I say sorry too much
I'm too forgiving
I hope too much
I believe I'm depressed
and there's self-harm...but I'm trying to stop...
I either talk too much...or too little
I can only communicate what's REALLY wrong with me through writing it's just a jumble of half completed words ideas and phrases when I talk.
I'm not good enough
I always feel so alone
I have a bad sense for time and place which gets me in trouble alot...
i think we should post things that are RIGHTTT with us! ;D
Thanks for sharing. There's so much more going on beneath the surface than most let on to. You guys are damn bold to put yourselves out there. God bless.
i used to pull out my hair... i don't know if it was thrich or something less. i never saw anyone about it (until my scalp got infected). it would get worse when i was in a lot of stress. i would play with this one spot on the back of my head, without realizing it, even when i would just be talking to people. before i knew it, i had about a four-inch circle of hair missing from my head, with bloody scabs. when the glands at the base of my neck got swollen i found out i had acutally picked it utill it was infected. i tried to pretend like it wasn't a big deal, like it wasn't something i needed help with, like i just did it when i was stressed but when people watch you digging into your scalp with your fingernails and working on the computer like nothing's going on, they notice but they just don't say anything. i made small goals and tried to find other ways to destress. i still play with the same spot and scrath but not to the point where i break the skin, and i don't actually pull the hair out anymore. i have about 4 inches of hair now on the back of my head and i pull the strands to the side where i can see it in the mirror and it feels good to know that for the time it took to grow it that long, i haven't pulled it out, that i've been ok.
- I am fake, I have deppresion but make people belive I am happy and everything is under control
- I don't try and school and am almost failing
-I have exzema
-I am over weight
-I think about suicide constaly
-I forget about everything
-I use to cut now I uncociously scratch my self and have scars all over my arms because of it
-I am allergic to grass
-I have an iron deficency
- I don't care about anything
- I am bisexual though I am christian and hate it
-I hate myself
Oh gosh...here goes.
A Complete List Of All The Things That Are Wrong With Me:
1.) I look diferent than other girls my age. They wear preppy clothes like Aeropostale and Abercrombie, while I wear heavy metal band tees and jeans. I also wear no makeup and I don't really make a big deal out of hair. (All of these things have gotten me called a butch lesbian and an ugly dyke on more than one occaision).
2.) I weigh nearly three hundred pounds and can't seem to tear myself away from food. This, too, has made me the target for a lot of very hurtful remarks from other people at my school.
3.) Both of my parents are alcoholics. I know this doesn't directly deal with anything that's wrong with me specifically. However, sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm the one who drives them to drink. They also fight a lot while drunk, and when they fight I can't help but wonder if they're maybe fighting over something I said or did.
4.) I have a mental illness--depression. It controls nearly every little aspect of my life. I can't seem to enjoy anything anymore and it's like I am constantly looking through a tinted lense--everything is dark and unappealing. I can't see the point in anything, not even living. I often have suicidal thoughts because of this 'disorder'.
5.) I am socially 'inept'. No matter what, I just cannot seem to work up the nerve to talk to other people, especially kids at my school. This is because of the bullying I've endured throughout my life in school (in all, over a decade-long history of being bullied). I've learned that anything I say can be used as a weapon against me. So, to save myself that trouble, I just don't talk. This means I have no social life apart from the internet whatsoever.
6.) I cut myself. It started in August 2010 when my dad was drunk and yelled at me (I can't remember now what for). However, that particular incident set me into a thicket of rage I just couldn't seem to work myself out of. However, I couldn't take my anger out on my dad, because he would have only yelled at me more. I also couldn't take it out on my mom because she would have done the same. So, I turned inward and took out the anger on myself, the only other person left. And, well, let's just say I found out pretty quick how good that kind of release can feel when your angry. I've been cutting myself ever since.
So, yeah, that right there is a complete list of all the things that are 'wrong' with me. It's pretty extensive, I would say.
i have severe depression and anxiety. my depression has lead to numerous bouts of self harm and two undiscovered suicide attempts (shhs) and one hospitalization. I also have trichtillomania and i eat the hair i pull out. I peel my skin off my fingers, toes and cheeks. I also have a bit of schizoid personality and am highly socially awkward. i have an irrational fear of love, boys and etc.
um, i also have PCOS [polycystic ovary syndrome] and that p much kills my self image regularly. my knees have fluid in their caps and my feet have not arch which leads my ankles to jut out~.
[i feel a bit better gettting that out. ]
I'm really passionate about stuff so I get really loud sometimes during inappropriate times.
I have a bad back so I can't really like climb trees or anything like that. Kind of sucks.
I write all the time, and this kind of gets me in trouble during car rides, class, and lunch.
I sometimes hear things and see things and believe them. Like seriously a ghost told me to go ask a guy out one night when I couldn't sleep I did and it changed my life turned out he loved me and wanted to ask me out.
I'm pretty much obbsessed with friends that don't live where I do because they're so much more interesting.
I always make Doctor Who references that only my ex would get but no one ever does so I get made fun of.
I've actually thought about attempting. (This doesn't sound bad but I thought it for like 3 days in a row and snuck a knife into my room)
I have really bad body issues like I think I'm really ugly. I'm awkward and like different so I think that I'm super ugly and awkward and not cool and all sorts of stuff.
I'm really eccentric and partially insane. I also am the MOST LIBERAL PERSON IN MY GRADE. And so therefore, since I live in WY, I am pretty much alone here. ;(
But I have a lot wrong with me it's just hard to be myself when no one seems to like the real me.
Here it goes :
- I don't trust people
- I have the constant feeling that everybody is going to abandon me
- I need to fight my true feelings so I try to be someone I'm not
- Over thinking
- Bipolar disorder
- I like to be alone
- I suffered of eating disorder but not anymore
- Nobody knows about all of this 'cause I'm hiding it
- I ask myself questions that my friends find weird "Why is the sky blue ?" "Why am I here and not somewhere else ?"
- I blame some of my family members for all of this.
I'm happy with who I am but I would like to be confident enough to finally accept the real me.
Me? Oh where do i begin?
I pressure myself to always do better (till i break)
I have anxiety attacks
I have to different personalities but im not bipolar
I have the temper of a king cobra
I never have enough energy to lose weight
I have the handwriting abilities of a third grader
I'm anti-social (Hermits unite)
I get bullied alot .-.
I don't like chocolate
I have a terrible gas problem
I get hay-fever every blasted year
I have crooked pinkies (yes they are very gross)
My legs are very hairy
But as one of my poems state
"We are different, and, you have to admit, it'd be boring if we were!"
Hmm I guess it's my turn... I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) things have to be a certain way or I freak out. I have no common sense, I am book smart not street smart. I've been bullied most of my life. I have depression, but it's not the one that can go away with counseling.. I used to be a cutter, I still have the scars, on my face and my wrist. I almost committed suicide. I am a loner I am very blunt, so if you want the hard truth trust that you will get it from me I have unsteady hands, which means they shake even if it's just a little bit. So therefore my handwriting isn't that great. I wear glasses I am borderline diabetic To some people I'm super skinny which is wrong because I'm averagely built, anyways they think I'm anorexic even though I eat like a freakin lion. I have anger management issues, have had them since the third grade. I have tendanitous in both of my arms so it is very painful to play the instruments I love But dispute all my faults I'm still me and I can't change and that's perfectly fine. From a poem I have on the site::::::
I'm not really sure if this is a poem, but i just wanted to share it with everyone. and When you finish please do this for me...Change the "you's" to "I's" and the "are's" to "am's" and whatever else needs to be changed, and read ti again. You are worth it You can do anything You are smart You are talented You are beautiful/handsome You are worth more than anything You are not worth nothing You are worth a gazillion words You are awesome You are loved You do have a purpose You are a great person You can do many things You are not ugly You are not stupid You are here for a reason You are very, very special Because you are you, And you do not need to change You were made like this for a reason
-I have asthma -say I'm sorry ways to much -I self harm ( but am in recovery yayyy) -I have depression -I have OCD -I always end up trusting people that only hurt me. -my ex was abusive but I let the relationship continue for about ten months til my guidance counsellor intervened - i hate my body (5'6 and 114 lbs) -I become attached way to easily