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azacious posted this thread...
Oct. 16, 2013 at 2:00 pm

What if gravity decided to turn around?
I mean let’s face it, gravity must be tired
Exhausted, actually
Of constantly heading
Down…
                  Down…
                                    Down…
Towards the scorching hot center
Of the insignificant, spherical mass we live on.
 
What if one-day gravity had a change of heart?
What if it decided it wanted to reach for the stars?
                                                                                                         Literally.
We say gravity is -9.8m/s2
But I’m sure gravity is a positive guy
And that negative sign really brings him down
 
I guess gravity is just tired
Tired of constantly
Moving…
                  Pushing…
                                    Shoving…
And it’s resting
Conserving energy to eventually flip itself around.
 
Or maybe gravity feels responsible.
I mean if gravity changed its path
We could kiss our lives goodbye
As we float up towards our oxygen-less death.
 
I’d like to think that it’s the latter,
That gravity really does care about us.
But, don’t be surprised if one day
We meet while floating up through the sky.

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azacious replied...
Oct. 17, 2013 at 1:32 pm

If anyone has feedback it'd be appreciated. I'm also glad to provide feedback to others.

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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 23, 2013 at 5:00 pm

I’d like to think that it’s the latter, 
That gravity really does care about us. 
But, don’t be surprised if one day 
We meet while floating up through the sky.
 
I love how these lines sum the whole poem for the reader. 
 
At first I found this poem to be a little too prosaic for my taste. Nonetheless, I enjoyed how you spoke to the reader. And not in a condescending manner like most poets do. You explain gravity with clarity. This is essential for those, like myself, who don't like science or stuggle with it. (I do like science; it can be a hassle at times.) 
 
Furthermore, I love how you separated some of the words, like "Moving.../Pushing.../Shoving...". Not only is it enjoyable, it's appealing to the eye. Even though you're supposed to read a poem, you're first attracted to how it looks. It's somewhat e.e. cummings-esque. 
 
Overall, it is an enjoyable read with a thought-provoking idea. Very imaginative. It reminds me of a movie that came out not too long ago this year with Kirsten Dunst where one world was upside down and the other vice versa. 

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azacious replied...
Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:39 pm

Thank you McKay for your feedback! It's definitely a bit more prosaic than the poetry I usually write, but I'm glad content wise you liked it!

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TheHerbArtist replied...
Oct. 28, 2013 at 1:41 am

I love your mind! Very thought provoking and fresh

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azacious replied...
Oct. 29, 2013 at 4:20 pm

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it :)

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azacious replied...
Nov. 8, 2013 at 2:41 pm

If anyone else has opinions I'd appreciate it!

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PoeticStranger replied...
Nov. 8, 2013 at 10:44 pm

Azacious, the way that this poem is written, is amazing. I very much enjoy the structure and meaning of this poem. I seriously love this piece of art! I have a few postings in the forums that could use some feedback if you will! (:

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