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being abused and keeping it a secret

lovely_bones posted this thread...
Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:40 am

can someone tell me to this very day how come children get abused for no reason

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Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:36 pm

Well what I know of it is that sometimes the child's parent has been abused previously and just has never learned how to deal with it and sometimes even believes that abuse is just how a family is (it's not), and doesn't know how else to act. That's one reason, I think, but I'm sure there are others, too. That's all that I know, really.

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lovely_bones replied...
Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:33 pm

i know but im just saying why would parnets do something like that children done deserve that at all

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Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:04 pm

It's a good question. I guess maybe they just don't see how harsh they are really being?

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Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:10 am

Or, sorry to jump in here, or there are people who are truelly screwed up mentally and eitehr think what their doing is 'right' or don't give a fig.  There are also the truelly evil people out there...both types of people need help.  Soryy if my opinion seems brutal, but it's true...yeah sorry...

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lovely_bones replied...
Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:00 pm

your stament is not brutal at all its just what you think and i agree with you

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Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:49 am

It's hard to know how people think about it--and the reason behind it could be different for everyone who is an abuser.

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lovely_bones replied...
Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:32 pm

ture because 1 reason is . drinking problem
2.they dont love there children
3.they have sick twistied minnds
 

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Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:31 pm

That might be a reason or reasons for one person or even a group of people, but there are so many different people in this world that we're all different and that type if generalization can't be true for every abuser.

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lovely_bones replied...
Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:34 am

oh okay i understand that but you do make a lot of sense i understand now

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lovely_bones replied...
Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:35 am

also how come little kids keep it a secert

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Feb. 6, 2013 at 5:50 pm

That's easy. Little kids don't understand what's happening. It's the parents' job to be teaching the child, but if they are abusing the kid, then the kid learns that the abuse is what caring is. Children don't usually understand.

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lovely_bones replied...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:07 am

but you dont know what i mean by that i meant like if they are 10,11 something like that and they getting abused i remember when my best firend was being rapped and abused and she only told me it mad me cry

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Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:47 pm

In that case, I don't know. I can't claim to actually know any of the answers for sure. My guess is either they have gotten used to it (in the case of having abuse happen since they were smaller) or maybe if the abuse had just started, they don't think it could be wrong because the parents are doing it. In a kid's eyes, how could a parent ever be wrong about anything? This is assuming your mean the parents are doing it. And maybe telling you, a friend, was easier or something?

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Hope16This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:12 pm

im so sorry your friend went through this i hope she is okay

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JessesAngel replied...
Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:08 am

when abuse starts when the child is little, then the child usually sees it as normal if it goes on for a while. the child sometimes won't tell because they trust the person who is abusing/has abused them(be it family member or not) and they don't want to get that person/persons in trouble so they don't tell. also, the abuser tells them that they wanted it or that it's there fault, or they'll say that the child will get in trouble for telling. the abuser might give them something then tell them that they owe a favor now, or they'll blackmail them in some way. people become abusers(talking mostly about sexual abusers here) if they themselves were abused. also, when the abuser has a history of looking at pornography, then the abuser want to act out what he/she has seen.

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pulledheartstring replied...
Mar. 14, 2013 at 5:56 pm

I think perhaps it may have something to do with their parents' cultures, and how they were raised up? Also, short tempers and such can lead to possible verbal abuse. I know for one fact that parents call spanking their children at a young age, when they do something wrong, "discipline."
Perhaps you should research parental verbal/physical abuse.
Most parents want the best out of their children and wouldn't want their children to make the same mistakes they did in the past. Thus, they concentrate on that instead of the child him/herself.
But I remember watching this video a long time ago where this mother would just hit her small baby for no reason whatsoever... For why she was abusing him/her, I really don't know. Masochist, maybe?

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JessesAngel replied...
Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:38 pm

@mollybug ... i was too... little kids dont tell someone that they are being abused because they either dont want to get that person/persons in trouble, or the person/perrsons (be it family member, etc.) is blackmailing them or tells them that they (the kid) would be the one who would get in trouble instead of themselves(the abuser/abusers). Also, the kid may not think that whoever they want to tell that this is happening to them may not believe them and call them a liar.

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Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:20 pm

Not only is it all the parent knows, it's all the kid knows. When someone is raised in a heavily drug addled environment, and their parents beat on them, that's how their kids turn out. Drug addicted and violent. Kids don't tell anyone cause sometimes they don't want to get their parents in trouble, or maybe they don't even trust anyone enough to tell them. I didn't tell anyone, cause the way I saw it, some kids had it a lot worse. All my parents really did was neglect me and my dad beat on me when he could catch me. Some kids have it a lot worse, and so I just decided to suck it up and deal with it. 

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:58 pm

^ that's not to say a kid SHOULD have to suck it up. I wouldn't look at my three year old sister and say "suck it up, other kids have it worse".... that's crazy.


Just because the parents are abusive doesnt make the kid abusive later on. The a higher CHANCE they will be, but a lot of people take the opportunity to give their kids the life they never had.


Keeping abuse secret is not okay. Just my opinion.

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