I've read the Subway, and Aya is awesome. And I really want to read Crasp!!!!!!!!!! What do you think about Bella? Personally I find her hard to write, since I'm so much more like Dudley. But it is sorta fun to portray the world through eyes less jaded than Dudley's...
Thanks:) I've written some of the first chapter of Crasp, I don't know if I posted it here.
I think she sounds like a nice character--sometimes you need the simpler, sweeter, more innocent characters for a story.
Thanks Air =)
Here's another character...uhh...hmmm....ok xD two characters that go hand-in-hand
Sheik and Zelda are two average girls simply having fun and going through life...and getting revenge on a sleepover. The same night, they get kidnapped. Sheik writes their story starting a few months later and over the next eight months.
Sheik just wants to be happy. During the kidnapping, she's sarcastic and sassy and just wishes to fight her way out of there and save Zelda at the same time. After the kidnapping, it all comes down on her shoulders and she doesn't know how she's going to continue on with everything that happened spinning through her head.
Zelda is even more sarcastic and sassy than Sheik. She has something to say about everything and despite her small stature is willing to defend her best friend at all costs. Fiery, independent and innocent as can be, she's the perfect best friend for Shiek.Story: The Journal (all of which is on here, as AsIAm knows xD ).
butnotacrime, both those characters (the most recent ones) sound pretty interesting...and I'm totally not surprised one is a gymnast xD
Haha yeah, I can't help it, of all the character's I've written, Aya is definitely the most like me.
I know - she is really essential - for several reasons.
1. I want there to be some element of surprise for readers. Dudley knows EVERYTHING!!!! lol2. Dudley is just so jaded, and everything would be so complicated if he was telling the story. For example (and this isn't coming from the book), While Bella would say something like: "There was this new guy in school today - I think he liked me. He was cute too - blonde hair, pale blue eyes, and the sweetest smile. I wonder what grade he's in." Dudley would react: "I noticed Bella blushing in class today, and I looked over to see the new kid staring at her. He had pale blonde hair, blue eyes, and when he asked a question in class he had a Swedish accent. I'd bet anything he is an operative. I instinctively check for my gun."
Haha, I can definitely see why you need BelleXD
Let me try some more--oh and Felix, I think your characters sound very interesting. I'd write em an 8 or 9, honestly.
More from Crasp, shall we?
Gail is also fourteen/fifteen for most of the book, and has been best friends with Eliza since they invented the crasp. He detests cliches, which is one of the reasons he's never mentioned to Eliza how much he likes her. He's just hoped one day she'd wake up and smell the roses, but before she had the chance Lorne came to town. He basically steals any chance Gail had, and despite his charming exterior, Gail is suspicious of him from the start.
For personality: Gail is observant, likes to laugh and make others laugh, slightly nerdy, very nit picky and different.
Looks: Short and thin, with tousled chocolate brown hair, dark brown eyes, and glasses.
Thanks =) Gail and Eliza sound very interesting, too, so 7 or 8
Thank you. I'd do Lorne, but that would give too much away.
Haha xD I'm gonna try one more, just to see if I can get this without giving it away...
The story: Learning the Ropes Part 3: Artemis: Untied
Traumatized by her childhood and her father-figures, not knowing who her mother is or who she could trust, Artemis is glad when she's finally free to make her own decisions, though she's surprised to find that she's a Blade, as well (like Edana xD ). A few years later, she still hasn't gotten the hang of her powers or trust, although it got easier once they burned her father alive. One boy, Charley, tries to get her to admit she loves him, but she avoids him and doesn't give him a chance until he practically forces her to admit it...of course, then it's too late. After that, she goes off on a super-crazy mission...alone. Throughout this, groups of men keep attacking and trying to kidnap her and she tries to learn how to deal with talking to ghosts. She hopes the mission will bring the attacking men to an end, not knowing that it will change her life forever...and the lives of others.Personality: Reserved, innocent, careful, tough, and true to herself...she tries to be a kind, caring, honest, compassionate person, but sometimes it's harder than she thinks.
Okay, I'm going to do two more characters from Duty, so then I will have all four of my top characters open for review.
Piper: Piper is Bella's best-girl-friend (because no one can surpass Dudley overall), who Bella meets in science class when they are partnered due to Dudley's absence. She is a typical red-head: stubborn, smart, and fiery. She is fun, rebellious but well behaved (you know the type - they defy authority but never cross any serious lines), has a crush on Dudley at the beginning of the story, a little boy crazy, enthusiastic, as well as being a nice medium between Bella and Dudley - she is energetic and open, while being fairly unflappable and logical. She always thinks about others, and livens up any situation with her joy and energy.
Parker: Parker is a incorrigible joker. In fact, he joins the threesome by trying to hit Dudley (yes, military-instincted, fast-reflexed, body-guard Dudley) with a spit ball. This resulted in Dudley reacting out of instinct by spinning around and throwing a punch, accidentally breaking Parker's nose. Lucky for Dudley, Parker couldn't be serious enough to hold a grudge if his life depended on it, and soon the four of them are fast friends, and they do everything together. A little more on Parker: He's sort of short, thin with some muscle, dark hair, tan, blue-green eyes, and everlasting smile. He makes every situation funny somehow, always says the right thing, is unabashedly honest, and a total gentleman.
NOTES ON THE FOURSOME AS A WHOLE:
The three of them make a great team:
Dudley provides the "grunt", contributes wisdom beyond his age, and is always the one you can fall back on, because he can always hold people up and will never look down on you for your shortcomings.
Bella brings creativity, whole-heartedness, and general warm feelings to the table. She always sees the best in people, and gets along with everyone.
Piper is inquisitive and intelligent, so she is awesome at thinking up new solutions for problems. She never backs down, and is extremely honest, so she is a great person to have on your side.Parker is always in the mood for a laugh, acting as a stress-reliever and an ice-breaker. He helps everyone to solve their problems by not letting them get too serious and frustrated. He even has Dudley relaxing occasionally!
The group as a whole: 8 or 9. I don't feel like trying to rate them individually xD
haha I don't blame you Felix!
Hey, watcha think of Artemis VS Edana? (only asking cause it's the same story technically, lol)
They both sound like intriguing characters, though in completely different ways. Sort of ice and fire maybe....
Lmao, interesting....Artemis is the g.oddess of the moon and Edana means "little fire" xD
Heya--I agree with Felix's ratings AsIAm, and like her, I apologize, but I don't want to rate each one>_>
The MC from my latest short story, The Journal.
Kalie. Not counting the flashbacks, she's in her early twenties during the story. She's....quite a character. She doodles all the time, has short patience, reads at a school dance, is a horrible dancer, slips and falls on her butt in a puddle, isn't especially interested in solar panels, protects useless decorating committees, hates fighting and being wrongly accused, and is very observant and thoughtful.
In the story, after a fight with her long-time boyfriend-probably-going-on-husband Brian, she goes up into the spare room and, while looking for clothes, finds the journal she stopped writing in two years ago. Reading it reawakens memories of all of these moments, hours, days, they shared.
She gets embarrassed easily, is often quite sarcastic, and pretty decent at taking jokes.
I don't give a physical description, but in my mind, she's pretty.
I give an 8 :) She's got some common MC-in-a-romnace traits to her, with the occasional distantness and the lack-of-dancing-ability, and the finding-a-lonf-lost-diary/book thing has been done serveral times before. But I rated this well because I don't think these things have been done together, which could make this interesting :) My only question is, why would a girl who hates fighting be looking for clothes in her spare room after getting in a fight with Mr-super-good-BF? Anyway, nice character, just didn't get that part of the plot.
She's just looking for bedclothes. She doesn't want to stay in the room they share after fighting.
And people who have read that told me they really liked her character--I hope they weren't just sparing my feelings.
Oh, whoops, that last post was directed at Kalie. This is for AsIAm's people. 8 :) Individually, these characters would recieve probably a better rating, but since you put them together it just seems like they are too perfect. Each one of them has their own mechanism that can solve another's probably, and they just seem a little too well-oiled.