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taylor.bugThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 7, 2012 at 7:06 pm

@KnitsandPurls: Well, I DO believe the title of this thread says FREE feedback. *nudges* YOu don't have to, but I'd appreciate it if you checked out my new poem All They Laugh At. I'd like healthy feedback. Thank you!!

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kdaws15 replied...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 2:00 am

I could always use some feedback!

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Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:53 am

Wow, thanks! Do you think you could read my poem Your Eyes?

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FauxedTea replied...
Dec. 19, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Could you review a few of my poems? Bubble, Little Leaf, and Effects of Music? I would appreciate it! Thanks!

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purplehani replied...
Dec. 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm

charm bracelet
 
 
When I got the contract
to perform each year
It made a huge impact
when he let out a cheer
 
He gave me a chain
that would do no harm
We kissed in the rain
He was my lucky charm
 
He said when I sang
the angels were jealous
His voice made a clang
The birds would cuss
 
Before my performance
I got a call
He died by chance
I didn’t sing at all
 
The night he was late
He died by a car
And now I hate
all music stars
 

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jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 22, 2012 at 6:22 pm

So interesting!! The only part that I don't understand is the part about the birds cussing. Sounds interesting, though. This is a FANTASTIC poem! Continue to write!

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marchbutterfly replied...
Dec. 22, 2012 at 7:50 pm

If you have time, con you please read my poem The girl with the dirty Blond hair

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Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 24, 2012 at 12:19 am

Through the howling wind travels the midnight castle.

It tries to escape from the city hassle.

It progresses towards a land far away.

In that land it hopes to stay.

Behind the castle walls there are secrets being whispered

by the hidden ones who know the tales of the egyptian

pharaohs and the queen of the nile.

They have been concealed for ones personal gain.

Just like the other treasures that are

slipped under the floorboards

or buried in the icy heart of the king.

This castle was built with lies and hatreds.

Each brick representing another misfortune.

Yet still it is a place loved by many.

It is a place thought of as holy.

This place is a scapegoat for ones sins and shames.

Majestic as it may be, this palace is not a place for you or me.

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jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 24, 2012 at 11:31 am

Wow! This is very interesting... I've never read a poem with that subject/topic before. VERY interesting! Make sure to keep your rhyme scheme consistent, and stuff more poetic elements in the piece!! I cannot wait to see what you come up with next!

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Confuzzled5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 24, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I just submitted poems, but when they are published, could you look at them?

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jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 26, 2012 at 11:30 am

Of course!

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Confuzzled5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Barely Know Me
 
You barely know me.
I was the one,
Who no one could figure out,
I didn't know the word crush.
I was my own person,
I didn't care what anyone thought.
 
You barely know me,
But you have ruined me.
My heart beats so fast when you're around me,
I can't hear what you're saying,
When I want to hear every word.
 
You barely know me,
But the first time you touched me,
My heart stopped beating,
For the first time in my life.
I hate you,
For changing me,
But I love you for it too.
 
You barely know me.
I lose myself,
In your beautiful eyes.
You make me laugh all the time,
But inside,
I just want to cry.
 
You barely know me.
You look at me,
But not at the real me.
You talk to me,
But not the real me.
 
You barely know me,
And from the looks of it,
It's going to stay that way,
For eternity.

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Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 26, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Thanks! I checked out your work Darkest Day..it was really cool!

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Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:19 pm

This is really cool of you to do! I'm new to Teen Ink and all and I'd really appreciate it if you'd check out my poem Combustion.

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Confuzzled5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 28, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Can someone look at my poem? For some reason, it went to the middle of the page, it's four posts up, and called Barely Know Me. Sorry...

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LoudDreamer replied...
Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Thankyou, Jettabug.
Could you take a look at my Of Nymphs for me?

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LoudDreamer replied...
Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Okay, its very interesting, and I love the beggining. But tword the end it didn't flow right. Perhaps its because it began with consistant rhyming, then dropped of entierly.

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LoudDreamer replied...
Dec. 29, 2012 at 8:43 pm

woops! that reply above was for sparkle.

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jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:31 pm

@Confuzzled: I love your name, BTW. That's my Mii's name on my Wii. (: Your poem is really captivating, and if I may, I'd like to suggest adding some metaphors and similes into your poem. THey will make it deeper and something that people will think about for hours, not just while they're reading it. Great job, thoug!

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jetta.ckThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:32 pm

@Laugh: It's not posted yet, but I'll try and check it out when it is! (:

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