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XweienX posted this thread...
Jan. 14, 2013 at 6:50 am

Hello there! I'm quite new to this site so I am not planning to post my work just yet. Therefore, I would be more than happy to provide feedback about any of your POEMS for free!
Simply leave a link of your poem here. Thank you. :)

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Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:02 am

Could you check out Tea and Coffee please?

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Lawless-FlameRose replied...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:05 am

try mines and if you can rate it to Lost in the Moment

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XweienX replied...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:49 am

I've posted my two cents on the both poems' pages. Thank you! :)

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RandomPoet replied...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:22 am

I happen to have 11 articles and feel free to read any of them and you can leave comments and advice on writing better poems. I also write poems for people just tell me a topic and ill write on it or what feelings come to it and dedicate it to that person :)

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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:45 am

Could you take a look at my poem I WIsh I Knew?

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RolledthestoneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 15, 2013 at 5:26 pm

Really? That's so nice. Could you check out my poem Let Me Be? Or any other poems of mine. Constructive and destructive critisism both accepted. be brutally honest if ya haft to. THX! =-D

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XweienX replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:50 am

@RandomPoet: forgive me because I don't have the luxury to go through all your poems right now, therefore i picked the title that caught my eye the most. I will get back to the rest when i have the chance.



@guardianofthestars &

@Rolledthestone:

You'll see my comment on the poems' pages. :)

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ILuvBritishBoysThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:57 am

Could you check out some of mine when you have time it doesnt really matter which ones, ill really appreciate it. Thank you:)

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XweienX replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:29 pm

@ILuvBritishBoys: had time to go through 3 of your poems, left some comments, do take a look. :)

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nmk1128 replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:27 pm

Hello, I'd quite like it if you check out my poem(s) and let me know what you think, and maybe let me know if anything strikes your fancy. Much appreciated

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Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:20 pm

Here is the sart to one of my songs: 
Chorus: And I love you every minute every hour. I even think about you in the shower. No matter what I do my mind is ruled thoughts of you. So baby this song is my love letter. Cause when I look at you my heart starts to flutter

When I look at you my spine sends out a quick shudder.



1st verse:

I see you standing over there on the street corner smiling like you do.

You caught my eye and I won’t lie you never let it go.

I must admit when I got bit by the love bug

I think it saved my life.

And I love you every minute every hour. I even think about you in the shower. No matter what I do my mind is ruled thoughts of  you. So baby this song is my love letter. Cause when I look at you my heart starts to flutter

When I look at you my spine sends out a quick shudder.

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FadingAway replied...
Jan. 20, 2013 at 2:03 pm

May i have your feedback on this?
Memories start to fade....
The days that seem brightest

Are the days that are hardest

The sun soaks in through her pale skin causeing a chill to crept down her spine in slow intervels

The air is breathtaking

She feels as if she is being hit in the chest with a castiron skillet

She inhales the smell of water in the pool on the deck and the fresh cut grass

As she closes her eyes and remembers everything

The way he walked in those blue jeans

How his white t-shirt hugged every part of a his of body

How his hand collapse hers

The way he smiled whenever she looked at him

How he held her in his arms as the sun went down and everything got a little colder

How it felt to be flung into the water of the creek behind his house.

All the shared icees & chocolate dipped icecream cones with nuts resting atop

How they would stand on the roof of the barn and watch the world spin around

Now fall's coming and everytihng is changing

He's leaving without her

Brought a motorcyle and is headed west in that black leather jacket

And just like his backside as she stand beneath that weeping willow with the pregency test in her hand

Memories start to fade.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 

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AmyLeigh replied...
Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:04 am

I've only posted one poem so far, but could you check out mine and tell me what you think? It's called Secret.

Thank you!!! :)

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replied...
Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:49 pm

If you could look at this and maybe rate/ comment about it that would be fantastic!
TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/521168/Forgetful/

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Lawless-FlameRose replied...
Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:26 am

i have more articles now if u dnt mind posting comments on those

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CowgirlBri replied...
Jan. 23, 2013 at 7:05 pm

Please? TeenInk.com/forums?act=post&topic_id=16&thread_id=72411

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HeatherSemb replied...
Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:30 pm

Please check out my poem Orange Grove and tell me what you think! When you post your peoms, I would love to read them. Thanks!

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XweienX replied...
Feb. 26, 2013 at 3:40 am

4th line, I believe "crept" should be replaced with "creep"? Or is there a form of literacy which i did not understand? :)



Anyway, the poem is great, it's written straight to the point, and it tells a whole story with just a few lines. Great job! :)

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XweienX replied...
Feb. 26, 2013 at 3:42 am

Sorry, forgot to mention, my previous reply was towards FadingAway. :)



As for the others, I have already posted my comments on the poems' pages.

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