Hey Jubilex...that is exactly what i have been afraid of, withdrawing away from people.. I am so scared that I am doing that..I just like to stay alone ...don't like being around people..I am so afraid that I will get hurt...and moreover this thing with my friend is affecting my studies...! I dont want that to happen..I am just so scared of everything these days.. i feel like the less i talk to people about what is happening the less i will get hurt.. so i have build this wall around me to protect myself! I hate doing this to myself! Even the guys are a little hesitant to talk to me cuz she told them not to..I dont know what to do now! i no one to talk to except you...
I did a lot of that too. I withdrew from pretty much everyone. I had a close friend that I could talk to though, but everyone else I pretty much stayed away from. It was a bit of what you described, the fear of being hurt, and a bit to do with not wanting to push my sadness upon other people. Also I often didn't feel up to much (depression made me lose a lot of interest in things), so that contributed to the withdrawl as well.
I know it's hard to do, but I'd suggest avoiding that as much as possible. Maybe start with some baby steps. Start by saying hi and having some small conversations with people, or hanging around with some friends at lunch, or something like that. Essentially, anything that will help you maintain a level of interaction with people. I know it's scary, and it might make you feel anxious, or feel awkward at first, but it gets easier over time. And that way you won't suddenly find yourself with no one.
I'm always here to talk to if you need it :)
Jubilex I am so angry! like not the kinds where you just shout at someone and get over it! NO! the angry i am is like wanting to beat up someone! I did exactly what you asked me, took baby steps and started talking to my juniors and seniors basicaly anybody other than my best friend and her group!
Now that started having friends and being happy, she is starting to taunt me on my face like she doesnt say anything to me directly but everybody knows its meant for me! I JUST HATE HER! and all i wanna do is slap her and show her place! Moreover she comes to me when she needs some help with her schoolwork..and I dont say no cuz i dont want her to know that what she is doing to me is affecting me!
I dont hate anyone more than i hate her,and i want nothing else but her to realize how much she has hurt me and get the hell out of my life!
PriyaA: Your latest reply didn't show up. You likely used a word that is censored on the site. Any swear word gets caught in the filter and the whole post doesn't go through (unless the mods allow it and they haven't been around for a while). Also words like pre.gnant can get caught too. Some religious terms used to be and I'm not sure which ones still are. Also words relating to se.x or dr.ugs often get filtered (although not all of them do).
If you put full stops in between some of the letters in those words, then they'll still appear and the post will still go through. Alternatively you can avoid using those types of words (this obviously works better for swears than some of the other words).
Oh, also, links get caught in the filter too. Anything with ht.tp, dot co.m or the at symbol.
Jubilex I am just really angry right now like i want ot hi.t some one angry types! I am angry at my best friend! She thinks that she is all high and mighty! and i am someone she can just walk over whenever she likes! i just hate her!
i did exactly what you asked me to, took baby steps and started talking to new people! my best friend got frustrated at this! so now that i was happy she started taunting me, she wouldnt say anything to me directly but everybody knows its meant for me! i dont get what her problem is!?
she is always doing something or the other that will get me to react in an aggressive manner! She does come to me when she needs help with her school work and i dont say no cuz i dont want her to know that what she is doing is hurting me..I am so angry that whenever i see her face i just want to sl.a.p her!
I have never been the aggressive kinds but her taunts hurt me so much that i feel like doing something rash!! I just want her to get the He.l.l out of my life! i h.at.e her like from the core of my heart!
I am scared if her habits continue i will end up doing something agrressive that i will regret later!
lost my babay than my partener than my best friend, alos just got out of hospital for trying to cut my throat D: im so mentally unstable at the moment
Sweetie, possibly you should consider checking in to the mental health clinic in your local hospital for as long as your insurence will cover. It sounds like you are going through a terrible time (a time I've been in, unfortunatly) and you need some conditioning and rejuvinating. I wish someone would have suggested I go to facility, because it sure would have done me some good.
<3 If you need someone to speak with, I am here for you.
Sorry it's taken me a while to reply.
Jade: I agree with RBrown. Maybe you might benefit from some professional help? As they suggested, a mental health clinic might really help you. If you really don't want to go to one, then try a psychologists or some kind of mental health counsellor/therapist. I recommend someone who specialises in CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I'm really concerned for your wellbeing. I know what happened to you was terrible, but you deserve to have a better life. Please find some help.
PriyaA: I really think this "friend" of yours isn't worth your time. She sounds like she's being a right bi.tch. I'd encourage you to confront her, explain what she is doing is not okay, and then stop hanging out with her/talking to her etc. This is not something that you should have to deal with and she should know that she can't get away with doing this to you.
Jubilex today out of the blue she comes to me and says she wants me to be her bestfriend again! she is such a b.it.ch! one day she ruins my life and the next day she wants me to be her friend! But i told her on her face that i will never forget what she has done! and i am not interested in being her friend! She got really angry at this she said that this is the last time we can sort things out and next time its gonna be a full catfight! and she told me to stop showing attitude! i hate her!
i will never forget how she made me feel and i will make her pay!
I was recently diagnosed with depression by my behavioral counseler. My family has a history of depression so I'm genetically predisposed already, but also I lost the majority of my vision due to a hereditary disability in 6th grade.
My therapist attributes my depression to my loss of vision, struggles with my s.exuality and my struggle with my faith. I have to agree, I think those are the main issues.
I am on medication at the moment, lexapro to be specific. Hopefully that with some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy should help me out.
I understand what it's like though, I wouldn't mind talking to somebody about how they deal with it.
PriyaA: I really believe that this girl has done you far too much harm to be graced with any kind of forgiveness. At least for quite some time (provided she actually starts being nice to you again, that is). I'm glad you've decided to stop being her friend and stay away from her.
Breece6: I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with those issues. You said you might want to talk to someone about dealing with depression, well, I'm here for that if you would like.
It's interesting how meds are very differently prescribed over there than here. Still the same class (type) of drug that we would prescribe first, but not what we would go to first. As far as the data bases say at least. That's not to say that what's written down is what's done in practice though.
CBT is probably my favourite treatment method for depression ever. Hopefully it works out for you. Combined meds and CBT generally has the best outcome overall.
Thanks! Glad to know that about CBT, I've been kinda skeptical about it, but hearing someone else recommend it makes me feel a little better.
No worries. I've never had any formal CBT though. I've read a lot about it and looked into and I'm very impressed with how it's supposed to work and agree that it can be very helpful for depressed people who are willing to work at it (it requires active participation in order to be effective). I've done something very similar and that has helped (although it didn't involve any kind of mental health professional). Also, when I was forming new coping strategies and trying to function properly despite the depression I used a lot of strategies similar or the same to those implicated in CBT. The whole idea of how the system is supposed to work really appeals to me.
Yeah, my doctor says that CBT is good as an "in the moment" solution, like when you're doing something important or stressed out and you need to calm down and focus, but he says that it doesn't really tackle the underlying problems. I suppose you don't ever really stop struggling with faith and sexuality and stuff, I'd just like to reach a point where I'm comfortable with it.
I'm going to be skipping my junior year in high school and graduating early, I think that'll help. I just feel that a college atmosphere would be better for me. Also I kind of think that getting a little freedom would make me feel better. My parents are kind of strict, which is not necessarily a bad thing, it's better than them not caring at all. It's kind of justified too, since my visual disability makes me more vulnerable to getting hurt, however I think that I'm ready to have a little freedom personally.
Thanks for being there for me to talk to!
Thanks for being here Jubilex! :) it really means alot thanks! :)
You were there when no one was..i dont think that i will ever be able to thank you for that and everything else you have done! :) <3
Breece: CBT essentially follows the idea that thoughts and actions greatly influence emotion, so once you learn to control them, the emotion side of things should level out more. Like you said, it's not aimed at fixing underlying problems, but is rather aimed at helping one deal with what they're feeling in a constructive manner, and learn how to lessen negative emotions.
I'm happy to be here as someone for you to talk to :)
Priya: No worries. Happy to help :)
The majority of people go through depression at some point in their lives. The thing is, this is a screwed up world we live in. Every good thing is going to get worse, but that just means that every bad thing is going to get better. I wouldn't call myself depressed any more, though several people still do call me depressed, suicidal, etc... I still battle self-harm, though. I really don't see this as a problem. It's a fact of life and it will stop if I will it to. No one should feel bad because they're going through this. So many people do. It'll turn out okay so long as you're open to letting it.
Based on the stats I've seen, one in five people experience depression throughout their lives. Not the majority, but still a huge amount of people. I'm not sure if these stats are estimated (i.e., they account for people who never receive treatment), or if they only count those who do accept treatment of some kind. I've also heard that an estimated 50% of people who suffer from mental illness never seek help. So maybe an educated estimate is 40%, but that's at a huge guess without knowing exactly what the first stat measures. It is a lot of people and it's still something that isn't as well understood as it should be considering how many people suffer from it in their lifetimes.
I can give a big speal on why I think self harm is incredibly damaging. Physically, it's obvious (and then there are some less obvious things like the inferiority of scar tissue to skin), but it's the mental aspects that really frighten me. I'm much healtheir and more stable now after stopping than I ever was while I was still cutting.
I do agree that people shouldn't feel bad about being depressed. Obviously it envokes bad feelings, but it's not something that people need to be ashamed of, or feel like they're weak because of it. And yes, people do need to be open to change in order to improve. It's tough, but it has to be done. No one can fix it for you, it has to be you who changes things.
Hi jublilex!! I'm not depressed, but I wanted to say I appreciate what you're doing:)
Thank you :)