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I Give Free Advice (But I'm Not a Genie, So Don't Make a Wish)

Krasota-Butterflies-and-AngelsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:30 pm

I went through a lot in my freshman year from an unhealthy relationship to self-esteem issues and I made a lot of bad choices. However, I feel like I've learned a lot from them (though I am by no means calling myself wise, because I don't qualify as an elderly lady), and if there's anyone out there who wants advice or support or help, I'll be more than willing to give some! :D So yeah, have a great day everyone!

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Wings10FeetTall replied...
Aug. 20, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Hey, Kras! Alright, problem: I've got some pretty terrible social anxiety. HElp? Please? Also, I wish that I had a million dollars! c;

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Aug. 22, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Hey Drag :) can't give you a million dollars, but I was shy, too so I'll give this a shot. It might sound stupid, but start small first. If you can't talk to a person directly, talk to your dog. Start pushing yourself to be more outgoing. Doesn't have to be anything major, though. Set goals for yourself (great now I'm sounding like one of those annoying teachers in middle school). Come up with things to say that you can default to if you're in a situation where you don't know what to say. If your mind goes blank and you forgot your "default" statement, compliment the other person. Remember, the other person is probably just as shy as you. If you freeze over, don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry, I have social anxiety/extremely shy and I just need a moment to relax." If it's a truly awesome person, they won't think you're weird for that. No person should judge shyness; that's just wrong. Hope that helped! :D

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Wings10FeetTall replied...
Aug. 22, 2013 at 6:51 pm

Yeah, thanks. :)

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Aug. 22, 2013 at 7:12 pm

No problem! :) Take care, mi amigo.

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megcmusicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 1 at 9:43 pm

So I have been told to kill myself becsuse I was so ugly. I'm not talking to the person who told me this, but when he's not raging he's great for my self esteem. He's ADHD and ADD and on like 5 meds so I don't know if it's really his fault. What should I do?

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Jan. 3 at 12:54 pm

If you feel comfortable, I'd talk to him about how you found that statement unacceptable (in a calm tone). Make sure you do this privately so that he doesn't feel like he's being attacked, otherwise he might attack you verbally. If he makes the excuse "it was my meds talking," tell him that there is no justification for telling someone to commit suicide. I have several friends who are ADHD/ADD and though they may get out of hand sometimes with their words, their characters are so that they would never dream of telling someone to go kill themselves. I think that the person may have been joking (very slight possibility), but if that was the case and he makes that excuse, assert yourself in saying that you don't like those types of jokes because they can be and are hurtful. I'm sorry that you had to go through that, and frankly if it was me, I would avoid the guy. Best of luck to you and take care! :)

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megcmusicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 3 at 10:59 pm

Actally, I'm talking to him now, and he's apologized. He actually told my friend that he would wait for me forever, even if it meant dying alone. I'm nowhere close to baring my soul or anything, but I'm trying to up my self esteem.

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Feb. 5 at 11:08 am

Sounds good, although the statement that he told your friend is slightly confusing. Don't ever let someone get you down, and keep working hard on that self-esteem :) Best of luck to you, and if you ever need to talk, this thread's always open!

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TearlightThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 12 at 4:49 pm

Hello Kras,
I'm am kinda just...
I dont know sad...
Like as in suicidal freak sad...
People call me things I'm never gonna repeat. 
And it just hurts.
I've started seeing my counselor two times a week.
But I dont really trust her.
I dont want to go in the hospital again...
What should I do?
 

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Feb. 12 at 6:49 pm

Do you trust your parents? The best thing that you can do for yourself is get a new counselor. There is no way that you can be expected to share these emotions with someone that you do not trust. Talk to your parents (you don't necessarily have to confide in them of these feelings if you don't feel comfortable) and tell them that you feel that you need a new counselor. That is key if you are to get beyond this. As for the bullies out there, they don't deserve your consideration. Tell an authority figure that you know will stick up for you. You don't deserve to be called names by any means. 
Personally, I kept a diary of those feelings. I would write down a suicidal thought I was having and, for each negative thought, I came up with two positive ones. I called the positive ones "my reasons to live." That, along with the Butterfly Project (although I'm not sure if you're familiar with it), helped me out. Best of luck to you and if you ever need more suggestions or just someone to listen, I'm here! :) Have an awesome day!

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TearlightThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 12 at 7:12 pm

Thank you so much...
My parent... well they arent the best...
I dont know the names of the people who keep doing this to me...
As for the journal idea, I try to do that... and its a great idea...
 

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megcmusicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 17 at 9:41 pm

Well, we had dated... But I need help with another situation...
 
One of my friends was in tears today after school. We're in the school play together, and she told me that some girls in the play have been bullying her. She told me not to tell them, but she also told me she almost attempted the other night because of them. I don't want to tell an adult, just because I know that the girl doesn't trust easily and to tell me was a huge step for her. I want to help, but I don't know if I should just keep her self esteem up or confront the 2 girls bullying her. Help?

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Feb. 18 at 3:35 pm

To megcmusic:
This is pretty serious. I know you don't want to break this girl's trust, but nevertheless, adults need to be notified. If you confront the girl's bullies and make a small misstep, the bullies may make things worse for this girl. My suggestion is to comfort the girl and encourage her to tell someone. Sometimes all it takes is an "I'll go with you" or "if you want me to talk to [insert adult's name], I'd be happy to." Assert yourself in this situation towards telling an adult. However, telling an adult that someone being bullied vs. telling an adult that the victim was going to commit suicide are two different things. If the girl would prefer not to share that detail, she doesn't have to by any means. Best of luck to you! :)

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Feb. 18 at 3:39 pm

To Tearlight:
Sorry I haven't gotten back to this post. Is this cyberbullying? You can by all means report this. If not (and maybe it's just letters shoved through locker holes), you have your hands slightly tied (although if my locker guess is correct, you could tape cardboard inside the locker! I've done that one before). I'm glad you like the journal suggestion! Let me know if you want any more suggestions. :) Have a great day!

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