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Teen Ink
teenink
Feb. 15 at 11:50 pm
I will comment on anyone who reads this and comments! :)
Touch of the tip of your wondering hands,
I ache for the embrace.
Breeze of a sigh, of a lingering sigh,
I feel it slipping, erased.
Murmurs of words that I long to hear,
I hate your silly lies.
Traces of tears long been replaced,
I hate this old disguise.
Feb. 16 at 3:55 am
Its quite nice, ill admit im not too good at interpreting poetry, but am I correct in saying that this is about one who lost their lover and is now putting on a brave face, but is aching inside?
Click my name to see my poems, I have 3 comment would be appreciated.
Feb. 16 at 11:20 am
:) sort of, it's about a girl who pines after someone who's distant and who used to love her. I will check out your work!
Feb. 16 at 11:26 am
Um, I can't find your work.... Are you sure it's posted yet?
Feb. 16 at 12:33 pm
'hate' was repeated in both the last stanzas, and otherwise, your poem was fairly good. not boring but not all that interesting either.3/5
Feb. 16 at 1:29 pm
Thanks for the honesty:) The last two stanzas went together, so the repetition was purposeful. And I agree, it isn't my best work! Thanks for your feedback:) I'll go read something of yours now
Feb. 16 at 1:33 pm
Haha, turns out I've read your work and commented before! But I found one that I hadn't read yet, I think it had something about lemon juice in it:) (sorry, can't remember the name of it)... You are a very talented writer!
Feb. 17 at 9:28 am
You're right, it isn't your best..but I liked the repetition....Plus the word "lingering" was amazing...
