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Wontgiveup17 posted this thread...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 5:58 pm

I have tried to stop self harming but it's not working. When my mom found out she didn't get me help she just said that I needed to stop. Of course I NEED to stop!!!! I just don't know how. It's consuming my life and I need help but I'm not good at asking for help. I usually keep things inside and as you can tell by what I'm saying it's not ending up well. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop!!!!!!!! I feel so alone in this war I'm waging against myself.

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Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:14 pm

Hun, look up the Butterfly Project online. It may sound childish, but hey, it worked for me; I've been clean for a looooong time now because of it. I know this is kinda personal, but what are you using? If you can, get rid of it; (since your mum already knows) ask your mum to hide it for you. If it's your nails that you're using, clip them as short as you can. If you need any more suggestions, don't be afraid to ask! I'm here for you :D

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Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:14 pm

Also, it helps if you can get a hobby to take your mind off of it.

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Jubilex replied...
Aug. 8, 2013 at 3:39 am

I've written a lot about this subject. I will find an old post and copy it here.

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Jubilex replied...
Aug. 8, 2013 at 3:42 am

"Stopping cutting is a complex process, despite pretty much all the advice being really simplistic. It's one of those easy to say, hard to do kind of situations. Once you manage to convince youself that you want to stop and that it's best for you, you've really got the process started. I can't stress enough how important this is. The next big factor is will power. Sticking to the idea that you should stop, no matter how hard it gets. It's hard, but whether you believe you can do it or not, you can. Anyone can obstain from self inflicted injury. It may hurt like he.ll sometimes, but you are capable of it.
The rest, it tends toward personal preference. How you go about dealing with the feeling of addiciton as you withdraw from it should be tailored to what would suit you best. I'd encourage you to keep thinking about the reasons why you want to stop. Group them together and use them as a shield. Have them protect you from giving in. Some good distraction techniques can work well too, but I should warn you that whilst these can be helpful, they are temporary and superficial. They'll get you away from thinking too much about cutting while they're available, but when you're not in a position to undertake one of these activities you'll be more vulnerable. That's why all that will power and self talk (on why you want to stop) is so important. That said, distraction methods can be anything that keeps your mind off of cutting. It could be something you find enjoyable, interesting, intellectually stimulating, tiring, etc. Some examples: reading, listening to music (preferably not anything that makes you feel upset), exercising, learning about something new (or something that you have an interest in), talking to a friend (about whatever you want, it doesn't have to be about how you feel).
When I combined the core methods (remembering my reasons for stopping and sticking to those beliefs no matter what), with distractions when necessary, I found a good method for stopping self harm. I was still depressed and still struggling over the time that I quit, and it was not until more than a year after the last time that I cut that I really felt confident that I would never cut again (I was still depressed at this point too).
It's a difficult process and takes a lot of time. You may still feel like cutting for a long time after stopping. It may still be your default thought for coping with emotional pain. The trick is to under no circumstances give in. Commit yourself to that and you'll get there. It's worth it. Even when I still felt like cutting, I knew I'd made the right choice and I knew my life was easier because of it. Cutting teaches destructive methods of dealing with pain. Once you remove it from the equation, you start to learn better ways of dealing with that emotion.
I've talked a lot on this subject, mostly about what worked for me. As I said before, you may have to change things around a little so that it works best for you. We are different people, and so what suits you may not have suited me and vice versa."

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Aug. 24, 2013 at 9:21 pm

h ttp://www.epbot.co m/2013/02/because-we-are-better-than-this-and.html

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