Facebook Activity



Teen Ink on Twitter

Home > Forums > Writers' Workshop Forums > Poetry & Lyrics > Short Poem (I need some feedback)

Writers' Workshop Forums

Where teen writers share their work
   
Next thread » « Previous thread

Short Poem (I need some feedback)

esthercurly posted this thread...
Oct. 11, 2013 at 10:59 am

A smattering of freckles 
Like stars
Brighten up your cheeks that
Rosy blush at my touch; 
gentle as the breeze. 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
graywolf replied...
Oct. 12, 2013 at 5:15 pm

I really like how short it is, really I know I could never make a short poem that actually works so well. There is one thing though, I just don't think the first and second lines flow quite right. But other than that, it's great:)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
esthercurly replied...
Oct. 14, 2013 at 10:41 am

thanks so much! yeah, i was just wondering if it can develop into something better. will work on it! 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Laugh-it-OutThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 14, 2013 at 11:53 am

Hey there! this is really good! I like the simplicity of it, yet its so sweet and touching! I love  the imagry and I like how it is showed and not completelety told! Awesome job. When it is posted I will read/rate/comment! Keep rockin!

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 14, 2013 at 6:29 pm

I like the simplicity of it. I do feel like it's a little vague. And please title it. Nonetheless, the imagery is lovely. 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
lexi721 replied...
Oct. 15, 2013 at 6:43 pm

I love the detail and imagery infused into your poem! The length of it seems to add a certain uniqueness and meaning to it. Keep it up! :)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback