i hate using the actual word, but i think most of you know what im talking about.. self harm? yeah..
it didnt used to be so bad.. but it has progressively gotten worse.. i need some serious help, but dont know what to do
Um. I sort of hate to ask this, but what kind of self-harm? If I had a better ideea, I might be able to offer some advice.
like, a razor, burning.. starving myself.. i hate to say that, but yeah
I think that to begin with, you should try to figure out what is making you hurt yourself, unless you already know, and stop starving yourself. While the cutting and the burning is very dangerous, the starving is the most dangerous out of the three and will most likely have the longest-term impact on your life.
And I would also like you to know that I'll talk to you about anything you like. Sounds a bit cliche, I guess, but it's true. I just wanted you to know.
I've written a lot on this subject. I'll see if I can find some of my old posts.
Sorry it took a while to get to this. I had some server issues with TI.
This is an older post of mine:
"Stopping cutting is a complex process, despite pretty much all the advice being really simplistic. It's one of those easy to say, hard to do kind of situations. Once you manage to convince youself that you want to stop and that it's best for you, you've really got the process started. I can't stress enough how important this is. The next big factor is will power. Sticking to the idea that you should stop, no matter how hard it gets. It's hard, but whether you believe you can do it or not, you can. Anyone can obstain from self inflicted injury. It may hurt like he.ll sometimes, but you are capable of it.
The rest, it tends toward personal preference. How you go about dealing with the feeling of addiciton as you withdraw from it should be tailored to what would suit you best. I'd encourage you to keep thinking about the reasons why you want to stop. Group them together and use them as a shield. Have them protect you from giving in. Some good distraction techniques can work well too, but I should warn you that whilst these can be helpful, they are temporary and superficial. They'll get you away from thinking too much about cutting while they're available, but when you're not in a position to undertake one of these activities you'll be more vulnerable. That's why all that will power and self talk (on why you want to stop) is so important. That said, distraction methods can be anything that keeps your mind off of cutting. It could be something you find enjoyable, interesting, intellectually stimulating, tiring, etc. Some examples: reading, listening to music (preferably not anything that makes you feel upset), exercising, learning about something new (or something that you have an interest in), talking to a friend (about whatever you want, it doesn't have to be about how you feel).
When I combined the core methods (remembering my reasons for stopping and sticking to those beliefs no matter what), with distractions when necessary, I found a good method for stopping self harm. I was still depressed and still struggling over the time that I quit, and it was not until more than a year after the last time that I cut that I really felt confident that I would never cut again (I was still depressed at this point too).
It's a difficult process and takes a lot of time. You may still feel like cutting for a long time after stopping. It may still be your default thought for coping with emotional pain. The trick is to under no circumstances give in. Commit yourself to that and you'll get there. It's worth it. Even when I still felt like cutting, I knew I'd made the right choice and I knew my life was easier because of it. Cutting teaches destructive methods of dealing with pain. Once you remove it from the equation, you start to learn better ways of dealing with that emotion.
I've talked a lot on this subject, mostly about what worked for me. As I said before, you may have to change things around a little so that it works best for you. We are different people, and so what suits you may not have suited me and vice versa."
It's focussed on cutting, but can be applicable to other forms of self harm.
This forum that you posted basically summed up everything that i have been telling myself.. its great to hear it from someone else. i found a friend who is there for me, and it hurts him every time i cut, so he's my motivation for this.. the last time i did it, was last week, and i made an anchor on my leg. i feel like that was me telling myself that im strong enough to hold down my battling emotions, you know? i dont know if that makes any sense.. anyways, im trying this new thing. i will hold the razor blade in my hand around the time that i usually do it, and ill text my friend for a little while, or ill read... by the time im done with either of those things, the wanting for the razor on my skin is gone.. its the weirdest thing, but i have really done a lot better!
these posts have really helped... i havent burned myself either in a few weeks, and, i admit, i didnt let myself eat on sunday, but i was going through some stuff with a very close friend, and i figured if i cut i would fall back into that... im still going through some stuff with my friend, who really needs somebody right now, but i know that if im the strong one right now, he wont fall too far down..
im really thankful to you guys for answering this.. im not one for opening up at all, like my closest friend cant stand it because i know so much about him, and he hardly knows anything about me, but im trying to reach out, and sometimes when i dont know who is helping me.. helps me.. if that makes sense..
It makes more sense to me than it rationally should. I can relate to the ways in which self harm can warp your thoughts and how it consumes you.
I'm glad to have helped and that you're doing better. If you need any support, advice, or just want to chat, I'm here :) Best wishes.
It makes perfect sense, Falling.Up. For instance, I was scared to let the people that I know read some of my stories because the had arker themes. It's a lot easier for a faceless stanger to judge what I read, because they won't really judge me personally, if that makes any sense.
thank you, Jubilex! same for you, too..
dragonsandthree, that makes perfect sense, also.. because, like if someone you know reads your work that has darker themes or alternative meanings, they get all, "oh, somethings wrong with them, look at what they write!" you know? i never have my mom or dad or anyone in family or close family relations read anything by me..
Yeah. For instance, once my mom found the stories online, she told one of my friend's mom. My friend was teasing me the other day, and long story short, she told her mom that she had read me story, and I could have sworn that my friend's mom had a wierd look on her face.
I once wrote a story about a boy committing suicide (I submitted it here too, so it's on my profile page). I showed it to a lot of my friends and even handed it up as an assignment. I think my friends understood that while I was depressed, I wasn't suicidal (never have been, technically), and my teacher understood that it was fiction.
I do get how it can be misinterpreted though, especially by people who don't really understand what's going on. I don't believe I ever showed it to anyone in my family, because I didn't want them making assumptions.
yeah, see i wrote a fictional story that was based on a true event, but it was about a boy who committed suicide (it was posted on here at one time, but i might have deleted it), and i submitted it as an assignment, and yes, i was depressed at the time, but my english teacher thought I was going to commit suicide, because i wrote the story in second person, and i had asked advice about how to help a friend who was suicidal... ugh, it was a mess, i was put on suicide watch and everything... yeah we all kind of have the same stories lol
Yeah. i see two majors differnces though: in my story agirl comitted suicide and I've never been depressed for more than a day.
Hi. I struggle with multiple kinds of self-harm as well, and here's an idea I have:
Everyday, tell yourself 'hey, don't hurt yourself today, and if you feel this way tomorrow, maybe we can see...". But the trick is, tell yourself this everyday, so that day you think you should hurt yourself never comes. Also, decisions you may make to self-harm are usually impulsive (or, that's how it is for me sometimes) and if you can find something else to do to pass the time and handle whatever triggered you, you might find yourself feeling better and/or thinking more rationally.
You seem like a lovely person and you don't need to hurt yourself. I'm sorry you struggle with this, but know you have support and you're not alone, okay?