Hello, Lexus! I think I will start by out-lining the basic plot of the novel.
The idea is that the two main characters, Leo and (insert girl's name here) meet in the Valley of The Dolls, which is where children who don't fit in in the real world are able to go when they are asleep. In the Valley, the people whom go there are transformed into porcelain dolls. The boys' dolls all look the same, but I'm not quite sure what they will look like yet. The girls' dolls also all look the same. Their hair is always short and frames their face, and is also made out of porcelain. Their eyes are blue, and they blink, and they wear blue lace dresses. On all of the dolls arms are their age, and once you turn eighteen, you can no longer enter the Valley.
So, I took the lines "Oh dear diary, you'll met some toy/they'll light up your doll heart with joy" to add romance to the book. The dolls can comuncate, and if they get a crush, a heart-shaped light glows on their chest.
Once Leo and the second main character meet, their chests light up.
The next part of the plot is this: before Leo meets the girl, he sees strange dolls that are are dressed entirely in black. They touch other dolls, and cracks appear in them. Leo is the only one who notices this for a while. Then, one girl's doll actually breaks apart, and she is in the Valley as she looks in the real world. But when she tries to go back to the real world, she can't. And in her bed is a life-sized porcelain doll.
This continues until Leo and the girl decide to do something about it. They decide that to get to the bottom of who is trapping the children is to do two things: find each other in the real world and ffind the one person whom no one in the Valley have ever seen: the creator of the Valley.
The creator of the Valley, (reffured to the the Creator) is a whitch whom was cast out by the other children when she was young. So she created the Valley so thst children like her would have something good in their lives. The people who she believes should be allowed into the Valley, she gives a note. it says Hold your breath, and close your eyes. Count to three, fall asleep, and open your eyes with me.
The villan in the story is a wizard who was thrown out of the Valley on his eighteenth birthday, and he thinks that he is doing the children a favor by keeping them in the Valley. I'm still not sure how it will end, but that's the basic idea. I look forward to your thoughts :)
I really like the concept! You turned this into a beautiful story! I have a question! Are you sure they should all look the same? I feel like their hair and eye color should match with their normal human colors. BUT, this is your story, so that is entirely up to you. The girls name, if you'd like, can be Adelle which means sweet or noble in french. I really love the idea of their chests being lit up. And I like how there is an antagonist in the story. I think a touch of romance, suspense, and thrill are good things that you have included! And I think the ending should not be 'decided' until the end! It will just come together, you know? So, you'd like me to write poetry for this, correct? And that will be my main job and as you go along writing I can help you with ideas for the story? Or how would you like to do that? It's up to you because this is your story. I think it's coming along wonderfully! I'm excited to see where this goes.
Of course you can help! I wanted all of the dolls to look the same only to add a little bit of trouble in Leo and Adelle(great name) finding each other.
Also, I was going to add a short poem in the first chapter. Can you write it? Like I said before, the poem can be about anything you want.
Once I get finished with the first chapter, I'll put it up here.
Yes, that makes sense! And sure, I will write a poem, but give me a little bit of what the first chapter will be about so that the poem can tie in with it! And I am sorry, but what is your name? You're so kind, I'd like to address you by your name.
Andy. Ummmmm........... the first chapter just really introduces Leo and the Valley. In it, he goes to the Valley, sees on of the black dolls, then re-enters the real world. Aso, it explains the two buildings in the Valley, the Great Hall and the Tomb (which isn't really as ominius as it sounds). One of Leo's two friends in the Valley, Hope, also turns eighteen and leaves. Hope will be re introduced in the real world, I think, and will help Leo find Adelle. After Leo leaves the Valley, the rest of the chapter is about his life in the real world. The poem is something that he writess in his notebook while in history class.
Also, the next chapter will sort of be the same thing, but from Adelle's point of veiw,. It will also include her first trip to the Valley.
Nice to meet you, Andy! Okay, I understand. So, you want the poems to be about their real lives and the valley? I was thinking Leo's could be about wanting love? And Adelle's could be about her life and the valley? Or would you like something changed? Once you answer those I will start writing today! (:
Nice to meet you as well, Lexus. I like for Leo's poem. Do you think that you could find a way to incorprate avalances in Adelle's poem?
I meant to write I like the idea for Leo's poem. Sometimes my thought move faster than my fingers. :)
I know what you meant, haha. Good, a love one should be pretty simple! I will do it once I get home. Hmm, what do you mean by avalances?
Ummmmm.....the avalance thing was because I was inspired by a song that I heard earlier called Avalances by A Fine Freany, and the video for that song and another song gave me the inspration for Adelle's backstory, actually.
Adelle's family is rich, but she wishes that they weren't because she feels like it's suffocating her because her parents have hired her a bodyguard and give her all of these crazy rules that basicly dictate her entire life. So, she likes to wander around a lot wrapped up in a blanket like the one in the Avalances video.
So, Adelle feels like all of the rules that her parents gave her are like walls, and Adelle's parents are giving her more rules, so she feels like those walls are crumbling down on her like an avalance. But if you can't incorparate the avalances, then that's fine.
Let me just say, I am so glad to have met a guy who can appreciate the wonders of A Fine Frenzy. I love the song Now Is The Start. And anyways, I watched the video for Avalanches. How interesting! I like the idea for Adelle, it seems to fit the name, eh? Okay, so I will do my very best to include something about avalanches! Okay, a love poem for Leo and a poem about Adelle being controlled and going to the Valley and finding a bit of release, an escape!
I see the couples on the street,
I watch them act so carelessly.
Taking advantage of being in love
when that's all I ever dream of.
I wonder how it feels to look in someone's eyes,
to sing them sweet little lullabies.
I wonder what it's like to take a girl's hand
and tell her how lucky you are to be her man.
In the movies everyone is inclined to their high school love,
but me, I've never had one, I need help from above.
I'll find the one when her eyes really glow,
when I feel the electricity and her heart starts to show.
From time to time I'll whisper in her ear
that I will love her for everyday of every year.
I'll treat her like the angel that I know she's going to be,
and tell her how beautiful she is to see.
I'll think of her whenever she's not around,
I'll look her pictures when life gets me down.
We'll be that couple on the street
that people can only wish to be.
I admit this patience is starting to get to me,
but when she's found she'll be the air that I breathe.
Until I find her I'll continue to be a hopeless romantic,
and drown out my thoughts of love like I am holding them in the Atlantic.
Okay, so that's what I came up with for Leo. Is there anything that you'd like me to change? And if there is something that you'd just like to change yourself that's okay, too! I hope you like it.
It's pushing down hard on my chest
and all I can do is try to catch my breath.
Been this way for such a long time
you think you're a quarter and I'm a dime.
I get beat step by step, but you just wait, you'll get what you get.
I used to have hope for the hopeless,
but that's no more for life has only become a chore.
The sky is starting to grow black,
but I am not afraid, I don't take a step back.
I think this is my chance to be free,
to get away from the rules and finally be me.
The shadow engulfs my body and the crows caw in harmony.
Then, the avalanche begins to crumble and fall on top of me.
I guess I was right that there is no hope,
because all I am is attached to your rope.
I bet you're happy to see my pain,
you know my life is a game in which you love to play.
I try to get up and away from this mess
the stress holds me down and whispers, 'Take a rest.'
But I can't do that, I taste the grey in my life
and now I am starting to think twice.
I won't disobey you because that's not who I am,
but I am going to give you the avalanche.
Here mom and dad, please take it.. a gift from me to you.
You get to have all the things that you've put me though.
There is Adelle's poem! I really hope that you like this. I tried very hard to convey her life in here. If there is anything you want changed just let me know, okay?
There is nothing that I want you to change! Both of these poems are completely brillant! And, it's nice to find somebody who just likes the same kinds of music that I do. Everybody that I know only listens to either pop or country. Also, on your profile, I saw that one of your favorite qoutes is "They think they know my thoughts, but they don't know the least, if they listened to the words they'd find the meassage that's beneath.. but it goes in one ear and out the other."
Did you come up with that yourself? It's sound poetic.
Oh good! I am so happy that you liked them! I am very excited to see how this turns out. You're a great writer so it will be wonderful. And I know, people tend to not like the music that I love. Haha. And I wish I came up with that, haha. Cage The Elephant wrote that in one of their songs called In One Ear. It's one of my favorites by them. But, my absolute favorite by them is called 'Shake Me Down'. Maybe you will like that song. Their lyrics are brilliant!
Okay! thank you for the complament! :) You are also a completely brillant writer, Lexus! Also, the first chapter should be up Tuesday night at the latest.
Alright, I can't wait to see it! Let me know when I need to write more for you or if you need any help! Talk to you soon!
Okay@ I will!
OkaY! I will do that.