I could really use some feedback on this, the version I need critique on isn't published yet so I'm just going to have to attach it! Thank you!!
For reasons unexplained  a man watches idly as his long abandoned cigarette smolders away.
The weary ashtray droops but carries the weight of 10 minute worries and burdens, there isn’t anything he can do but be there, to catch the burnt ember tears.
Smoke curls in on itself as it reaches for the horizon, leaving behind the sitting man.
In a room surrounded by the black and blues of life he sits, his life long over and the sun waiting for clearer skies. He isn’t bitter or foul but he has seen the decay, the blurred social tightrope, and he remains; remains the reflection of a aged and lived man.
two minutes go by and the red glow vanishes, leaving only a black and grey graveyard of color and yet the man does not look away. Even extinguished the burned stump offers a memento of silence.
He can’t look away, even as his form fades, becoming one with the damp darkness. Nothing left behind but an idea, a trace, an essence. All that remains is that little white roll, burned around the edges and long abandoned. The room holds no shadows, only the memory of a man who followed his heavy smoke into the dark abyss above.


 
 

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Midnight5765This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 31, 2013 at 10:02 pm

Wazzup bro. I need some comments on some of my works. One of them is a letter to the editor and the other is just a expericence. Please read these and any others that spurg ur intrest thanks!
"AskAllie" Magazine Placement
Volunteering @ My Local Library

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SarahHarmonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 1, 2013 at 7:55 pm

I would love if you could give me some feedback on "Nora and Peter in Paris: A Love Scene" (unless of course you do not like theater that much). If that is so, I would be equally ecstatic if you read something else of mine. Thanks Shailee! (I'll be sure to check out some of your work as well.)

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Midnight5765This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 2, 2013 at 11:18 am

Hi I have a Hot Topic Letter to the Editor and a Song Lyric for you to read. The first one is "AskAllie" Magazine Placement and the other is "Was Is My Interrogative." Please comment and tell yo friends ASAP!

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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 2, 2013 at 12:13 pm

If you haven't read it would you mind checking out my short story "I am Tomorrow" ? I'll go and look at some of your stuff now. :)

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SwanSong replied...
Sept. 4, 2013 at 11:16 am

If you get the chance, I'd love some feedback on my short story "The Truth About Expectations" or any of my poems that catch your interest! Thanks!

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Csquared replied...
Sept. 4, 2013 at 5:36 pm

Hi! Would you mind looking at my 2 short stories The Un-Named Tragedy and The Lone Wolf. They are my only short stories that I have posted so far, and I am curious to see what you think of them. Thanks a ton!

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TanazMasabaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 5, 2013 at 1:43 am

Yay! I would really like it if someone helped me proof read my story. I still haven't posted it on TI (in fact I haven't posted anything in a long while) but I'm sending it in now and when it gets posted I'll let you know ASAP!

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