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Home > Forums > Writers' Workshop Forums > Poetry & Lyrics > FEEDBACK PLEASE.

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FEEDBACK PLEASE.

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emma.slow posted this thread...
Feb. 14 at 11:03 pm

 
No Control.
 
Do you ever find yourself expecting things to change? Wishing and waiting, praying that you don’t go insane? Wanting more than what life has in store, slowly slipping and eventually losing yourself. Your stuck, your pondering, your just simply wishing.

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Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 15 at 12:26 am

To be brutaly honest it's just to cliche. You need something speacial in there that will really make it stck out to your reader. 

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 16 at 12:38 pm

I didn't like how you structured the poem into one big paragraph, but I did like your asking question to provoke a response in the reader. I definitely could relate to it:). Could you read something of mine please?

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