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Feedback, collaboration, whatev :)

RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 2:53 pm

If you want me to review your work or collaborate on a poem, or anything you can think of, I'd love to do that :) I'm so bored right now....

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 28, 2013 at 2:39 pm

Hmm... I always thought the collab fourm should be in workshop and not regular. But cool. What kinda poem collab?

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 28, 2013 at 5:47 pm

Ballad? I'll say a line or two and you rhyme it. Lets pick the format and rhyme scheme, etc.
how bout this for example?
She came and found a frog in the air.

It spoke to her and cried.

She dropped to the ground in speechless fear,
And fancy that—she died.

So every other two lines rhymes (sort of....) but just in the particular stanza.

A.
B.
c.
B.


sound good?

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replied...
Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:18 pm

Yup! One of my favorite forms for writing poetry. Are we also going to (basically, not strictly) use the normal alternating four iambic feet, three iambic feet? (Eight syllables, six sylables unemphasized sylable followed by an emphasized one.)

Exp: "The SILV'ry MOON had TIPPED and SPILLED/(8) his SHADows 'CROSS the LAWN/ (6) when FARMer OWen WOKE to FIND/(8) his ONly DAUGHter GONE" (6) (Makes sense if you read it aloud) We dont have to count strictly, or at all if you dont want to, and the emphasis is onky a guide. Do you have a subject in mind?

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:26 pm

Okay.... TI was a little confused as to my identity for a sec.... but that was me. Notice how the third line has NINE syllables in your example? It snuck an extra unemphasized one in the phrase "to the GROUND", to and the both being unemphasized. An excellent example of ways that you can cheat and nobody would even notice or care.

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:31 am

Yes, I usually do 8 and 6 syllable stanzas. Didn't know that was an actual thing though, i kind of do it naturally XD.
Okay, so subject: I want to have fun, but lets make this have a message too. Is there anything you're really passionate about?

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:53 am

Uh, writing, my best friends, reading..... thinking... im a dork, basically. Not a smart dork, but a dork still. I dont have passionate hobbies or activities aside from writing. Oh! I like sledding, I love hide and seek (dont laugh that game is crazy fu when played at night and the one who is chasing you is a cop(uncle) though I havent done that in years.) But thats no good. The only thing i really like istalking to people. Maybe we'll have better luck with you. What are you passionate about?

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:03 am

Oh. Lol, I meant social issues.

I'm passionate about world hunger, acceptance between people of different religions, self-worth, Jesus, ..... Um, the difference one person can make even though it seems like they can't.

Anything like that? Or we can just do an abstract one....idk......

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:18 am

Ah! I heard the "fun" part if your comment, but not the part about the message. I was thinking abiut the things I like tondo and wondering "how can pingpong have a message....? But yeah. I am passionate about human dignity, especially the helpless in society. I am strongly pro life, both in protecting the unborn AND restricting capital punishment (not always popular in the PL crowd) I tend to stand mostly on the conservative side of the specrum when it comes to social justice, I love my Roman Catholic faith and have grave respect toward other religions both abrahamic and otherwise because religion, by its nature, is the quest for truth and I try to honor truth reguardless of who finds it.

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:23 am

But hey, Lets be a little abstract for a moment. Just think about things. Your daily life, your world veiw, whatever. Is there anything you sometimes notice that is normal, but you find unbelievable? (In either sense. Im just trying to get a feel, here.)

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nikki1This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:51 am

omg yes all the tim have you ever felt like you were there but not really there like a dream?

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nikki1This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:51 am

tim was supposed to be time sorry.

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:41 pm

Huh.... so... a poem about a dream....? Im sorry. I never remeber my dreams, only my nightmares. (Feel like i was there? Heck yes, i got hurt in a dream and i actually, physically hurt every time I remeber it while awake) now, nightmares arent fun, so if we chose dreams as a subject i would have to bow out.iI wouldnt know how to help.

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:28 pm

Were you saying something that others think is normal but you struggle with/don't believe?
So.....we could do something about how people don't think that what they do affects someone else?
For example, if we were starting the poem, I'd say "Why do the pebbles that they throw/never seem to ripple?"

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:29 pm

(Ripple the water, I mean)

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Ah... sorta. I suppose that counts. But it dosnt mater weather it counts since we were just fishing for good ideas, and that is an enormously good one! (I find it easier to start with an idea for a line, or an ending line, then write the rest of the stanza, so I might flip the order sometimes and put yours after mine if i think your two lines sound stronger.) If i were to continue with your lines, I miht say something like this:

"Why do the pebbles that they throw/ Never seem to ripple?/ They talk as if there's never cuts/ When reaping with thier sickle"


(Ahhhg! Youre mean...! Making me havta deal with "ripple".... are we gonna go with these lines? Or is this just an example of what we'd do?

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 10:37 pm

It was just an example......and don't be naughty. Ripple rhymes with other thins, like ..... Jipple?

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:02 pm

Lol, sickle, as in that syth looking thing? And I supose, though, I coulda said "reaping with their pickle...." i have no clue what it would mean, but if your vauge enough, people see all kinds of deep things in stulidity... ;)

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:14 am

...um, you're weirder than I am, and I seriously commend you for it XD
 
I'll start then.
 
It started it as a kind of song,
the kind that claims the heart.
 
:)

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TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:32 am

Then grew into a symphony
When you became a part.


((I thought we were doing people not realizing what they do affects others? Is it going to have a love angle? Okay. My turn.))
My pulse had been enraptured,
My heartbeat thumped along

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