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Plz read. I'm trying something new.

ZaylieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Dec. 1, 2012 at 5:58 pm

                             The Beginning
                                   (Chloe)





 




If I could take everything back I would. I never wanted this to happen, but everything happens for a reason. Or so I'm being told. I guess I should take you back awhile.




 




“You're stupid and have no purpose to me what so ever!” My adoptive mother yelled at me. I felt like crying, but I knew that was the last thing I should do at this moment in my life. She looked like she want to hit me but held it all back. “You're the reason he's drin.king!” She was referring to my adoptive dad. “Why do you feel the need to sleep around, Chloe?” It's not like I really want to it just happens. Well I guess it does take two. “Now you're telling me you're preg.nant! What are you thinking, keeping the baby? Your not even 17 yet! You've got your whole life ahead of you!” Yelling for her was to natural, because she could go on like this for hours and hours without a blink of an eye. Scary I know.




 




That's not where my story begins. It begins four mouth earlier, with a phone call. The phone call that started it all.




 




“Hey Dakota, it's me.” I said, my voice shaky. I had to tell him, I had no other choice if I did then I'd choose that one right now. Because telling the guy I love that he's going to be a father and we've only been together one month was hard to do. I didn't know how he was going to react, but I wasn't expecting the way he reacted.




 




“Chloe, what's wrong babe?” He said, his voice anything but worried. I don't know why I put up with this but, he's cute, and smart. He did care, but I must have interrupted him or something.




 




“Don't be angry please, I wasn't expecting this to happen. I can't do anything about it either. It is what it is.” I said, trying to hope I wouldn't have to say it that he would just understand what I'm trying to say but that was a long shot as usual. You can't blame a preg.nant girl for trying right?




 




“Chloe just spit it out already, I'm in the middle of doing something.” I knew it and now he was angry. This wasn't the time to tell him, but if I didn't tell him now then I was afraid that I wouldn't tell him at all.




 




I took a deep breath and said, “Dakota, your going to be a father.” I said trying to sound as happy as I could I was 16. Dakota didn't say a word, I thought he'd hung up. “Dakota?” I asked.




 




“I'm here... Can I talk to you later?” He asked.




 




When I responded I tried to hid my disappointment. “Sure I supposed you can.”But I couldn't let him go and I couldn't hid the disappointment in my voice.




 




"Chloe, I'm at practice what do you want me to say? That I want to keep the baby. That would ruin my life. It would ruin your life Chlo, you can't go through with this. I would love to have a baby with you, but not now." That's what I expected but this is what I got instead.




 




"Chloe, I love you, and I love the baby. It's up to you what you do. But whatever you do just tell me please." I stopped breathing I couldn't breath. I couldn't believe what I had heard come out of his mouth. "Chlo, I've got to go back to practice. I'll be over in two hours."




 




"Okay, see you then."




 




"We'll go to dinner. You need to eat." Dakota said in a worried tone.




 




"I know I've just been worried."




 




"Well I've been worried about you."




 




"Yeah, I know, I get that but being worried for me is effecting the baby." I said. "Well you need to go back to practice."




 








"See you in two hours."






 






"Bye, love you, babe." I was sad to be letting him go. But I had to find something that was cute and didn't show my baby bump.






 






"Love you too, Chlo."






 






When I got off the phone with him. I went straight to my closet there was nothing. I had stuff I could wear to hid my baby bump, but nothing that was cute. I had thrown everything out of my closet when I had finally found it. The dress. Dakota and Kat had bought me for my birthday.






 






I pulled it out and put it on. Then headed to the bathroom to do my make-up. By the time I'd finished with all of that Dakota was at the door.






 






"You look amazing," he said, but he told me that in the morning too.






 






"Thanks, babe. Where are we going for dinner?" I asked.






 






"Well we are celebrating, but no drinking. I'm making you dinner." I stopped dead in my tracks. I had been asking him to make me dinner for ages.






 






"So I had to become preg.nant to get you to make me dinner? If I'd known that I would have soon." I said joking.






 






"You know this happened for a reason. I don't know it yet, but it's going to show up at some point." Dakota said, I kissed him. It was the first time in awhile.






 






"You know just the right thing to say and when." I said.



 

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ZaylieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 1, 2012 at 6:05 pm

 Shocking News

(Katarina)
 
It comes with out saying that when you get news about something you hope it's not bad news. Even though it always seems like it is bad news. So this news was no different. I knew Chloe had something that was bothering her. She just wouldn't tell me and she tells me everything.
 
The news wasn't like she was dying, or that she had some sickness no one had ever heard of or anything.  It was just something that was going to ruin her life. She was going to keep the baby!
 
I know that would be a good thing normally but she was only 16. This wasn't normal. Okay well it is normal. I'm not supposed to know how to deal with this stuff so why is she telling me all of this stuff. I'm not a person with all the answers.
 
"UGH!" I yelled about to lose it all.
 
My mom came to knock on my door. "Sweetie is everything okay?" She asked worried that I was about to lose everything and do something really stupid.
 
"Yes, mom." I lied. She loved Chloe. Chloe was like a daughter to her. There were times that she would do things for Chloe that she wouldn't do for. Like buy her clothing that was expensive.
 
"If you want some soup for lunch it's done." She said and walked off. I turned on my dock with my iPod plugged into it. Eminem blared from the speakers.
 
"Katarina!" My mom called about a hour later. "Phone!"
 
"Who is it?" I yelled getting up out of my bed unwillingly.
 
"Chloe."
 
I ran to get the phone. If it was Chloe then I had to take it even if I really didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. I just wanted to cry. My best friend was preg.nant and I could do anything about.
 
"Chloe you okay?" I asked quickly.
 
"No, my dad just died." She cried.
 
"I'm so sorry." I didn't know what to say. I couldn't think I couldn't even cry. These past few months have been crazy. One of my ex's had hung themselves' about a month ago. Everyone thought that I was emotionless because I didn't cry when it was announced to the school.
 
"Can I come over?" She asked.
 
"Sure, Dakota going to drive you?"
 


"Yeah, I think so. You want to meet at the park?"


 


"I don't think that's a good idea." I said, usually we went there to drink. Seeing as she was preg.nant it wasn't a good idea. I didn't want to make her mad by dri.nking in front of her. Also I kind of wanted time with Chloe alone. Dakota has had her for months to his self and I would like her for a day. I don't think that was to much to ask.


 


"Oh, yeah. Okay then I'll just have Dakota drop me off." She said, there was a sadness to her voice. It wasn't coming from the loss of her dad though. It was as though being apart from Dakota was about to kill her and what was growing inside her.


 


"Okay see you soon." I didn't have to ask my mom she just knew that Chloe was coming over. She didn't care. It could have been 2 a.m. and my mom would have let her come over.


 


"How long until she gets here?" My mom asked.


 


"30 minutes I think," I told her.


 


"Okay, is your room clean?" She asked. "And bathroom?"


 


"Yes mom."


 


"Good. You're free to go now."


 


I went back up stairs to my room to wait for Chloe, but it soon became hard so I continued to clean more and more until the doorbell rang. I ran down the stairs to answer the door but my mom had already answered it. Chloe was taking off her shoes slowly and carefully.


 


It seem like every movement she did was slow and careful. She made it all look graceful too. I couldn't believe how much she had changed in the past few months that I hadn't seen her. She had a baby bump that you could only see if you knew she was preg.nant.


 


It wasn't something I really liked. But it is what it is. I couldn't change her decision to keep the baby. I would have liked it if she would give it up for adoption, but this wasn't my chose, it was her's.
 

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ZaylieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 2, 2012 at 1:31 pm

The Lose    
(Chloe)
 
My adoptive father dri.nks a lot. I know this can cause illness, but I didn't think it would kill him this soon. As I got into the car to Kat's house my mind was spinning out of control everything I was feeling no longer seemed to matter. My father had died. He was dead. I would never see him again. Sure he wasn't fun to be around. Yes, we're better off without him, but it still doesn't change the fact that he's dead. My mind just couldn't grasp that. It was as though it was a concept that was beyond anyone's conception.
"You're worrying again." Dakota said. He'd been taking good care of me these past few months. He made me dinner most nights. He was going to be a great father. A lot better than my father was to me. As long as he stayed out of jail. It's not like he's a bad guy. He just well gets into trouble a few to many times.
"I know and I'm so sorry, babe. I just can help it." It was true. I believe I had a right to worry.
"You'll make me worry with all your worrying." He said trying to make me laugh, but now wasn't the time for making me laugh. I was sad and upset of everything that had happened.
"Well I'm sorry." I said, not knowing what else to say at this point in time. It was just really awkward car ride and I could wait to get to Katarina's house. Even if that meant facing her mom. I knew that her mom didn't know that I was preg.nant yet. I was afraid that this was going to be the visit that I would have to tell her I was preg.nant.
He didn't say anything else until we got to Katarina's. Thank God. I was about to kill him with all the small talk he was doing.
"Be safe," He said before kissing me goodbye.
"I will." I told him.

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KateyKatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm

It's good and realistic, because somewhere out there this most likely has happened to someone just like chloe. What do you think of mine:
 
 
 
A delicately sweet breeze cradles her face as she stands out in this night, alone. She faces the east because though she knows she’ll never see another sunrise, she can’t bear to face the definite nature of the west. The depthless midnight skies soar over her and the knuckles pressed against her lips don’t matter when she sees this open land in front of her that used to be so beautiful. She has a choice to make, and now—when she is alone and with only herself to consult—is the best time to make it. This winter wonderland is sprinkled with ash and spattered with blood, the same blood that is still oozing from the deep slash in the person's pale neck at her feet. The rest of the clan move on without her, tramping slowly through the snow past fallen chimneys and burnt trees into the remains of the village, checking to be sure there are no survivors to tell the tale of horror from this starry night.
Her love approaches, the catalyst to all of this, or was it her all along? That night, the first night she looked into his eyes, as an immortal, she cried and cried and cried. Her delicate heart shaped face, cracked into the very picture of brokenness, and she wept, her hands groping at her face and at her shoulders and at her ribs, her fingers curled and not knowing what to do, her forehead creased and contorted and her eyes slashes of red tears that trickled through soaked and matted eyelashes. Her stomach shook and quivered as she curled herself around it, the shame of tonight’s acts coming down upon her in one fell swoop.
These rolling, gray clouds above me pound…and my heart pounds with them. Rhythmically, now, the memories come—voices scream and spirits roar in rejoicing fire. Blood spills and sterling passion rises. Hearts cry out and sacrifice is offered joyfully and love arrived before hate ever did and tears slip, and hearts break for all they’ve ever known and wanted and hearts give when there is nothing left to give. Only the thunder that threatens to rain down from the heavens commands her every heartbeat. Her knees collapse to the ground and a ragged sob escapes her throat as her lips meet the timeless, rich, precious blood oozing from her victim’s throat. The blood consumes the man’s spirit, and as his body lays here, her heart is flying to unknown heights.
Later, long after the hunt when all evidence had been eradicated from the small village, they returned to their current haunt, a crumbling castle on the crumbling cliffs of a precipice. Though the walls were in much disrepair, the cellars were usable enough, and kept out the burning sunlight that threatened our existence. We had transformed what remained of the dark, damp cellars into practically an underground labyrinth. Tunnels led to individual rooms, which offered the best of the circumstances. How did this happen? When did her life become a cycle of hunt, kill, feed, and flee?  She turned slowly as she felt her attention being drawn to the dresser in the corner of her room, where sat a journal that held the memories of a different girl, a different time…

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KenyaLove41This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

your story was interesting but there were some things that i noticed. For one whaere is this story going? Chloe's pregant, her boyfriend supports her, her dad dies and then....? i don't understand where this story is really supposed to go it just seems like your telling the facts of someone's life without any real plot. Secondly, i was really confused when you introduced the part about Chloe's dad dieing. that seemed to come out of no where and since the readers didn't know much about her dad and chloe herself didn't seem to care for him that much the death seems sudden and random and very confusing. Also,  some of your dialouge was a bit forced and meaningless. Finally this story was kind of confusing and it could be alot better if you could've provided alot more clarity.

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ZaylieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

As I think back to the time when my dad first hit me, I shutter with the though of it all. I couldn't think straight. I didn't understand why he was doing this to me. What had I done wrong and why wouldn't he tell me what I'd done. It left bruises for days. I didn't dare tell my mom. I didn't know how she would react but I knew it would involve a lot of yelling.

He had hit me over and over again. Left mark after mark. I was so scared that I couldn't even scream. I knew deep down screaming wouldn't help it would only cause him to hit me more. Twisted I know, but soon he started to breath on me and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. It smelled horrible, it made me want to gag.

I shock my head as I rang the door bell, but still couldn't get the images out of my head. They were clouding my brain. I remembered the pain, the smell and shuttered from the pain. It was as though it was happening all over again. I know I should be sad that he was dead but that wasn't the last time he ended up hitting me. It was just the first.

Kat's mom opened the door and I slowly walked through it. I must have looked strange, but if I did she didn't say anything. Soon Katarina was right next to her. My head was still filled with all the memories of my father. I just wanted them to go away.

The second time was worse. He hit harder than the first time. The smell was stronger than the last. There wasn't a way to avoid the smell of the alcohol. It was all around him. It was on his clothes and on his mouth. I saw the bottles all around him. I think there were about six bottles that were laying around empty. I wasn't sure if he'd drank all of them today or they were here from a while ago.

It took me longer than usually to take off my shoes, I knew that Kat had noticed. She probably thought I was just being careful because of the baby. Whatever she thought she couldn't know it was because I was thinking about my father, my dead bastard of a father beating me. But I sure wish I was thinking whatever she was because it would have been better than this.

As my father had struck me I shutter, this seemed to make him even more mad. He hit me again but harder. I just wanted this to stop. I shut down my whole body. I'd gotten good at this when my mom would start yelling her lectures at me. If she wasn't yelling them at me then well maybe I would have listened. It was over in what seemed to be hours or years. But it was finally over.

"Chloe, you hungry?" Katarina's mom asked. She was like a mother to me. A better one than what I had right now. I was thankful for that everyday that I lived.

"I'm fine." It was the truth, all I could about was the smell of alcohol on my fathers breath and I couldn't help it. I ran to the bathroom. The one upstairs, Katarina's bathroom. I fell to the ground next to the toilet and puked. First signs of morning sickness.

Katarina was soon next to me holding my hair. "Thanks." I murmured and puked again. I couldn't remember the last time I puked. But I don't remember it being this bad. The taste was horrible. I hadn't eaten anything so far today so what could I even be puking up. It didn't matter I was still puking.

"Morning sicknesses is a bitch." Both our heads snapped to the door way there stood Kat's mom. Perfect as ever holding a toothbrush and smiling. "This is going to be a big change for you." She said. Almost making me wonder if I could still go through with all of this. "Here's a toothbrush. Katarina do you have a toothpaste?" She asked.

"Yes, mom." Kat said.

"Thanks." I said and she left. "How did she know."

"I don't know."

"Oh well." I stood up and went to brush my teeth when I felt that wave of nausea again. I went back to the toilet and puked up blood this time.

"Chloe, are you okay?" Katarina asked me.

"I think so." I puked again and more blood. I didn't know what to do.

"Chloe are you sure your okay?" She asked me again.

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ZaylieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

As I think back to the time when my dad first hit me, I shutter with the though of it all. I couldn't think straight. I didn't understand why he was doing this to me. What had I done wrong and why wouldn't he tell me what I'd done. It left bruises for days. I didn't dare tell my mom. I didn't know how she would react but I knew it would involve a lot of yelling.
 
He had hit me over and over again. Left mark after mark. I was so scared that I couldn't even scream. I knew deep down screaming wouldn't help it would only cause him to hit me more. Twisted I know, but soon he started to breath on me and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. It smelled horrible, it made me want to gag.
 
I shock my head as I rang the door bell, but still couldn't get the images out of my head. They were clouding my brain. I remembered the pain, the smell and shuttered from the pain. It was as though it was happening all over again. I know I should be sad that he was dead but that wasn't the last time he ended up hitting me. It was just the first.
 
Kat's mom opened the door and I slowly walked through it. I must have looked strange, but if I did she didn't say anything. Soon Katarina was right next to her. My head was still filled with all the memories of my father. I just wanted them to go away.
 
The second time was worse. He hit harder than the first time. The smell was stronger than the last. There wasn't a way to avoid the smell of the alcohol. It was all around him. It was on his clothes and on his mouth. I saw the bottles all around him. I think there were about six bottles that were laying around empty. I wasn't sure if he'd drank all of them today or they were here from a while ago.
 
It took me longer than usually to take off my shoes, I knew that Kat had noticed. She probably thought I was just being careful because of the baby. Whatever she thought she couldn't know it was because I was thinking about my father, my dead bas.tard of a father beating me. But I sure wish I was thinking whatever she was because it would have been better than this.
 
As my father had struck me I shutter, this seemed to make him even more mad. He hit me again but harder. I just wanted this to stop. I shut down my whole body. I'd gotten good at this when my mom would start yelling her lectures at me. If she wasn't yelling them at me then well maybe I would have listened. It was over in what seemed to be hours or years. But it was finally over.
 
"Chloe, you hungry?" Katarina's mom asked. She was like a mother to me. A better one than what I had right now. I was thankful for that everyday that I lived.
 
"I'm fine." It was the truth, all I could about was the smell of alcohol on my fathers breath and I couldn't help it. I ran to the bathroom. The one upstairs, Katarina's bathroom. I fell to the ground next to the toilet and puked. First signs of morning sickness.
 
Katarina was soon next to me holding my hair. "Thanks." I murmured and puked again. I couldn't remember the last time I puked. But I don't remember it being this bad. The taste was horrible. I hadn't eaten anything so far today so what could I even be puking up. It didn't matter I was still puking.
 
"Morning sicknesses is a bit.ch." Both our heads snapped to the door way there stood Kat's mom. Perfect as ever holding a toothbrush and smiling. "This is going to be a big change for you." She said. Almost making me wonder if I could still go through with all of this. "Here's a toothbrush. Katarina do you have a toothpaste?" She asked.
 
"Yes, mom." Kat said.
 
"Thanks." I said and she left. "How did she know."
 
"I don't know."
 
"Oh well." I stood up and went to brush my teeth when I felt that wave of nausea again. I went back to the toilet and puked up blood this time.
 
"Chloe, are you okay?" Katarina asked me.
 
"I think so." I puked again and more blood. I didn't know what to do.
 
"Chloe are you sure your okay?" She asked me again.  
 
 


Surprises


(Katarina)


 


I never thought we would get the knew we did when we went to the hospital. I wish I hadn't been there. For all I know I could have stayed home, but I was on her contact list well my mom was but I was there too. So I had to be there.


 


I took in a deep breath and then let it out. I couldn't get over that she was going into surgery. This couldn't be right! She was fine just a second ago so why isn't she now? My mind just would not except this. It wasn't capable of excepting such a thing. What if they couldn't save the baby what if.....


 


My mind when blank when they called my name and my mom's. We walked slowly to the desk. I took in another deep breath.


 


"Are you here mom?" The women asked. My mom thought a moment before answering.


 


"Yes," I couldn't believe it she lied.


 


"Well here are some papers." The nurse handed her a stack of papers. "Please fill them out. She just went into surgery."


 


"Okay," My mom said taking the papers from the nurse. Once we sat down she handed me her phone. "Call her mom and ask if she can spend the night."


 


I called knowing I wasn't going to have a calm conversation so I went outside. I took a deep breath and pressed send.







 

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ZaylieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

"I'm sorry but she can't spend the night!" Her mom yelled at me. I wasn't sure how this was going to work without telling her that her daughter was preg.nant. I took a deep breath.
"Please, let Chloe sleep over, we'll have her home by noon tomorrow." I said. Her mom didn't like me and I had no clue why. Was it because I went to a Christian School or what. But whatever it was it was stupid.
"She's going to do it anyways, so whatever. Just have her home as soon as possible." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "I'm tired of her taking off without permission so maybe telling her yes will do some good." She hissed. Even if she was mad she still was letting Chloe to sleep over.
"Thank you," I said and she hung up. And that was the end of the discussion.
I went back in and my mom had finished filling out the papers with a worried look on her face. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"The baby." For once in my life I saw my mother cry. She knew that the baby was going to ruin her life, but she knew how much she wanted this. And she wasn't going to be able to have what she wanted just like always. She just wanted something for once to be right.
It was understandable for someone that never got anything to have something right? So why couldn't she? Was it just impossible for God to even give her that? I guess it was. I took her cell and went through her phone. Dakota where are you? Then the phone buzzed. Dakota.
Babe where are you? You okay?
I replied, It's Katarina will you please call.
About four seconds later he was calling.
"Katarina? What's wrong?" He asked quickly before I could say anything.
"She..."
 "No....." He started crying. He cried for a while. "Is Chloe okay?"

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RainbowStriker replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:11 pm

It's well written but too far spaced

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