I met this 13 year old boy in an IRC on time and it turned out we were interested in a lot of the same sort of things. We've been text chatting on and off for about six months now and become pretty good friends. We pretty much trust each other.
He told me he comes from an abusive home, but overall I'd say he's "normal." Maybe slightly ADD. Anyway, about a month ago he got taken to an insane asylum for a few days. There was no particular reason and they let him out when they realized it was just someone messing with them, but while he was there he met someone he calls the "psyco girl." He promptly fell in love with her, and now that they're both out they're starting some sort of relationship.
Apparently she's anorexic and cuts and lacks a bunch of normal prohibitions. Before he knew her he didn't cut (as far as I know), but since he met her he's started cutting in sympathy. He sent me a pic and it's pretty bad. This morning he told me she showed him her b.oobs yesterday.
I don't want to seem like a mean friend not "approving" of his relationship, but I'm also worried it's going to make him self-destructive. If the relationship goes further things might get worse. What do I do? Being homeschooled I've never really interacted with someone who cuts before. What do I say?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Coming from a girl who has seen many of these things before(I live in a town where everyone pretty much has an issue) I would tell him your concerns. Yet I would also encourage him to get her help and to help her stop hurting herself. It would also seem wise for you to help him stop hurting himself so that way no more damage will hopefully occur.
Many people who do things for sympathy can sometimes not understand the consequences because they're not concerned about their well-being at that moment. If you bring it to his attention in a way that's not stand-off-ish and sounds sincere he might just listen to you. I hope everything works out okay and that this advice helps:)
Thanks. I'll see how it goes....
Hmmm it seems to me like you might like him as more than a friend...I might be wrong, but still. It sounds like you're a little jealous. Or else maybe I'm getting it all wrong and you're just worried about him. Don't worry: I would be worried too. Cutting is never good, even if it's for sympathy. Maybe you should talk to his parents? Or an adult that is close to him? (Priest, teacher, policeman, counselor, aunt, uncle, best friend, etc.) Or maybe--just maybe--you could contact the asylum he got sent to? It seems like it wasnt really an INSANE asylum but a rehab center. Again, I might be wrong....anyway, let us know how it works out :) Good luck!!
Haha. That's what I'm afraid it'll sound like. Really, he's just a friend. We never talked about love or anything like that until this came up, just music and hobbies and stuff like that. I was fine with the relationship until he told me about starting to cut.
Thing is I don't know him that well. I know he lives with his semi-abusive dad in Sweden and that's about it. He doesn't seem to have many good friends, adult or otherwise. Maybe his older brother? Hmmm.
Well, thanks for the advice.