Teen Ink

Maria-Sophie posted this thread...

 
 
There is a point in life where you just can’t cry anymore. Where you just can’t depend on anyone, anymore.  I have surpassed that point by miles. I’ve been abused so many ways and so many times I stopped counting. He’s says I’m the most hated member of the family. That without him I would have no reason to live. I lay alone in my own pool of misery, trapped inside a cage, in a black room with only painful memories. Nobody understands the way I feel. They say they know me. How can you say you know me when I don’t even know myself? They say to try to find the good qualities in yourself but I can’t. It’s so hard to. Even if I try I can’t find any good things about myself. It feels so empty because all I find is the things I hate. Because that’s all I know…I hate myself.  I’m nice to everyone and I put on a fake smile… but what if one day I didn’t even try to smile… would anyone even notice? I’m drowning in the Lake of Torture so why doesn’t anyone grab my hand and pull me out? Why won’t anyone save me? Why won’t you help me?  Everyday it’s the same routine and every day I feel the same way.  I feel weak for feeling this way. It hurts the most when the person that made you feel so loved, so happy could make you feel unwanted the next day. The person you looked up to when you were younger pushes you away when you cry for help like they never knew you and you were never a part of their life.  I stopped trying. I stopped trying to let people into my life because I always get hurt at the end. I’m afraid to be happy because something goes wrong or someone gets upset.  I’m the most useless person I know.
I walk a path with no trail, a path that is covered with the snow of despair. But the sorrow that’s stabbing my heart makes my walk become a painful  trudge until my legs slowly gives out on me and all I can do is weakly crawl before, finally, I stop moving, stop breathing and all that’s left is my body laying cold and lifeless, dead and forgotten, on the vast snow.
 
So wat do you think please give me feedback and constructive criticism. Also may you tell me wat title i should i give it? Thx :)