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Death Has Its Heart in the Right Place


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Looking down the barrel of a gun is a strange feeling, but after staring into Death's dark face so many times, Jack had become accustomed to the tickles and prickles that run across your spine. It had become a familiar, a common, an ordinary feeling. He almost liked it, the sensation, of Death looming about, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. To him, it was intoxicating. It made his heart race, his blood pump and adrenaline run. It was like being in love for the first time, and the last. Yet every time that the Reaper swung his scythe on the mob boss, he always seemed to stop, never finishing the job. It was as though he, Death, took pleasure in seeing Jack sweat under his blade. They both enjoyed the mad thrill, but it seemed that this would be the last time they would saviour it.
Bang! The thunderous roar of the gun shattered the calm night. It was over.
'Here. You can keep it,' the assassin tossed the smoking gun onto Jack's cold lap.
A sinister smile cut the killer's face. Raising his chin proudly, as a young boy does after winning a prize, the mercenary turned around slowly, savouring his victory. Now all he had to do was collect his pay and live comfortably on some exotic island for the rest of his life, without worries, without problems, without necessities, without ' Bang! A second shot.
The assassin's knees broke under the pain. One moment he was savouring glory and the next he was savouring the bitter sweet taste of warm steel, the killer kiss of a bullet. On all fours, he lifted his trembling hand up to his chest: his shirt was soaked in blood that was spewing out on both sides of his trunk. He was cold, weak, in pain. Frozen sweat poured down his face as his insides burnt in anguish.
Writhing on the floor with no strength at all, he turned around to see who the shooter was. Behind him, sitting in the same leather-cushion seat he had been sitting when the assassin came in, Jack sat. The only difference was that now his right arm was outstretched with his fingers curled around the gun. His eyelids were heavy upon his red eyes, but he still maintained them wide open.
'No ' Impossible ' I shot you ' I shot you in the heart.'
Jack licked his lips and explained slowly, enjoying every word, 'I am dextrocardi-ac.'



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This article has 584 comments. Post your own!

Cacher08 said...
Apr. 30 at 7:31 pm:
The twist at the end was creative and awesome. Revenge stinks!
 
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swag12 said...
Apr. 20 at 11:49 am:
cheer for what
 
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Blackpuppy300 said...
Apr. 2 at 12:08 pm:
OMG ur stiry waz amazing!!!! kepp writing!!
 
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PrudenceFangThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 31 at 9:25 pm:
I loved it! The twist ending was so awesome! Completely unexpected. :) So cool. LOVED IT!!   
 
swag12 replied...
Apr. 20 at 11:45 am :
oh my ghosh
 
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Anonymous_7This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 20 at 11:46 pm:
Hey just to let you know iv written a new piece called The Land Of Nod, would you mind checking it out for me? Thanks
 
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writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 19 at 6:31 pm:
This was amazing! And i'm sorry i haven't commented on any of your work in a long time! Thanks again for commenting on my story THE BEAST. This was SOOOO good! keep writing! I really liked the ending! :)(:
 
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DestinyDefyingGravity7This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 12 at 1:26 pm:
I love the ending! At first I was wondering how Jack could have died since he had gone so long surviving so the ending was satisfying :) Very good job I hope you keep writing :)
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 14 at 7:56 am :
Thanks, your comment really means a lot to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it. All the best!
 
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Jo-Z12 said...
Feb. 6 at 2:33 pm:
what does the ending mean? like the little slash mark and the word itself?
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 14 at 7:55 am :
Dextrocardia is a condition in which the heart (-cardia) of a person is located on the right (dextro-) side of his torso rather than the conventional or usual left. The hyphen at the end is just a typo. Thanks for the read!
 
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Formanator said...
Feb. 6 at 11:21 am:
Very unique idea! Very descriptive, and flowed well. Ending was very suprising, and you deffinetly avoided the cliche!
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 14 at 7:53 am :
Thanks, I was trying to go for the shocking twist ending. Glad you enjoyed it!
 
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Ruiki said...
Jan. 28 at 8:02 am:
Thanks for the nice read :))
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 14 at 7:52 am :
Thanks for the comment! I'm happy you liked it. Cheers!
 
swag12 replied...
Apr. 20 at 11:47 am :
awsome story i loved it
 
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CelestaCuffrig said...
Jan. 19 at 1:53 pm:
Since it's so short, I was waiting for an "unexplained", supernatural kind of ending, but this just made me smile :) Wonderful job!
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 28 at 7:00 am :
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
 
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JenniferAnn2012 said...
Jan. 6 at 11:33 am:
This is a great peice! I love the description and the figurative language! Keep up the great work!!
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 11:41 am :
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
 
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alexb42621This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 3 at 4:14 pm:
this was great! The ending was so unexpected, and it makes the reader kind of laugh at themselves for assuming like super natural ressurection. We're so used to that being the case, it's weird and humbling when we don't get what we expect. Good Job!
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 10:03 am :
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! Cheers!
 
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Def_Leppard_fan120This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 27, 2011 at 10:44 pm:
Check out my article called THE BATTLE by Def_Leopard_fan120 and leave a comment on what you thought about it
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 10:02 am :
I sure will! Cheers!
 
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Hope E. said...
Dec. 27, 2011 at 3:00 am:
This was extremely well written. I LOVED the ending. It was a little comical for me, and very surprising. If this is the beginning of a novel, I would suggest further develop meant of Jack: Why is he so twisted? Has his past initiated this outlook on death? But if this is just a short story then I would leave the vague feel to it as is. It leaves the reader thinking. And that's what all great stories should do. PS- Would ya mind checking out some of my stuff? :)
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 10:01 am :
Thanks for the feedback! I would love to read some of your stuff too!
 
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TherearemanyAnnasbutIamtheORIGINALANNAThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 17, 2011 at 5:13 pm:
The introduction really catches your attention. Very very good job!:)
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:59 am :
Thanks! (Nice user-name)
 
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Ahmad-MobeenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 9:03 am:

It's really great! =)

Well, guyz, I'm new here and would really appreciate your support. Please give my story "The Enigmatic Cause" a read and rate it! Please! Sorry if this feels wrong to you. Thanks. =)

 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:58 am :
Thanks for the comment! I will be more than happy to read your story too!
 
Ahmad-MobeenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 7 at 11:11 am :
Thanks for taking the time out Andy! =) It means a lot! =)
 
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MagpyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 7:08 am:
I loved the opening, it was the first thing that grabbed my attention. I also favour your descriptions of the characters actions. it's obvious you took time to think about the realistic respones of the characters. I hope to read more of your work later on, you are an inspiration.
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:57 am :
Thanks! I really appreciate it!
 
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IT_WILL_RAINThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 5:44 pm:
i think it is mysterious because you really dont know what got jack to this point were he is face to face with death...... great story, leave it just like this!!!:)
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:56 am :
Thanks for the feedback! Cheers!
 
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peacerocks said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 10:34 am:

I NEED MORE COMMENTS PLEASE!!!!!! This story is mysterious.........................................

yes or no????????????????????????

 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:55 am :
I'm sorry, but I don't understand your comment. Thanks for checking out my story!
 
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ChristopherW said...
Nov. 17, 2011 at 8:45 pm:
A delectibly delicious story, I loved how it took me in multiple directions
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:51 am :
Thanks for the comment! Very well written!
 
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Pwincess said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 4:43 pm:
That is such a wierd opning!
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:50 am :
Definitely. Thanks for the comment!
 
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pablo45 said...
Oct. 28, 2011 at 11:32 am:
this book sounds intresting im ganna have to read it one day
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:48 am :
There's no book, but thanks for the comment!
 
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Loki17This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 27, 2011 at 2:40 pm:
Great story- nice and concise.  Just one small thing- didn't Jack still get shot through the lungs?  
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:47 am :
Thanks! As for the lungs: good point. Cheers!
 
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lonelyLaviathinThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 25, 2011 at 1:24 pm:
bravo. very intriguing
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:45 am :
Glad you enjoyed it!
 
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Zantesha said...
Oct. 24, 2011 at 5:50 pm:
really liked this !! the ending was PERFECT* :]
 
Andy B. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 6 at 9:43 am :
Thanks for the comment!
 
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TheFutureAwaitsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm:
I was captivated by your first sentence, "Looking down the barrel of a gun". Amazing!
 
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