Fog hung heavy in the early morning air, floating in on the waves as they rolled towards the beach. Technically, the â€˜beach’ was more of a rocky outcropping running straight down to the sea. It cut into the oncoming surf, which crashed and grumbled angrily against the boulders. Usually by this time the gulls were out, piercing the ocean air with their shrill cries. This morning, however, there was no other sound to mingle with the constant, low rumble of tons of water being heaved into the air to collapse back onto the jagged rock and send a salty spray out into the invading darkness. The fog threatened to block out the sun for most of the day, already hanging drearily upon the whole shoreland and dimming, blurring every image. Through the haze the rotating signal light cast a faint ray out into the deepening darkness. I should have known it would storm today. The electricity began to build in the air as hideous clouds boiled down, forcing their way into the fog until the skies melded into one, huge raging storm. I suppressed a giggle as the current in the air lifted the hair on my arms. The light tingling sensation was one of my favorite. I pulled off my windbreaker as the dark mass above me began to spit huge drops at me, angrily I thought, gleefully. This is why I loved it here, I knew, the violent, unpredictable weather, raging with a strength beyond my power to identify. I let the wind whip my hair into my face, allowed myself to be buffeted along as I made my way across the rocks. I knew now I wouldn’t have to worry about running into anyone. Everyone in their right mind was already bundled up inside with plenty of coal and fresh water -- you never knew just how long you would have to wait. That is what they did. They simply waited, allowing Nature in her fury to scare them into hiding. I laughed aloud, the faint ringing of my voice swept into the air. They’re crazy, this is wonderful, a smug voice in my mind whispered, but all the more for me to enjoy it. I spread out my arms against the wind and closed my eyes, basking in the euphoric feeling of the adrenaline, the excitement, now surging through my body like a current, tingling at my fingertips. There was wildness there, one I could almost taste, hanging tantalizingly just out of reach. I wanted so badly to be a part of it, to connect with that strength I felt stirring in the tempest around me. Something in me surged, pulling me towards the sea. I laughed, more softly this time. I could appreciate these feelings with my own dark humor. I knew who I was, what I was. Hidden inside I had that power, the force of the elements. They had sent me here, to this lonely coast, to keep them safe, to protect themselves. No matter what I did the thought haunted me, hounding me in the dark. What had I become that I no longer cared for the people, the places I once loved? My only desire now was the power I had felt, the stirring. They thought that I would be subdued here, calmed by the quiet. They were wrong.
January 14, 2009