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.Hannibal. posted this thread...
Sept. 10, 2012 at 4:48 pm

So, I think I had a bit of a breakdown . . . idk. My parents were yelling and all that sh.it, and I normally would try to leave, or tell them to stop or cry. But then I just felt like . . . empty. And like I didn't care at first. So then I went to practice violin. And I got through several songs before I realized I wanted to write. Writing is a bit like my self-therapy; I have a journal where I'll just spew my emotions and it will normally help me calm down. But this time it didn't. Instead I started to feel stranger and stranger, and I felt like I was like detached and floating. And when I look back at what I wrote . . . it's really strange. Really, really strange. And then I finally started to cry. Not like sobbing crying, just silent tears. And the way I felt then I can't really describe, it was weird and out of it and seriously not normal. Almost a little insane. Then I almost broke my violin, I felt the urge to break something. And I tried to break the string, but I couldn't, and for some reason that really really messed me up. So I undid the string and tried to break it with my hands, but I couldn't, and I kept twisting it around my fingers until it cut into my skin and I bled a bit (it was the e string) and so I was sitting in the chair silently crying with my hand bleeding and my violin missing a string, and I don't know what was going on in my head. It was not normal, it was totally irrational and scary, and when I look back, I think there was something seriously wrong with me. Any help?

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