Wed May 22, 2013 8:48am 
Feb. 7 at 4:04 pm
The taunting assurance of a sure path of destruction and the perception of a vain for the sanity of a new beginning seasoned with the spices of old love to mask the bitter truth of false aspirations along with the hope of mending my shattered dreams numbing the painful blows of simple words forged to mimic daggers rusted with the sheer hate of the world aimed to Peirce the very threshold of my beating heat. leaving bhind only the emptiness of death Following abruptly behind are flaming arrows arched to kill all faith in this life a simple price to pay for mere differences
Feb. 7 at 4:32 pm
This could be a lot better... Basically you just strung a bunch of adjectives and adverbs together. It doesn't make a lot of sense and doesn't create a response in the reader (well, me) except for "whaaaaaaa'?"
Feb. 8 at 2:03 pm
Now I finally catch you puttin something new on here. But sadly I must agree with RarelyJaded.. It sounds good but its not what it could be. And I know you are a very talented writer and can fix the problems so please when you do let me know, you have my number. ;) Have a great day!
Feb. 8 at 3:21 pm
im aware of that this thread was just a trial and error but thanks for commenting
Feb. 8 at 3:27 pm
Oh ok well your welcome then ;) lol hey im on chat wanna join?
