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Depression: Info, help, discussion

WarlockThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:49 pm

Hi, my name is Warlock and i also went through depression. It never starts like that its a slow process. I started cutting myself when I was 14 and i thought it was cool but i never told anyone...Then. I told my mom and dad and they sugested things (i thought it was cool having problems) . Then it did become a problem,when my sister ran away, it was  hard on me it WAS her way of saying "F u all and i dont give a care about u." It hurt so bad that i started cutting cuz i was sad and i couldnt stop cutting. I lost all of my firends and it was just me. I felt like people didnt understand me and couldnt see me. I stoped cutting a few monthes after my 15th b-day......i am so addicted to cutting that even thinking about it makes me want to do it.........but i fight with myself and i win. Ive gotten to the point that i just get up and walk. I dont go into my room and i never go into the kitchen. I always look for my aunt.She helps me alot.

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 4, 2013 at 7:48 pm

I'm glad you're fighting that urge. I know how addicitve cutting can be and I'm proud of you for making the effort to stop :)
 
If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

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WarlockThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 5, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Thank you..............i know i'll need it..=)

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 5, 2013 at 4:08 pm

???? I thought Jade died........

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 5, 2013 at 4:12 pm

Omg sorry, i was looking at the second second page... I guess that was a long time ago. I was confused as to why jade's post would..... Never mind.
Sorry for distracting from your thread jubilex

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:14 pm

Jade died??? :( :( :(
 
That's so sad :(

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:59 pm

She lost her baby and committed Sui.cide. Her mom posted a goodbye thread for her, it IS really sad:(

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:17 pm

I remember hearing about how she lost her baby. I knew she was depressed and that it was very difficult to her, but I missed the goodbye thread.
 
Da.mn. She was a good kid :(

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DreamAngel replied...
Mar. 14, 2013 at 7:17 pm

Hey,
I talk to a therapist weekly and she told me that I am depressed, but not clinically so. It's definitely there, and meds could help, but it's not at a level where they are needed.
It gets pretty bad, because even though i want to be around to help people and all that (My dream is to be a doctor) not to mention my family, I feel like a burden. I gotta figure out how to throw away these tapes in my head, but they're comforting in a sense...
I dunno, I don't feel up or comfortable to talking about it that much...

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:37 pm

Hey DreamAngel.
 
I'm a med student, and I'm also depressed. I know I said earlier in this thread that I went into remission, but it came back. I'm still able to cope prettty well, but it can be hard sometimes. That said, I'm generally functional (an occasional slip here and there), so I'm doing pretty well for myself.
 
Depression is very common in the medical profession. In medicine, they teach you to separate your own personal self from your work self (seems harsh, but it is necessary and helpful), so I find it doesn't come into play when I'm actually in front of a patient, but it definitely affects confidence in class and study ability.
 
Misery is addictive. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've felt that way for a long time. It's easier to stay where you are, to get used to that. It's so much harder to change, and that thought can be scary. So misery becomes a comfortable state.
 
If you want to talk about things, then I'm here. May I ask why you don't feel comfortable talking about it much?

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 14, 2013 at 10:30 pm

^ I used to be depressed too. When I was feeling like that constantly, I didn't even want to change. I liked the feeling of self-pity and I was just comfortable with feeling like my life sucked and I didn't deserve it. On the other hand, I would constantly tell myself how ugly I am and how nobody cared about me—it's addictive. It was like a mantra I played over and over, and eventually I started to believe it. It's much harder to look at the positive things about yourself and the world, but you owe it to yourself to get to a better place. You only get one life, and it will be what you make of it. I don't know how I got out of that vicious cycle, maybe just sheer perseverance and force of will.

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slow-life replied...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:28 pm

Hi there. 
Well, I've always really had a pretty rough home life, but that never used to bother me when I was younger. In fact, I had a pretty happy childhood. But then when I got into high school, things started taking a turn for the worse. All of a sudden I was ambushed with all this stress and anxiety, along with my home situation, and I slowly digressed into what I am now.
I've seen therapists my whole life (due to my family situation), but they never really helped a whole lot. I'm on Prozac, but I dont really think it's making a difference. 
I just feel so... crappy all the time. I feel like I used to be a much, much better person. I'm just constantly tired. Everyday. The things that used to make me really happy, and laugh all the time, just... don't anymore. 
I'm on the high school swim team, and during the off-season I swim for a club team (basically year round). I have great friends, and grandparents and a sister that love me and support me. There's not really any reason for me to be like this. But I am. And it sucks. Please help. I'm so tired of being this way.

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:08 am

If your medication isn't working, I suggest you let your doctor know. You might be better off with a different one. Antidepressants can be a bit hit and miss.
 
What is it exactly that you want help with? I don't want to just dive in an offer advice on areas that might not be what you want. 
 
I've been depressed for a long time, so I can offer quite a bit. If something I've said doesn't suit you, or isn't what you're looking for, please say so. I'm happy to do what I can. 
 
It's worth wile to note that change (particularly difficult change) is best achieved in small steps. You don't have to expect everything to change at once. It takes time.

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slow-life replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 5:41 pm

Yeah, I'm totally open to any advice you can give me. There's not any specific area that I need in it... just anything helps, really. I just want to get better. 

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 9:22 pm

Well, like I said above, take things in small steps.
 
Try making small changes to your life. Maybe do an area or a few at a time (making too many changes at once could over complicate things and make the whole process much harder). Maybe start with something simple, like eating properly and healthily (if that's a concern for you. I know I used to eat very inconsistantly, skip meals because I couldnt be bothered, etc). If you find it hard to eat lots, then introduce small amounts of healthy food where you didn't used to eat at all. That is if this is a problem, of course. If it's not, then there's obviously no need to change :)
 
But there's lots of other areas that can be looked at. Sleeping well, talking to people more freely (conversational/social skills are often affected in depression). There's often difficulty in enjoying things. You said how the things that used to make you happy don't anymore. This can make it really hard to battle that cloud of misery.
 
When I felt down, I tended to try and live life like I would if I wasn't feeling it at all. After a while it becomes habit. But this is a long process, and it takes a lot of push and pull to see what works. Sometimes you won't be able to find the energy to do homework, or talk to people, or go swimming. If it's really crippling, then there's always the option to go and do something else. And this is where the push and pull comes in. Finding out what works for you in what situations.
 
Okay, I've talked for a bit. Let me know what you think, if you have any questions, want any further advice, etc.

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SaraKoizumi replied...
Apr. 20, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Hi, I have a problem with depression it's not severe yet, but it's getting worse.
It started last year when a guy I liked completely dissed me without even realizing it, but I took it as I wasn't good enough for him, I wasn't pretty enough, etc. 
I began to hate myself after that, I began bullying myself in my mind, I don't cut at the moment, and I'm not suicidal...yet, but I'm having a really difficult time. I've only told a few friends about my depression, and my parents haven't noticed because I always pretend to be happy, and like I don't hate myself more with every bite of food I take, with every dumb word I say.
I'd really like to become happier, and to stop being depressed all the time, but I don't know how.

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:35 am

Hey SaraKoizumi,
 
I'm glad you've come here to ask for help, that's a good first step.
 
As for what you can do, well, that can vary. My depression didn't start off as very severe either, but it kept escalating over time. There were lots of things that I did that hindered my ability to cope, and just ended up pulling me further down.
 
I'd suggest you start small. If possible, try to keep up with the regular things in your life. I know this can be difficult, but it'll really make things easier in the long run. Things like, eating well, sleeping well (that can be a tough one), staying social, hanging out./talking to friends, keeping up with your homework, etc. Essentally keeping yourself functional.
 
I know it can be a lot to work on at once, so I suggest taking things one step at a time. Just do what you can manage. You don't have to feel bad about slipping up here and there. You'll make mistakes and get things wrong, that's normal. That's human. It might take some time to find a rhythm that suits you, that you can work with. Feel free to add in your own things, rather than just running with mine. I know what worked for me, but I don't know what will work for you. Your personal preference could hugely differ from mine.
 
Try to remember that this guy doesn't define you. You do.
 
I know my ideas have been pretty simplistic, so if you want to expand, or ask something different, or want some other ideas, etc, feel free to ask. I/m happy to do what I can. If you think anything that I've said isn't what you've wanted, then feel free to mention that too. I want to learn and adjust, so that I can offer what will actually help you.

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SaraKoizumi replied...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 6:15 pm

Thanks, this has really helped. I'll be working on this for sure.

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 6:57 pm

I'm glad. I hope things work out for you :)

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JubilexThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 5, 2013 at 11:45 pm

Bringing this back in case someone else wants to post.

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