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CD's...with prizes!!

Allicat001 posted this thread...
Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:54 pm

Hey guys, I’ve noticed that people here are hungry for prompts and CD’s to do lately, and I have yet another prompt for you guys to write about…with prizes included!  But before we get to that, here’s what you have to do:
Write a story, in 750 words or less, starting with these opening lines:
“I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before stepping forward.  This was it.  My last chance.  I knew what I had to do and I had to do it now.”
 
I will be reading all entries and will be picking the three best entries to receive prizes
1st place: I will critique 3 of your articles and rate 3 articles
2nd place: I will critique 2 of your articles and rate 2 of them
3rd : I will critique 1 of your articles and rate 1 of them.
The deadline is when I receive 10 entries, or on February 15th, 2013, whichever comes first.  Good luck and happy writing! :)

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MidnightFire replied...
Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:19 pm

I'm so excited! I LOVED this prompt! here you go :) :
 
 
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before stepping forward. This was it. My last chance. I knew what I had to do and I had to do it now.  The edges of the world grew dark, my vision tunneled, focusing in on one thing.  My target.  I wanted to make a difference, so this was it.  There were voices, noises, slaps on the back, and other congrats and good lucks.  But they wouldn’t last for long.  The man I am supposed to kill I am going to save.  As I’m rushed through debriefing, a quick training with my materials of usage, and other nonsense that all blurs to nothing, I only think of the face of this man. 
Then I’m alone. 
My branch of government, the FIA, the link between the FBI and the CIA, handles some of the top level missions.  But this is personal.  It’s an unwritten rule that the night before going on a mission, you lock yourself away with only your mission file and other information associated with your task.  That is what I do.  After sneaking a key to an empty cell in the basement, I lock myself in and focus in.  
Everything disappears, everything, but this man.  I try to sift through and focus on the reports, the information, the file, the words.  It’s impossible.  The only thing that can keep my attention is the only thing that I will give my attention to.  His picture.  My eyes stare blankly at it for hours, my mind silent, absorbing every wrinkle, every frizzed up hair. 
This is not normal for me.  This is not me.  This is more than me and I know it.  A deep breath shudders through me, my concentration breaking.  The muscles in my back twitch, I can’t get unfocused, or it will happen.  For a moment a red haze fills my vision, then the memory starts up.  I shove it down.  NO.  This is my chance and I may never get it again.  I refocus, this time on the file, on my assigned mission. 
He’s part of a group that recently has threatened the major world leaders, he’s one of the top dogs.  The other leaders and him that are to be assassinated have been ‘volunteered’- volunteers have requested to do the job, some for their love of their country, love of their job, or something personal- and are all to be assassinated at the same time, end the whole disaster in one strike. I am to enter his hotel as fake help, and when bringing his drink, poison him. 
But there’s more than what is in the file.  He’s tortured me, he’s killed my loved ones, he’s threatened other loved ones, and he’s caused much pain to me, my kind, and so many others.  This isn’t in the file, though it still happened.  Yet there’s more still.  He’s a father, he’s a husband, he’s a loved one, he’s a pained one, and so much more.  I would love to kill him in the worst ways possible.  But that’s not what I’m to do, I am to love and forgive as my religion says.  I hope I have the strength.  I hope it’s enough
Time’s up.
The cut happens in three hours.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath before stepping forward. This is it. My last chance. I know what I have to do and I have to do it now.  I have to save a life I hate to prove my forgiveness.

Lord give me strength.

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Ella_Rose replied...
Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:26 pm

I close my eyes and took a deep breath before stepping forward. This is it. My last chance. I know what I have to do and I have to do it now.
"Well how did you get out?" Max sneers.
"Your not as swift as you seem."I say. Adam and Aaron are slowly coming up behind them. I want to make him pay. He's hurt Ella to many times.
"Really?" Jess questions, "Aaron Adam I know your there. Right behind us with those flare guns in your hands like you could actually hurt me." Adam freezes. She laughs. Whatever is going through Adam's mind he needs to snap out of it.
"Oh Shane your so naive," Max cackles coming closer. He reminds me of dad, doing this."This is much bigger than you. All of you. That girl was a small price to pay." Was. Ella's dead. He killed her. I run at him, putting all my weight into it. He moves quickly, cackling.
"We won't carry it through Shane but it will be done." Jess snarls. They both quickly bite down on something. This time when I tackle Max I bring him down. I'm on top of him the cheesy grin still frozen on his face. I take the knife off my side and i'm ready to do it.
"Shane," Adam's steely hand grasps my hand. "I want to just as much as you do. Ella is alive. I won't stop you but keep her in mind while you do it."
"She's alive? Your certain?"
"Positive."
"Then I can't. This is his fault but if she's alive-"
"You couldn't of in the first place Shane." Aaron says knowingly.
"I know," I say standing. Max's breathing slows to a stop.
"They're dead." Adam points out.
"I honestly don't care." I say quietly.
I didn't do it. Well, more I couldn't. If Ella's alive I won't go to that extremetity. And if i'm being realistic I know I never could of in the first place

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Allicat001 replied...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 6:41 pm

Both entries are great so far!  I'm extending the deadline until February 22 if anybody else wants to enter! :)

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Feb. 16, 2013 at 7:02 pm

An altered selection from another one of my stories:
 
Hardigan's vengeful hand pressed tighter against my throat with each breath that shook my body. The dust clouding my face began to drift into my eyes and obscure my vision. A hacking cough made my shoulders tremble and my back arch into a painful bend. The rock of the cave felt cool, like wet moss seeping into the back of my neck.
"You don't want to do this," I choked through my cracked lips.
"Silence!" Hardigen drove his sword point into my throat, and I tilted my neck backwards to avoid its point. "I have waited too long for your life to be in my hands. Today, our differences must be settled. Today, I must triumph for eternity."
"There is a fine line between ambitious and power hungry," I whispered calmly. "I would advise you not to cross it."
He chuckled. "Speak for yourself, Syrah." and adjusted his sword-point, and I winced in agony.
"It runs much deeper than that," I hiss. "This feud begins the day my innovations in swordplay proves more useful than the historical techniques you had taught me never to stray from."
"It begins the day you fell in love with that Mafu."
I shook my head. "I doesn't matter where our rivalry begins, for it will end tonight, and I will succeed in toppling your wall of power, whether or not I witness my victory."
"Until one of us is dead, there can be no victory!" Hardigan lunged forward, and I ducked beneath his sword, barreling into him and sending us rolling to the edge of the cavern. I pulled myself from his iron fists and sprawled on the heated stone, my limbs screaming for me to stop.
 
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before stepping forward. This was it. My last chance. I knew what I had to do and I had to do it now.
 
I lauched myself at Hardigen like a rifle bullet at a stag, and I felt satisfaction swell in my exhausted limbs as we stumbled over the precipice and the wind rushed past my head. Before you set out on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. A half-smile creeps onto my lips. In this abyss of shadows, there will be no graves dug tonight. And the darkness below stretched its talons to swallow us up forever.
 
 

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Allicat001 replied...
Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:45 pm

Hey guys, here are the results for this CD contest!
First Place: MidnightFire—I loved how you described your protagonist’s emotions!
Second Place: AthenaMarisaDeterminedbyFate—Your imagery was amazing!
Third Place: Ella_Rose—I loved the suspense you put into it!
Good job guys and keep writing! :)

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MidnightFire replied...
Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:09 pm

YAY! thank you :), good job guys.

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