Teen Ink
teenink
TeenInk How would you rearrange this old cliche? "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" http://t.co/xTNZxcKYxK
Fri May 24, 2013 10:17am Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk "Thinking is the best way to travel." - The Moody Blues http://t.co/5jzE5kVJyB
Thu May 23, 2013 10:55am Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk If this is the ending of the story, what is the beginning? http://t.co/gRzPosYXRi
So far, I rate everyone about a 7 or 8...I really can't decide which. Thanks for the ratings on Edana =) even though I mostly put stuff about the relative plot...xD
To be more specific, Conners wife was in a cult and killed herself in the name of one of the gods (Either Yog-Sogoth or Cthulhu, I haven't decided yet), I wanted to do a story with Hp Lovecraft lore. But yeah, still cliche.
I talked about Edward in comparison to him b/c poor old Eddie is the "bad guy" who has to fight his instincts, culture, etc. etc. not to kill and feels bad when he does kill.
Asiam: I didn't really describe the plot Micah's in...here goes. He's not really technically the main character. This kid comes to his shop and buys a book, and eventually ends up back there looking for a job. Micah takes him on, and creepy things start happening b/c this secret society/cult is after the kid and the book. So Micah is more like the character who is dragged along for the ride; the kid is the main character.
I'd give Dudley a 7. He sounds interesting, like he has a lot of layers, but from what you said of the plot I could probably guess pretty much how it goes and how it ends.
Whoops! I forgot to give you guys a description of my characeter- bombs away!
Full name- Tanis (TAH-niss) Brigid Stuart
mini-biography- beleives herslef to be a mermaid, swims in a lake as often as she can steal enough time to get away. When she's in the lake, she has sliver and deep clue scales as a tail and her natural almond-skin covers the rest of her. Pleasnt face and hair, deep brown eyes and hair to match- wears makeup only on special occasions. Slender, 14 years of age. Wears only casual clothing expect when a certian event calls for sophisticated attire.
At the beginning of the story, she is unaware her already odd identlty has a twist to it. She's never seen herself in the mirror when she's transformed, so she doesn't realized that the scales that cover her when she's in water are not those of a fish- but rather a snake, a sea-serpent's scales to be exact.
Personality- When she's doesing tedious work, she's often distant because she knows her time would be better spent at the lake. She has maybe 3 very close friends, 10 in her inner circle, and gets along with most people because when she's with unfamiliar people, she tends to keep to herself. Every now and again, though, she suprises those around her by showing off her amazing wit. Her flaws include curiosity and hidden cawkiness.
So yeah, it's a common identity- mistke thing, but I've never heard of anyone writing about a half sea-serpent person at all, and especially not one who think's they're a mermaid, so there's my clain to originality. Is it valid?
Apocalyptigirl: I like your story idea, and I think your character fits perfectly into it, but it feels like I've read it before... I don't know why I feel that way though. Hmmm.... Just out of curiosity, what do you think is going to happen with my story?
I understand why you compared him, but just trust me when I say Jose is nothing like Edward.
Also, none of his kills have been to feed--they don't drink blood. They were...to kill.
I think I'd rate preechyteenager's a 9, for pure originality. Mermaid girls aren't something you see every day, not outside Disney. :P She sounds more interesting than ariel, anyway...more sav.age.
AsIAm: I'd predict that it would be a story about his journey to overcome his self-esteem issues, past traumas, etc. etc., and that in the end he'd succeed and get the girl.
Jerrod Carlton is an average seventeen-year-old boy attending high school. He is a little bit on the short side, and isn't exactly "cute", but not ugly either. He has sandy blonde hair and brown eyes, with really pale skin. He tends to be extremely sarcastic, and is even a little lazy, but he is a good person in general.
One day on his part-time job in a tiny corner grocery store, he discovers a girl trying to steal some pop tarts, and he stops her. From that day, she begins following him around, but never does anything until he goes up and talks to her himself. Later on he finds out that he is the only one that can see or hear this girl. It isn't long until both of them get caught up in a huge amount of danger. (Sorry, don't want to give anything away.)
Conner Marcus: I'd probably give him a seven. I think it's interesting that you'd make the main character someone in his thirties. He seems like he might be a little boring, and the main plot is a bit strange, but who am I to judge before I even read it?
Edana: I'd probably give her an eight. The story seems pretty interesting, though a little confusing at the same time (Like how she dies and comes back again). This is probably something I would read if I found it sitting on the shelves of a book store.
Micah: This is a very realistic character. I'd probably give him a nine just because of this fact. I have no idea what the main plot is, but I still really like the character.
Josalins: 8. He is a very original character, especially his appearance. It, personally, isn't my exact type of story, but I'm sure that plenty of others would enjoy it.
Dudley: I think he deserves an 8.5. He's a pretty realistic character, although the whole "used-to-be-fat-and-now-that-he's-not-he's-super-hot" thing has been used before, but I think it's still pretty good. I also think it's interesting that the story starts when he was eight, and ends when he's in his twenties. I've always enjoyed stories like that. You can really see how the character develops that way.
(Sorry, almost forgot this one!) Tanis: 9. Very original. I don't think this concept has ever been though of before, and the character is believable too. I would read it.
Apocalyptigirl: Yay for me - you're prediction is incorrect. :) Guess you'll have to wait and see. ;) ~Air~: Thanks! And I know the fat-to-hot thing is cliche, but that's not really what happens. He's pretty good looking after he loses weight, but not hot. And it's more of a health thing to be able to develop his role a little more, since his weight was holding him back and becoming dangerous than a look thing. :)
it's good to be wrong sometimes. ;) Reading the quick plot summary a 2nd time, it does sound a little DaVinci Code or National Treasure, but that's just the summary---the actual story isn't anything like those at all. If that's what you were thinking of.
hi, ummm.... Connor and Demetri sound realy cool... can you tell me what you think of my bad guy Drake. He's about 21 or 22 and has longish black hair. He's very smart does have a tendancy to let his anger get the better of him. He is strong but not like buff. He gets a strong joy out of nearly killing his little sister any chance he gets.
Apocalyptigirl: Yup - because now if you end up reading it you can be at least somewhat surprised. :) And that's not it. Hmm.... I know there is a book I've read where characters get or hide a powerful book and get the book-store-person into harm's way. Inkheart perhaps????
Tanis: 8 - she sounds unique! the only thing is it doesn't sound like she knows herself very well, which you can use to your advantage, but it can also work against you.
Jerrod: 9.5 - OMG he sounds awesome!!! I sooo want to read this story now!
Drake: 7 - That's a good base for a bad guy role, but he's a little too black and white. People are rarely purely evil, and even when they are, it is more fun to read when they are a remote character in a position of power (like Galbatorix in Inheritance), not everyday people like Drake. Try to make him multi-faceted, because if he only has one side to him (evil) you won't be able to make him a dynamic character.
I hated Inkheart; I couldn't even finish the first book. I just skipped ahead to read the ending, and was as disappointed as I was at the beginning. :P I have a question about Dudley: considering the name, have you read Harry Potter? Because Dudley in Harry Potter starts out super fat and then gets in shape for boxing and ends up super muscley. Just saying.
haha I loved Inkheart. And yeah, I am a HP addict, but the similarities you mentioned are as far as it goes, and my friend who suggested the name didn't even know what HP was. The idea for my story branched off of a RP my friend and I created, and in the RP (unlike the book) Dudley was sort of the happy-go-lucky lovable character who didn't take life seriously, and "Dudley" seemed to fit - then the name stuck. :)
This needs a bump so I'll put up my other main character. :)
When the story starts, Isabella Kingsire is about eight, and it goes until she's in her twenties, same as Dudley - she is just a little bit younger than him. She is medium hight, thin, pale during the winter but has a nice tan/blush during the summer, healthy looking, long black hair - overall she is very pretty, but she doesn't put much effort into it. She isn't very popular - she is kind of a nerd, and prefers to stick with Dudley as her main friend rather than find other friends. She is fun-loving, curious, mischievous, sensitive, caring, friendly and funny. She is ruled by her emotions (whereas Dudley reacts with his brain), and is very emotional. She is very energetic, and always throws her whole heart into whatever she does. She is the same on the outside as the inside, and doesn't hesitate to let people know exactly how she feels.
Even though she is the princess, she often depends on Dudley for wisdom and support.
How about a character from a short story of mine, and one from a book idea.
Aya--Aya is a fourteen year old girl, a gymnast from a small town, who winds up in NYC for her father's job over the summer, and possibly for life. She is pretty, although I don't give a physical description, and EXTREMELY sarcastic.
She didn't expect, on her first day there, to fall into the subway....
From The Subway, short story.
Eliza: For the largest part of the book, she is fourteen/fifteen. She is fairly pretty, with wavy blonde hair, hazel eyes and light skin. She is extremely short. Her best friend is Gail, and they've been best friends since they invented the crasp n third grade. But he is somewhat pushed aside when the new boy, Lorne, comes to town....
When everything with Lorne happens, a lot of her natural sweetness and playfulness go down the drain. But she doesn't rat him out, doesn't talk to anyone, tries to hide it, because she pities him.
