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The Valley of The Dolls.

dragonsandthree replied...
May 17, 2013 at 4:51 pm

Here's the next chapter! I hope you like it, and I'm sorry for it taking so long.

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 17, 2013 at 4:52 pm

 
Leo Thais’s head spun as it was slammed into the locker again. The boy whom held Leo’s jacket laughed. “Having fun, Leo?” He asked cruelly.
“Not really.” Leo choked out.
The boy who held Leo’s jacket, Jack Owens, threw Leo to the ground. Jack was the largest boy that Leo had ever seen. Jack’s arms and legs bulged with muscles. He had short brown hair and black eyes.
“Anything else?” Leo asked. ‘Stupid.’ He thought to himself.
“Not today.” Jack said. He grinned. “But I look forward to our ‘talk’ tomorrow.”  Jack walked down the empty school hallway, his laughter echoing back at Leo.
Leo watched Jack’s back as he turned the corner. “I hate him.” Leo said to nothing and nobody. “I’d kill Jack if I wasn’t so scared about what would happen to Lisa.” Leo sighed. “I have to stop talking to myself.” He said. Leo got up to feet and swayed unsteadily. “At least I don’t have a concussion.” Leo grumbled to himself as he walked down the hallway in a less than straight line. “Jack’s given me enough of them.”
“Leo!” A girl’s voice screamed. A young girl with long, mousy brown hair and light brown eyes flew down the hallway and tackled Leo. She wrapped her thin arms around Leo’s waist in an embrace that always surprised Leo. The girl was sobbing hysterically.
“Lisa!” Leo exclaimed. “What’s wrong?” Leo wrapped his arms around his younger sister’s shoulders.
“S-s-s-something happened-d to Oliva!” Lisa wailed, her face pressed against Leo’s stomach.
“Why do you say that?” Leo asked.
“She didn’t come to school today!”
“She could just be sick.” Leo said soothingly, then winced when he realized what he had just said.
“Sick!” Lisa screamed. She began to cry harder. A few doors near Leo and Lisa opened, and several teachers poked their heads out. Leo thought about what they must look like. A tall, thin boy with thick, long brown hair that mostly covered dark blue eyes hugging a girl whom was sobbing violently.
Leo closed his eyes and silently cursed himself. He had completely forgotten about Lisa’s fear of disease.
“Come on, Lisa.” Leo gently. “Let’s go home.”

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 17, 2013 at 4:52 pm

 
Lisa looked up at Leo, her face tear-streaked. “But you aren’t out of school.” She said.
“I am now.” Leo said firmly. He took Lisa’s hand and began to walk down the hallway. Lisa hesitated, then followed Leo, grasping his hand tightly.




Ten minutes later, Leo and Lisa were sitting next to the window at their favorite coffee shop in Redwood City, Redwood Tea & Coffee. Leo was drinking a cup of coffee while Lisa slowly tore a cinnamon roll apart and ate it. “Leo?” Lisa asked. “Why did we leave school early?”
“Because we needed to.” Leo told his sister.
“Are we going home next?”
“Yeah.”
“Leo?” Lisa said. “Is Mommy going to talk to me today?”
Leo almost spat out the mouthful of coffee he had as razor-sharp pain seemed to slice his heart. “I don’t know.” Leo said. “I’m sorry, Lisa. I just don’t know.”
“Mommy still loves me though, right?”
“Of course she does.” Leo replied, a leaden weight in his stomach at the lie. Leo did not if his mother was capable of loving anybody anymore.
Lisa swallowed the last bite of her cinnamon roll. “Let’s go home.” She said. Her tears were gone, and the only sign that she had ever been crying was the fact that there was a slight puffiness around her eyes.
Leo nodded, not trusting himself to speak anymore. They both got up and left.




“Mom!” Lisa yelled once they walked in the front door of their house. “We’re-”
“Shhhh.” Leo said. “Just be quiet.” Lisa looked up at Leo, surprised. “Okay.” She said. “Can I watch TV?” Leo nodded. Lisa walked over to the large, olive green couch and hopped up on it.
Leo watched Lisa for a moment, then walked up the staircase behind the couch. The staircase ended in a short hallway with four doors on either side and one door at the end. Leo entered the first door on his left. He was relieved to hear the steady beeping sound. “Hi, Mom.”
Leo’s mother did not answer because she could not. Leo sat next to his mother on her large, king-sized bed and took her thin, small, cold hand. Leo blinked back tears as he remembered the day that had rendered his mother, Irene Thais, like this.




It had been one year before, when Leo was fifteen. Irene had been driving. Leo had been in the passengers seat, arguing with Lisa in the back.
“Enough!” Irene had yelled. Then it happened. Irene’s whole body convulsed, and she threw the steering wheel to the left. The blue minivan smashed through the metal railing on the side of the overpass it was on and flipped. It landed upside down on top of another car. The

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 17, 2013 at 4:53 pm

 
impact had broken Irene’s back and neck in several different places. She had been completely paralyzed; Irene could not even open her eyes.




Leo sat next to her in silence for several more minutes. Then he got up and checked the screen on the heart monitor next to Irene’s bed. Leo bent down and kissed his mother’s forehead. Leo sent a glance around the room. The bed was pressed against the back wall with Irene’s machines next to it. The walls were painted a light blue, and black carpet coated the floor. A large, ornate dresser was pressed against the wall opposite the bed.
“I love you.” Leo whispered. He brushed some of Irene’s dark brown hair out of her face, then left.
Leo reentered the living room. Lisa was still sitting on the couch, watching a cartoon. The couch was at the very edge of a large rug with green and gold swirls. ‘Like the Great Hall.’ Leo thought. The flooring in the living room, dining room, and kitchen were all a light hardwood. All of the walls were painted the same ocean blue, and Leo felt the pain that he always did when he looked at the walls. Like his heart was being twisted. The walls were the same shade that Irene’s eyes had been while they were still open.
“Leo?” Lias called, startling Leo out of his sad memories. “What’s for dinner?”
“I don’t know.” Leo replied. “What time is it?”
“Three o’ clock.”
“I’m going to take a nap.” Leo told her.
“You take lots of naps.” Lisa noted. “Are you tired?”
“Yeah.” Leo lied as he moved back up the staircase. “I’ll see you later.”
Leo ran up the stairs as quickly as he could. He entered his room, which was just beyond Irene’s. Leo’s room was small. His dresser, bed, nightstand, and the small bookcase barely fit in it. Leo walked over to his bed and just laid down. He closed his eye and took a deep breath. “One, two, three.” Leo opened his eyes, and jumped to his feet in the Great Hall of the Valley of the Dolls.

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LexusMarie replied...
May 18, 2013 at 12:02 pm

Hey Andy, sorry I took awhile to read the chapter. I have been pretty busy. Anyways, I really like the introducation to Leo. I thought it was good without giving his whole personality and such away. I am very excited for Leo and Adelle to meet. I like how Leo takes care of his sister and the sadness in the parts about Leo's and Lisa's mom, it's good.. it feels honest and real. I love the descriptions of the rooms in the house. I think that this is coming along great and I am ready to hear more about the valley. Sometimes there are small errors, like in this last paragraph posted Lisa's name is spelled 'Lias'. But, that's okay, it can  be fixed easily. Anyways, good job and good luck with the next chapter. Let me know if you need help. And how is the romance novel coming along?

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 18, 2013 at 12:22 pm

Umm....I dropped for one that's more of a mystery. It's a problem I have. I've got too many ideas. But I've got the romance novel saved on a file, and I'll probably work on it at a later time.

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 18, 2013 at 12:28 pm

Also, thanks for the tip about Lisa's name. I'm glad it got caught before I put the chapter online.

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LexusMarie replied...
May 18, 2013 at 1:47 pm

Ahh, cool. Have you read the book 'And Then There Were None'? And sure, no problem.

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 18, 2013 at 2:42 pm

Umm.......no. 

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LexusMarie replied...
May 18, 2013 at 10:24 pm

You should! It's a pretty good crime/mystery novel written by Agatha Christie. I had to read it for school and I have enjoyed it. It's pretty fun trying to decide who killed who and where he/she is. It's not very long since it's been edited. It has 173 pages.

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 19, 2013 at 8:25 am

Okay, I'll look into it.

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 19, 2013 at 2:07 pm

Lexus, I was thinking about the end of the book, and I had an idea of branching it to a squel. What do you think?

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LexusMarie replied...
May 19, 2013 at 11:03 pm

Yeah! I think that sequels are great! I'd love to see this extended even further.

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 19, 2013 at 11:09 pm

I'm glad! See, the basic plot is that in the end of this book, Adelle runs away from her parents to live with Leo. For the sequel, /leo and Adelle have to deal with both a group of bounty hunter whom Adelle's parents hired to catch them, and the fact that the Valley is begaining to blend with the real world.

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LexusMarie replied...
May 20, 2013 at 6:58 pm

Yeah, I like that. Adelle is being rebellious and Leo is trying to be her safe-place. Hmm, I wonder how that will work out? And the Valley is blending with the real world, man. They are having quite a few difficulties. And I am thinking with some bounty hunters after them some crime will happen, yeah, it will be good. 

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 20, 2013 at 7:20 pm

I'm glad you like it. :) Of course, that's still a long way off.

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 20, 2013 at 10:24 pm

Here's the third chapter:

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 20, 2013 at 10:25 pm

 
Leo glanced around the Great Hall. It was a tall building, with the highest roof that Leo had ever seen. It arched up until the peak of it was almost too far up to see. Bright red and deep gold were swirled together going up the walls and covering the ceiling. The floor was a smooth, white marble with streaks of black and orange. Leo saw one other doll whom was just on her back. Leo walked over to her, his porcelain feet making a slight clinking sound.
“Are you alright?” Leo asked the girl. The girl did not respond, and Leo caught sight of himself in one of the numerous mirrors which covered the walls. Leo had been entirely turned into a porcelain doll. He was about the same height that he was in real-life, and he looked the same as every other boy doll in the Valley. Leo was wearing black pants and a red shirt. He had black eyes that looked painted on, and his hair was  just lines etched into his head. One his left shoulder was a small, black number 16. Leo did not have any lips, or a mouth, and so, he, and everybody else in the Valley, communicated telepathically.
The girl whom was on her back was wearing a blue dress. Her eyes were a light, sky blue. Her hair was not carved into her head the way Leo’s was, but more like a block of porcelain that curved around her face.
Leo repeated his question, and the girl answered him. “Yes.” She said, the words echoing inside of Leo’s head. “At least, I think I am. Where am I?”
“You’re in the Valley of the Dolls.” Leo replied.
The girl sat up. “What’s your name?” She asked.
“Leo.” Leo replied. “What’s your name?”
“Adelle-” Adelle’s voice seemed to be cut short. “Leo?” She asked. “Why can’t I tell you my last name?”
“It’s just something you can’t say.” Leo told her. “You can’t tell anybody in the Valley your last name or where you live.”
“I live in-” Once again, Adelle’s voice suddenly fell silent.
“Would you like a hand?” Leo asked. Adelle nodded, and Leo reached out on hand. Adelle’s grasped it, and Leo pulled Adelle to her feet.
“How old are you?” Adelle asked, slightly shyly.
“Sixteen. You?”
“The same.” Adelle looked around the Great Hall. “Leo, where am I?”
“You already asked that.” Leo told her. He felt like he was smiling even though he did not have lips.
Adelle’s eyes widened. “What was that? You seemed....”
“Lighter?” Leo guessed.

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 20, 2013 at 10:26 pm

 
“How did you know that?” Adelle asked. But before Leo could answer, the two great, tall, dark doors made of oak swung open, letting a torrent of sunlight streaming into the Great Hall. A boy doll was standing in the doorway, and Leo quickly released that it was his friend, Joe. Leo felt a mixture of feelings emanating from Joe. Fear and sorrow.
“What’s wrong, Joe?” Leo asked.
“Hope’s leaving!” Joe said. Joe had two different features than Leo or Adelle: he had a bright yellow heart glowing on his chest, and streaks of blue light running down his cheeks. Joe turned and disappeared.
Leo began to move quickly across the marble floor, and Adelle followed. “Who’s Hope?” She asked Leo. “Or did he mean hope like, um, hope?”
“Hope’s my friend.” Leo said. “And she’s going to leave the Valley in a few minutes.”
“Why?” Adelle asked.
“Because!-” Leo was cut short inches from the doors when he tripped over his own feet. He tumbled out the doorway, and he vaguely heard Adelle scream as Leo began to fall down the flight of stairs that went from the doors of the Great Hall to the base of the Great Hill. Leo had counted once. There were over a thousand. Leo fell and fell, slamming his shoulders, head, and back repeatedly on the stone steps until he landed on the circle of dirt at the base of the stairs. Leo got to his feet quickly and ran towards a small group of dolls whom were standing in a patch of tall lavender plants. When Leo reached the group of dolls, most of them moved aside to let him in the center. There, Joe was holding a girl doll with the number 17 on her arm.
The girl looked up when Leo came close, and released Joe. Hope moved over to Leo. She also had a glowing heart on her chest and blue tears streaming down her face. “Hello, Leo. Hope said.
“Hi, Hope.” Leo said. “Are you really leaving?”
Hope nodded. “I’ll miss both of you.” She stepped forward and hugged Leo briefly before she released him. Hope turned back to Joe, and froze. The small 17 on her shoulder wavered, then turned into an 18. Hope slowly began to move away from Leo, Joe, and the other dolls. She headed straight for a second hill, directly across from the Great Hill. Black Hill. Atop the Black Hill was the Tomb.
The Tomb was black building that looked like a Grecian building. It had a floor that stretched out slightly further than the roof and tall, golden columns holding the roof up.
Leo and Joe followed Hope as she mounted the first of the black marble steps.
“Hope!” Joe called. “Hope! Come back!”
“You know that she can’t come back.” Leo said bluntly as they followed Hope. “I’m sorry, Joe. This is going to be the last time that you ever see Hope.”
Joe ignored  Leo and continued to follow Hope.
“Leo!” Adelle suddenly appeared next to Leo. “What’s wrong with her? And what is that building?”

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dragonsandthree replied...
May 20, 2013 at 10:26 pm

 
“Her name is Hope.” Leo said as they climbed. “The building is the Tomb. And Hope is leaving the Valley forever.”
“Why?” Adelle asked.
“Because you can’t come back when you turn eighteen.” Leo said simply.
“Can I ask you one last question?” Adelle asked.
Leo rolled his eyes and smiled. “Fine.”
“Why are their chests glowing?”
L“How did you know that?” Adelle asked. But before Leo could answer, the two great, tall, dark doors made of oak swung open, letting a torrent of sunlight streaming into the Great Hall. A boy doll was standing in the doorway, and Leo quickly released that it was his friend, Joe. Leo felt a mixture of feelings emanating from Joe. Fear and sorrow.
“What’s wrong, Joe?” Leo asked.
“Hope’s leaving!” Joe said. Joe had two different features than Leo or Adelle: he had a bright yellow heart glowing on his chest, and streaks of blue light running down his cheeks. Joe turned and disappeared.
Leo began to move quickly across the marble floor, and Adelle followed. “Who’s Hope?” She asked Leo. “Or did he mean hope like, um, hope?”
“Hope’s my friend.” Leo said. “And she’s going to leave the Valley in a few minutes.”
“Why?” Adelle asked.
“Because!-” Leo was cut short inches from the doors when he tripped over his own feet. He tumbled out the doorway, and he vaguely heard Adelle scream as Leo began to fall down the flight of stairs that went from the doors of the Great Hall to the base of the Great Hill. Leo had counted once. There were over a thousand. Leo fell and fell, slamming his shoulders, head, and back repeatedly on the stone steps until he landed on the circle of dirt at the base of the stairs. Leo got to his feet quickly and ran towards a small group of dolls whom were standing in a patch of tall lavender plants. When Leo reached the group of dolls, most of them moved aside to let him in the center. There, Joe was holding a girl doll with the number 17 on her arm.
The girl looked up when Leo came close, and released Joe. Hope moved over to Leo. She also had a glowing heart on her chest and blue tears streaming down her face. “Hello, Leo. Hope said.
“Hi, Hope.” Leo said. “Are you really leaving?”
Hope nodded. “I’ll miss both of you.” She stepped forward and hugged Leo briefly before she released him. Hope turned back to Joe, and froze. The small 17 on her shoulder wavered, then turned into an 18. Hope slowly began to move away from Leo, Joe, and the other dolls. She headed straight for a second hill, directly across from the Great Hill. Black Hill. Atop the Black Hill was the Tomb.
The Tomb was black building that looked like a Grecian building. It had a floor that stretched out slightly further than the roof and tall, golden columns holding the roof up.

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