Facebook Activity



Teen Ink on Twitter

Writers' Workshop Forums

Where teen writers share their work
   
RayynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Sept. 2, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Basic rules if you don't know: write a piece including the prompt I give. It can be as long or short as you want it to be, just post it as a comment when you're done. I will read and (slightly) edit it and critique if I feel like it--unless you say otherwise. This particular one you can use in a post on the actual site, but please say that I gave the prompt (it's kind of long). The prompt: "The earth mourned her death with a thunderstorm. It was an angry mourner, throwing things about in a tantrum and shouting that life isn't fair and it's always the good that die young."

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
MidnightFire replied...
Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:42 pm

I changed it from a girl who died to a boy, so here you go:
 
He sat alone in the dark alley, shivering slightly as cold rain softly ran down his soaked frame.  The rain was soft and quiet through the sky was raging with anger in the form of lightning.  The earth mourned his death with a thunderstorm. It was an angry mourner, throwing things about in a tantrum and shouting that life isn't fair and it's always the good that die young.  His eyes flashed in anger at the same time the sky did.  Just because Colt was suicidal doesn’t mean it was ok for him to die.  He growled and threw a punch onto the wall he was leaning against, strong enough to shake the ancient abandoned building to its foundations.  This wasn’t the first time a loved one had been taken from him, but it would be the last.  He’d make sure of that.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:13 am

This is enjoyable! I like your paragraph. Are you going to continue it and post on the site? I would be interested in reading it; good introduction.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
KenyaLove41This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:04 pm

Here is my reply:
When the rain fell the guests began to leave, heading back inside for the small reception, one by one until she was the only one left. Standing by her mother’s grave she watched as the rain fell. The small drizzle quickly became heavy pellets, battering the marble tombstone before its time. The earth mourned her death with a thunderstorm. It was an angry mourner, throwing things about in a tantrum and shouting that life isn't fair and it's always the good that die young. She watched as the rain became soaked up into the surrounding grass and let it soak into her skin too, the life giving water filing her empty soul.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Feb. 8, 2013 at 4:42 pm

KenyaLove41: I love the imagery you use in this. It gets through to me so well. C:

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
dontspeak.sing replied...
Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:08 pm

The earth mourned her death with a thunderstorm. It was an angry mourner, throwing things about in a tantrum and shouting that life isn't fair and it's always the good that die young. The good die young and the awful live rich and grow old, content with the evil that they have done to be where they are. The girl was sad and alone, swimming in a sea of hate and bitterness. She lived, loved, breathed, bled, saw, heard, felt. She was alive and loved by those who were afraid to speak. She was hit. She was teased. She couldn't see through the fog of hate. She cried through the hours of the sun and the moon, she bled at night, self-inflicted wounds oozing red thick liquid. She hurt herself as others hurt her, seeing no other escape than death. The Earth mourned her death with a thunderstorm.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Feb. 9, 2013 at 5:40 pm

Dontspeak.sing: your paragraph is very descriptive and I like that, but when you went to describe her life I didn't understand that it was talking about the girl who had died. Maybe if I read it more than once it would make more sense, but it would make it easier to read if I understood that the first time around, if you know what I mean.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
MidnightFire replied...
Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:41 pm

I don't think I will, but I've posted other CD-like clips about Colt's death on other threads here and there :)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Feb. 12, 2013 at 7:06 pm

Well, good work anyway. I like your style. C:

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback