I say sorry too much
I'm too forgiving
I hope too much
I believe I'm depressed
and there's self-harm...but I'm trying to stop...
I either talk too much...or too little
I can only communicate what's REALLY wrong with me through writing it's just a jumble of half completed words ideas and phrases when I talk.
I'm not good enough
I always feel so alone
I have a bad sense for time and place which gets me in trouble alot...
i think we should post things that are RIGHTTT with us! ;D
Thanks for sharing. There's so much more going on beneath the surface than most let on to. You guys are damn bold to put yourselves out there. God bless.
i used to pull out my hair... i don't know if it was thrich or something less. i never saw anyone about it (until my scalp got infected). it would get worse when i was in a lot of stress. i would play with this one spot on the back of my head, without realizing it, even when i would just be talking to people. before i knew it, i had about a four-inch circle of hair missing from my head, with bloody scabs. when the glands at the base of my neck got swollen i found out i had acutally picked it utill it was infected. i tried to pretend like it wasn't a big deal, like it wasn't something i needed help with, like i just did it when i was stressed but when people watch you digging into your scalp with your fingernails and working on the computer like nothing's going on, they notice but they just don't say anything. i made small goals and tried to find other ways to destress. i still play with the same spot and scrath but not to the point where i break the skin, and i don't actually pull the hair out anymore. i have about 4 inches of hair now on the back of my head and i pull the strands to the side where i can see it in the mirror and it feels good to know that for the time it took to grow it that long, i haven't pulled it out, that i've been ok.
- I am fake, I have deppresion but make people belive I am happy and everything is under control
- I don't try and school and am almost failing
-I have exzema
-I am over weight
-I think about suicide constaly
-I forget about everything
-I use to cut now I uncociously scratch my self and have scars all over my arms because of it
-I am allergic to grass
-I have an iron deficency
- I don't care about anything
- I am bisexual though I am christian and hate it
-I hate myself
Oh gosh...here goes.
A Complete List Of All The Things That Are Wrong With Me:
1.) I look diferent than other girls my age. They wear preppy clothes like Aeropostale and Abercrombie, while I wear heavy metal band tees and jeans. I also wear no makeup and I don't really make a big deal out of hair. (All of these things have gotten me called a butch lesbian and an ugly dyke on more than one occaision).
2.) I weigh nearly three hundred pounds and can't seem to tear myself away from food. This, too, has made me the target for a lot of very hurtful remarks from other people at my school.
3.) Both of my parents are alcoholics. I know this doesn't directly deal with anything that's wrong with me specifically. However, sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm the one who drives them to drink. They also fight a lot while drunk, and when they fight I can't help but wonder if they're maybe fighting over something I said or did.
4.) I have a mental illness--depression. It controls nearly every little aspect of my life. I can't seem to enjoy anything anymore and it's like I am constantly looking through a tinted lense--everything is dark and unappealing. I can't see the point in anything, not even living. I often have suicidal thoughts because of this 'disorder'.
5.) I am socially 'inept'. No matter what, I just cannot seem to work up the nerve to talk to other people, especially kids at my school. This is because of the bullying I've endured throughout my life in school (in all, over a decade-long history of being bullied). I've learned that anything I say can be used as a weapon against me. So, to save myself that trouble, I just don't talk. This means I have no social life apart from the internet whatsoever.
6.) I cut myself. It started in August 2010 when my dad was drunk and yelled at me (I can't remember now what for). However, that particular incident set me into a thicket of rage I just couldn't seem to work myself out of. However, I couldn't take my anger out on my dad, because he would have only yelled at me more. I also couldn't take it out on my mom because she would have done the same. So, I turned inward and took out the anger on myself, the only other person left. And, well, let's just say I found out pretty quick how good that kind of release can feel when your angry. I've been cutting myself ever since.
So, yeah, that right there is a complete list of all the things that are 'wrong' with me. It's pretty extensive, I would say.
i have severe depression and anxiety. my depression has lead to numerous bouts of self harm and two undiscovered suicide attempts (shhs) and one hospitalization. I also have trichtillomania and i eat the hair i pull out. I peel my skin off my fingers, toes and cheeks. I also have a bit of schizoid personality and am highly socially awkward. i have an irrational fear of love, boys and etc.
um, i also have PCOS [polycystic ovary syndrome] and that p much kills my self image regularly. my knees have fluid in their caps and my feet have not arch which leads my ankles to jut out~.
[i feel a bit better gettting that out. ]