Facebook Activity



Teen Ink on Twitter

Home > Forums > Writers' Workshop Forums > Poetry & Lyrics > Something Wicked This Way Comes

Writers' Workshop Forums

Where teen writers share their work
   
Next thread » « Previous thread

Something Wicked This Way Comes

bree_bree posted this thread...
May 6, 2013 at 2:48 pm

The screetching groans of goust and goul
on the chill nights of all hallows eve,
haunting the faded feebling minds
of all those who still believe,
their moans echoing a warning
urging the mortal to leave,
but lying whispers are spoken
to blame the scuttling leaves.

The words ignored igniting fear
to be buried beneath comforting lies
but with each new creak and crack
it can be seen behind mortal eyes,
the clinging uncertainty remains to grow
with every renewal of opressed cries,
allways returning with lightless nights,
anxiously creeping as the daylight dies.

Warnings fall from the mouths of the dead
to linger in the bitting wind of the night
though the mortals turn a deaf ear,
allways choosing a cowards flight,
remaining instead in damned bliss
as they lose all want for delight,
refusing to confront repressed fear
of secrets just out of sight.

Hearing the whispers hiding in the wind
one mortal who stands alone,
her mind not yet gone, she listens
with a heart armed by stone,
in her ear swirled a warning,
a message chilling to the bone,
in desperation she spread the words
but to the side they were thrown.

Something wicked this way comes
from a realm gone astray,
something wicked this way comes
and in this realm it will stay,
something wicked this way comes
making the mortal into prey,
something wicked this way comes
the warnings whispered in dismay.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RoyalCorona replied...
May 27, 2013 at 10:29 am

Do you realize that not only is this a perfect poem but  it has the title of a nearly perfect book by Ray Bradbury? Great job on the poem, I wish I could write so elegantly and extravagently. 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
bree_bree replied...
May 29, 2013 at 9:55 am

Thank you verry much :) it means alot to me that you think this is a perfect poam it took some time to write im glad that it is apreciated by someone other than me.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
candlelightwriter replied...
May 29, 2013 at 5:48 pm

Very chilling and eerie. I like it :) Your rhyming power is commendable and you established a really sound rhythm. I really love this, this poem could be placed at the beginning of a novel or something to set the scene as poems sometimes do. It really alights my imagination. Great stuff :)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
bree_bree replied...
May 29, 2013 at 8:22 pm

:) Thanks i think rhythm is really important in poetry and try to creat something memorable each time i write

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 30, 2013 at 3:22 pm

I FINALLY FOUND THIS THREAD!!! :D May I say, that last stanza was EPIC! I love this poem sooooo much and if you haven't already sent it off to be published, you need to immediately; it is needing that special red check mark on it. There are only a few spelling errors that I caught: "ghost", "ghoul", "screeching", and "always." Otherwise, UH-MA-ZING!

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
bree_bree replied...
May 31, 2013 at 11:59 am

Hey thanks :) and yeah i have some gramar issues lol if nobody has noticed and thanks for the advice ill send it off today XD im really glad you think its so good.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
bree_bree replied...
Jun. 5, 2013 at 1:11 pm

Is there anything that you seen that you think could be changed to make my peice better?

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 6, 2013 at 3:07 pm

Nope :D Frankly  if you change anything beyond grammar or spelling, it'd ruin it since it's already perfect XD You can't really correct perfection! Have a great day!

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
bree_bree replied...
Jun. 12, 2013 at 3:49 pm

Perfection is a bit strong but ill take your word on it XP

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback