Facebook Activity



Teen Ink on Twitter

Home > Forums > Teen Ink Forums > Health > No way out

Teen Ink Forums

Lively discussions with other teens
   
freeday15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Feb. 17, 2013 at 9:45 pm

Lately i have been feeling like there is just no hope at all, i really just want to end my life sometimes, i dont know. I was in rehab for awhile and still am but i have really low self esteem and its hard to do anthing anymore when this little voice inside my head puts me down. i constantly think about just ending my life and getting it over with, it just seems so...easy. I dont know, the idea seems thrilling, like maybe a part of me still wants death. I self harm alot lately and i tried talking to my mom but she doesnt understand. What should i do? I think im about to snap... Please someone help me.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
NDserpente replied...
Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:45 pm

Hey, I don't know how qualified I am to help you with this, but I'll try.  I haven't been in deep depression, but I was super stressed last year, and "ending it" seemed easy.

Please don't.  Listen:  It will pass.  Whatever is wrong, whatever is happening, it will pass.  I always told myself, "Eventually I'll remember it."  For me, it was problems with my grades and being overworked in my sport. Both of them ended.

I've dealt with bullies as well.  They're easier for me, because I know that I won't be seeing them soon enough.  People go away, they go to college, and you forget about them.

Death is not "thrilling".  I just had my aunt die from cancer.  She was the most fantastic person.  She had a daughter with cerebal palsy, and just absolutely loved animals.  Now she's dead, with no extra chances.

Listen, you're alive.  You have a life, a chance.  I don't know too much about your situation, but you can be whoever you want to be.  You can control your life.  I know it's hard, but the most important thing is getting through alive.
 Eventually, you'll grow up, and look back and be glad you didn't.

There are so many things left to be experienced.  Live for something--a cause, a person, a thing.  Just keep on living, and eventually you'll start to come back to the happy times.

 It does get better--no matter what you're up against.
Feel free to contact me, or reply, or anything.  Just stay alive, kay?  I don't even you know, but I care about you.
Nicole

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
NDserpente replied...
Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:50 pm

And man, I just skimmed through your work.  You're an awesome poet.  I could never manage to write poetry--I'm not "free" enough, I guess.  I really do love your poems.  Be grateful for that.  Just write it out, and it will pass.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
freeday15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:53 am

Thanks guys, I guess I just need to take it one day at a time and get through it.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
SteelersJdog replied...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Hey freeday, you've got a whole group of people here that care about you. People can say whatever they want, but you were created, on purpose, as a beautiful and special individual. You will accomplish great things throughout your life because that's what you were created to do.
Just don't give up. That solves nothing, and it leaves a whole host of problems for the loved ones around you. Take it one day at a time, breathe, and recognize that you are an amazing individual that is dearly loved.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:54 am

Oh my god, please don't hurt yourself. It doesn't matter who you are, you matter to SOMEONE. I don't feel qualified for this either but I can't just read your post and say nothing. So... Please know that people care about you! What about your life can't you stand? Because after death, there's no going back, no chance to make things better... No anything.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
freeday15 replied...
Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:04 pm

I just can't stand feeling the way I do anymore. I have tried therapy and everything but I have just lost the will to do anything anymore. Every day I wake up hating myself and wishing I wad dead. I look in the mirror and I can't stand to see myself. I know people care and if death means no more pain, well then it just sounds better without so much pain you know? I will still go on living, Just a different way I guess. I mean, I've tried it before but my mom caught me and I wad admitted to a hospital. I probably shouldn't still want to do this. I just give up.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:08 pm

But look at all the wonderful things life has to offer! :) Chocolate, kisses, hugs, teddy bears, children, ... My g.od, even boys! (Sorry, I'm a girl :) ) anyways, I'm not trying to downplay your pain, I was depressed once. But I realized that happiness is a decision you make, it's not a feeling. I decided that even though I couldn't stand myself sometimes, I was going to keep on trying to find a purpose for my life because that's what G.od wants me to do. When I get sad, I focus on others and helping them makes me proud of the person I am and hopeful that I will make a difference. The fact that you made this thread proves that you haven't really given up! :)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Run2Liv3 replied...
Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:28 pm

i have never been through what you're going through, but i know a lot of people who have that are very close to me. trust me: killing yourself is NOT the answer to your problems. the only thing that ending your life will do is leave people who cared about you feeling worse than you did, and they can possibly start feeling depressed as well, just as you did. take it one day at a time, and i promise you things WILL get better. life has so much to offer you. it may not seem like that now, but give it a little time. every day when you wake up, try finding something in your life (for example a friend/family member that you just couldnt live without; or a memory that you smile about every time it crosses your mind). as soon as you find it, try remembering exactly how you felt at that moment. then hold on to it for the rest of the day. do the same thing for whenever you feel like killing yourself. find that one person that means the world to you and think about how they would be effected if you weren't in their lives anymore. please dont end you life. you are here for a reason, and you are going to do great things in your life. stay strong:) we are all here for you

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
freeday15 replied...
Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:55 am

I have tried thinking of some one or something good or worth it in my life. I do that every day but its like whenever I do it gets taken away from me or shot down. My mom is always asking me what's wrong and if I try to explain it to her she just doesn't get it and tells me not to feel that way anymore to just knock it off but its not that easy. Idk maybe I should just knock it off and pretend everything is okay again. Just the more I think about it the more I realize that there really isn't a reason for me to stay and feel more pain. If I didn't have more control over myself I would probably be gone already so I guess I'm strong enough to get through this.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 22, 2013 at 10:57 am

If you ever want to talk about it more, let me know:)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
freeday15 replied...
Feb. 22, 2013 at 11:19 pm

Thanks rarelyJaded and run2liv3 :)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RachaelSmiles replied...
Mar. 11, 2013 at 5:44 pm

When I was fifteen, I tried ending my life. 
It is not nearly as great as you would think. It was terrifying; I cut too deep and I knew when I had gone too far. Everything started getting hazy and I felt really sick. The world spun and I passed out. I would have died if it hadn't been for my mom and an ambulance. 
After that, I realized that life is really worth it. Trust me, I know where you've been. I know how desperate and hurt you are, I know how much you just want to let go and not hurt anymore, but it's not worth it. I saw my family and friends' faces when they saw my cuts and were worried that I wouldn't make it. It's not something anyone should see. You don't want to inflict that pain on anyone else, and moreover, yourself.
Life does go on, and there is so much beauty to be found, if only you look. I know it seems hopeless now, but it really isn't! I know you can make it through this, but you have to decide. 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 11, 2013 at 7:04 pm

^ agreed. Death isn't glamorous, but it can be peaceful — just not when you end it yourself, as a product of all these negative emotions.

Stay strong! We all care about you! :P

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
freeday15 replied...
Mar. 13, 2013 at 8:51 pm

I'm really trying. Just a few days ago by boyfriend asked me what was wrong and I broke down crying. He knows everything now and its just really hard. I think Monday I self harmed and I almost went too far. I had to stop myself because I would have probably bled profusely. I'm trying to get better though. Its just really hard.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 14, 2013 at 3:44 am

It's good that you told your boyfriend. Having that kind of support is really important.
 
I missed this thread when you first started it. I'm sorry it took me so long to find it.
 
It is hard to get better, but it's great that you're trying. Remember, this is something for you. It's not for your boyfriend, or your parents, or friends, or God (if any of that is applicabale), it's for your own sake. So that you can have the life you deserve. One without all this pain.
 
You mentiuoned therapy, and the problem that a lot of depresse dpeople face is that they find it difficult to do the things asked of them by their therapsts. Sometimes it all seems too hard, or the therapist doesn't suit your personality, or their methods aren't the things that would work best for you. My advice for these types of issues is persistence. I know it's hard, and it probably doesn't feel worth it a lot of the time, but in order to get better, there is going to be a lot of effort involved.
 
You can do this. I know it. I believe in you.
 
If you want to talk about anything, I'm here :)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 14, 2013 at 10:19 am

Hang in there :P


Please don't ever give up on life, because after it ends you won't find peace. There isn't nothingness beyond this life, there are consequences. Let the choice you make regarding your life be a good one, as many people value yours very highly. Keep your head up, you'll be in my prayers ;) and I hope your family and boyfriend are supporting you through this time.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:18 pm

freeday: If your posts aren't going through, you might have been using words that are being censored. If you use swears, se.xual terms (including words like pre.gnant), make sure to put full stops in them like I did. Some words which have usually innocent meanings also get censored sometimes, like ba.lls and co.ck.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
freeday15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:32 pm

Yeah, that might have been why they aren't going through. But thank you guys. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. Its just hard when everything gets to you at once and you don't know when the madness will ever end.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:59 pm

Are you being bullied? :(

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback