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a valentines day tragedy

writerauterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Feb. 14, 2013 at 7:11 pm

she walks into class her head held high
he looks up at her from his desk seat
she smiles and flips her blonde hair
he winks and pulls out her desk chair.
 
two love birds running in the same circles
two populars in serious love with each other
one mistake, leads to a heartbreak...
one loss, leads to the ending of a life.
 
he walks the halls with his head held high
she walks the other way with a smile
he stops and feels up that other hotter girl
he cheats, but just has no idea.
 
two lovers chasing differnt careers in life
two highschoolers at major odds with each other
one fall, leads to a tragic goodbye...
one lie, leads to the end of her life.
 
she walks out to lunch, and turns back around
she looks down the road and sees her boyfriend
she gasps unsure of what she is seeing...
he is walking with another girl in his arms
he didnt see her, but she saw everything
she gets in her car, she cant breathe...
she speeds past them, tears in her eyes
a man driving past a stop sign ends her life.
 

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ZozeyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 15, 2013 at 7:40 pm

OMG, This is so tragic! Tears in my eyes... go puplish this on teen ink!

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writerauterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:09 am

thanks...i will be sure to

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thatunknownthingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:29 pm

this is....nice, and makes an interesting story....but not as good a poem. I felt para 4 was one to long, and since you have a very good theme, you can reframe it to have it read better. 3/5!
p.s. check out some of my stuf if you can and let me know of your criticism too :)

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