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Desperate for feedback! 3 for 1 deal!

E.J.Mathews posted this thread...
Jul. 30, 2013 at 8:45 pm

Hey TeenInk user! I would really like you to read my article "Tobacco: A Poison in Disguise". The piece really means a lot to me because I wrote it for a friend who recently started smoking at a young age. I need to know what I can do to make it better, so I can present it to her! Since it would mean so much for you to read, rate and comment, I will do the same for 3 of your articles, 4 of your poems, or one short novel! Thank you!

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fountainpen replied...
Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:50 pm

I read your article and deeply hope that your article is enough to convince your friend to quit. Anyways, when you have the chance, I would like you to read my stories - pick any of them (major emphasis on The Witch and Me.) Thanks! :)

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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:01 am

Hey I commented on your article, very strong stuff; I too have had to try and talk friends out of abusing drugs (of all kinds), so I know how you feel. I hope it fulfills its purpose :)

Anyway, I'd appreciate any feedback you can give really, specifically on my latest posts "Belly Of The Beast", "The Departing Oak" and "Killer Attitude".

If there is anything else that catches your eye, feel free to read that as well, thanks :)

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Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:41 am

Hey, I rated and commented the article! Good luck; you have great cause to write and publish this. Could you please read my articles An Eye for a Tooth, We the Imagine, and Let the Mountains Speak.

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WriteOrWrong replied...
Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:06 pm

Hiya! I'd be willing to give feedback on more than just one piece of your work if you would like. It would be great if you could look at 'The Imperfect Moment,' 'Sips of Sorrow,' and 'Absent Goodbye.'  One is a short story and the other two are poems, I hope that is alright. 

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Carly_ElizabethThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 31, 2013 at 6:52 pm

I commented on your article and I really do hope your friend quits. Best of luck. :) Any ways, when you have time I wouldn't mind you reading Beautiful Trategy, Sore Loser, and Grandfather Tree. Thanks. 

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None0 replied...
Aug. 1, 2013 at 1:59 am

Read your article, and I really hope your friend stops smoking. It's terrible for your health in so many ways I can't even list them all.
 
Usually I'd do these kinds of reviews for free, but if you feel guilty about it, go ahead and read a few chapters of one of my novels. I won't request the whole thing, since they're all fairly long.

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Superhero_Fan replied...
Aug. 3, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Hey E.J.! I just commented on it. This one's free. I hope you don't take my criticisms the wrong way. I'm just trying to be specific. Thanks! :)

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E.J.Mathews replied...
Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:47 pm

Yea. I have an article pending called The Eternal Darkness of Emily Gloom. I compiled 3 articles I had on here and improved upon them, so idk if you read any of those.

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Superhero_Fan replied...
Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:50 pm

E.J.! What happened to your article? Did you delete it? Oh, and I'm glad you're back. ^_^

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E.J.Mathews replied...
Aug. 16, 2013 at 2:44 pm

Hey, Superhero Fan. Yes, I deleted my article from the site. Unfortunatly the girl I wrote this for is no longer my friend, and I never got to show her what I wrote. I will still read everyone's articles for their help though. And SuperheroFan, because of your username, I was wondering if you would enjoy the first novel in my Superpowers series "Superpowers:Malum". In it I created characters with original powers, cities, and back stories. Just though you might like it. Oh and it's only about 10 pages long, so it's not too overwhelming.

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Superhero_Fan replied...
Aug. 16, 2013 at 2:58 pm

I'll check it out, thanks! And I'm sorry about your friend-who-is-no-longer-a-friend.

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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 25, 2013 at 6:09 pm

Hey E.J. I don't know if you commented on any of my work, but I haven't recieved anything. Feel free to take you time still, just letting you know in case it didn't post (other people have had that problem before as well). :)

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E.J.Mathews replied...
Aug. 27, 2013 at 11:38 pm

Hey, BlackbeltJames. I have read one or two of the works you asked me to read, but haven't had the time to comment yet. I'm going to have a lot of extra time in the next week or so, and I think that I will read everyone's stories then!

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