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We describe characters, and they get rated!

Jill-Layton posted this thread...
Sept. 26, 2010 at 8:06 pm

I'll start

The main character of the latest novel I'm working on is named Conner Marcus. I've been using Conner in any scene I write where I don't have enough time to think of character names. 

Anyway, Conner has black hair and dark blue eyes. He's thirty-two, and is rather short. He works at a newspaper agency.  Four years ago his wife Rachel went missing. Years later he went leafing though her stuff and found a large book with a strange leathery cover. He starts reading it, and suddenly, everything takes a turn for the worse. He starts having dreams, terrible dreams of dark cities covered with mildew, and he keeps seeing his wife.

[Internets to anyone who gets this is Lovecraftian based. Lot's of internets.]

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CallMeFelix replied...
Sept. 26, 2010 at 8:16 pm

ummm....I rate him about a 7 or 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.

 

Okay, my turn. The character is Edana...she's 16 when her aunt and mother get kidnapped and goes on a huge rescue mission during which she dies (and comes back, ofc) marries her long-time best friend, Dimitri, and discovers that she can communicate telepathically with a girl her age named Inpherno. Upon freeing them and returning, she trains for about a month until she must face a huge battle, the end of which comes down to Inpherno and Edana. Inpherno manages to switch sides and free her, and at the end Edana finds out the reality of her family tree.

That's Edana in a nut-shell...though there's a lot more to her (like the fact that she's part of a super-powerful group of humans called Blades, she's super-pale with lightning scars along her left side, and her hair is silver and blue).

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Jill-Layton replied...
Sept. 26, 2010 at 8:20 pm

I like the clever spelling of Inferno. I've never been good at writing huge battles, have you written one yet? I'd like to see how you take it.

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CallMeFelix replied...
Sept. 26, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Oh yeah...lots, small battles and big battles...I'm done with it lol, Edana's Part Two of that story...there's three parts total

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apocalyptigirl replied...
Sept. 26, 2010 at 9:43 pm

Let's see. Micah Thorn is the owner of a book and antique shop in historic England. He's half Je.wish, but no one knows that. He's also very cynical and bitter b/c his sister married rich and left him to take care of their sick mother, who is now dying. Also, his fiance was forced to break up with him by her father b/c he was too poor for her. He's tight with his money b/c he has to pay rent and doctor's fees for his mother, spending very little on himself. He has dark brown hair and gray-brown eyes, is 25 years old, and despite his cynicism can charm customers, cares for his mother, and has a kind spot (soft spot?) for the shop assistant.

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Jill-Layton replied...
Sept. 26, 2010 at 11:10 pm

I love the name Micah. It just sounds so nice. I'm saying it repeatedly right now. Really rolls off the tongue. Where can I read this?

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thepreechyteenager replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 6:26 am

Ok, so I'm really brutal when I rate charaters so you guys are gonna hate me but here are my thoughts anyway.

Conner Marcus- 6 -I like his slightly odd physicial characteristics, uncommon age, (to be the star of a novel) and occupation that isn't too commonly used.  I thought his mission with his wife was intriging, but a cliche.

Edana- 7 -points for an intracite plot line, (might be hard to pull off though, but that's not really my business) and some more for an odd complection.  Her age and the loved-ones-kidnapped as well as the marries-best-friend thing, plus the big battle are all very common plot lines, but oddly mixed together.

Micah Thorn- 8 -  I give this an 8 as long as it's not in the WWII time period.  If it was in WWII, thw whole secretly- 1/2-Je.wish thing would be a very common aspect of a character, (ie. Daniel Half Human)  I like that fact you gave him asome obvious bad characteristics but still made him likeable.

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butnotacrime replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 7:31 am

Hey! OK I'll do my MC from RACBAN.  K?

 

Josalins, called Jose by most everyone.  His name is Josalins because the way the Shanese' names are structured, it's their first name, a, then their last name.  Jose from the house of Lins.

 

He's a Shanese, a race formed by the dark g.od Shano for one purpose: to kill the GIfted Ones created by Anaia, his sister.  But due to Jose's parentage(which I will not go into) and some div.ine intervention, he is diffewrent than the others.  He has a particular skill at doing what he must, but rather than enjoying it, he loathes it, and wishes he could just stop, but he knows he would be killed.  But when he is sent after a strange, powerful, eerily beautiful Gifted One, he finds she is one too many...

 

That's just the beginning of the plotline:D AS for physical description, Jose is nine feet tall with pitch black skin and bright red eyes.  If it weren't for his height and coloring, he'd be handsome, with high cheekbones, a straight nose, broad forehead and full lips.

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apocalyptigirl replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 9:23 am

I think I'd give him a 6 for originality of appeareance, naming, and the alternate world that sounds pretty cool. But in terms of plot and him being the one good guy in a bunch of bad guys, he sounds pretty normal, actually kind of Edward-ish. :P Sorry to compare to Twilight, but that was just my impression...

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apocalyptigirl replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 9:27 am

Yeah, I rate characters pretty brutally too, and I agree with your ratings except that I'd switch Conner and Edana. And to answer your question about Micah, it's set in the 19th century.

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butnotacrime replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 9:37 am

Don't worry, I'm not offended.  But let me elaborate.

 

Jose isn't some pure good sa.int.  He's killed thirty girls.  But unlike the others, he actually feels bad about it.  The reason why, involving his parentage, came about due to Anaia's meddling, because it's all part of one of her plans.  And while he does feel very guilty, it's not like Edward-guilt. Ew.  No, he doesn't let it consume him, he still operates perfectly fine.  And Esa doesn't hurt...

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AsIAm replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 11:51 am

First, let me rate everybody else's:

Connor Marcus: 8 - I like how you took an average, perhaps slightly boring, character and changed his life in an unexpected direction.  So much better than having something strange happen to an already-unique person.

Edana: 8 - Sounds kind of like Eragon, but different enough to be good.

Micah: 9 - The character sounds really great, and technically that's what we are rating.  He sounds really real, and I like that he isn't evil or a golden boy - real people never are.  The plot though, as you described it, doesn't sound like a 9.  It sort of sounds like everyday drama, which is realistic but not always a real page-turner, if you get my drift.

Josalins: 9 - For both plot and character.  Your world you created is awesome, and has enough realistic details you feel like if you searched it on google, you could buy plane tickets and go visit.  Jose is also awesome - not at all like Edward.  Edward is sickly sweet - a complete goldenboy go.d-like character.  Jose is interesting because he is very much Shanese, with rough tendencies and a military nature, but he has scruples about his job.  One thing I really love about him is he doesn't WANT to have sympathy - making him different than most heros.  

 

And here is one of my two main characters - the one I like better. :)

His name is Dudley McGrahm, and when the story starts he is eight, but the series continues until he is in his twenties.  He has brown hair and brown eyes, and is VERY muscular because he is in the English Royal Guard, but until he is thirteen he is also EXTREMELY obese.  

He is kind, and always thinks of other people first.  He is also very duty-bound.  On the outside, he seems to have everything under control, and is always joking, as well as being very emotionally strong.  But on the inside, he is broken.  He cries himself to sleep at times, has nightmares about his troubled past, has internal conflict about what his duty really is, loves somebody he shouldn't, and has several other dark secrets.  He is a multi-layered character, but all anybody ever sees is his mask.

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butnotacrime replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 11:59 am

I'm going to have to rate Dudley an 8.5, because I haven't read this and that already made me want to.

 

I love how he's ob.ese, too many characters are super good looking and perfect.  I also love how complicated he is, how he puts up a facade but he really has so many problems.  I can already picture him--plus kudos for the name, Dudley is awesomenessXD

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AsIAm replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Thank you!  And I know - it is annoying how everyone is so perfect.  Once he loses about 100lbs, he is pretty typical tall dark and handsom, but even then he isn't that awesome looking, and has no sense of style.  And I'm glad you want to read it!  The first book makes him seem really happy and stuff most of the time, but that's because it is through the eyes of his best friend (Isabella - unfortunately I had already named her that, then Twilight came out, but I felt like I "knew" her too well to change it) so he seems really strong and happy, but that's because she is a bit shallow, and his mask really is that good.  Book two - partly in his perspective - is a bit of a rude awakening. lol  

TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO READ IT

My story is called Duty: To Heart

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butnotacrime replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Haha yeah I get what you're saying.  And don't worry about the name.  If anyone told me to change Jose, or Esa, or Ottie, or Arkaya's name, I'd have been like "Umm, NO!"

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AsIAm replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Yeah, I'm NOT changing her name.  Bella just fits her.  I just get tired of almost everything getting compared to Twilight on this site.  O_o

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butnotacrime replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 1:23 pm

I know! For instance, there's this one reference in I'm  Me and people just jumped on it.

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AsIAm replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 1:39 pm

It really bugs me.  I mean, I really didn't like the theme or characters of Twilight, but it was well written, and obviously lots of people like it, so what is wrong with a slight reference or similarity?  If we avoided anything that could remind anybody of a controversial story, we would have to stop writing.

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butnotacrime replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Exactly! I mean, it was a nonfiction piece, and all I did was make reference to a quote from Twilight, and people are like "Mentioning Bella ruined it." I mean,really?

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AsIAm replied...
Sept. 27, 2010 at 1:55 pm

*Sigh* Oh well, genius is often misunderstood. :)

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