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> Forums > Writers' Workshop Forums > Poetry & Lyrics > The Servant (Please tell me what you think!)
Nov. 27, 2012 at 6:08 pm
I have suffered foolish burden
And hear sweetly foul threats
I pray now;
No more amazement-
Comfort as fresh as nature be my magic apple
Rest as sweet as life take me
Peace bring me joy
Yet I sense the sound of a man besting sleepy shackles
Swim, bark, hail five fingers kissed by my lips
A man asleep on his own island ushers me
Hush now, and heigh my hearts:
It is time to descend
Nov. 27, 2012 at 9:11 pm
I like this poem. I think it's interesting that you used one stanza instead of multiple stanzas. Check out my poetry if you can thanksss.
Nov. 30, 2012 at 5:01 pm
This is good! Can you read my poem "Inside the Body" Please?
Dec. 7, 2012 at 2:00 am
I like this, but it sounded a bit choppy if you know what I mean. Try adding some more words to better explain your ideas.
