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Useless and meaningless

TheCapturedBatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Aug. 19, 2013 at 6:50 pm

I've had to move back and forth between my father's household and my mother's three times in the last four years. I got  to spend the summer with my mother, and I thought I was going to be able to stay with her permanently, but she is having financial problems and her home is practically falling apart. So now I'm back with my father and hearing about all the ways that my mother messed up her life and is to blame for all our suffering. I'm trying to take comfort from the fact that now I get to spend more time with my sisters, but I just feel lost and depressed and completely without purpose. All I can do is drift about and pull out my hair and occasionally make some feeble attempt to be useful. Every attempt I've ever made to have a life has been cut short by instability of one kind or another, and my father and stepmother look at me like I'm a failure, like there's something wrong with me. I've always been slow to learn and do things and adapt to situations, and I have no opportunity to do anything more than continue to be a failure. While I was with my mother, I was bonding with a new friend, but now I doubt I'll be able to see him at all. I don't know what to do with myself. I keep telling myself that I must not fall apart. My life here isn't that bad, and I'm going to be eighteen in a few months anyway, but I feel too depressed to make any use of this time. My mother might end up homeless, and I don't know if I'll even be able to find her once I'm free. I feel lost and useless, and I hate myself for not being able to cope.

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Aug. 31, 2013 at 2:24 pm

Don't you worry about a thing. Life is rarely ever easy for anyone. Your parents obviously are having issues between themselves, and you're simply caught in the middle of the crossfire. Just relax, take a deep breath, and try to make the best of the situation you're in. Go out, have fun, make new friends, study hard, help out around the house, try to bond with your dad and stepmom, and maybe even get a job to pass the time.
 
Remember: to shoot an arrow, you've got to pull it back. When you're feeling down, just know that life is about to launch you into something great.

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