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Standing on the bridge, looking down into the frigid, black water, Amanda looked back at the dark time that led to this solution. She immediately recalled the night that would end her old life.
It was a beautiful night; the silky black sky was sprinkled with gleaming stars. It was Friday, Amanda’s favorite day of the week. She would finally get to see her father again, after a long week of school for her and work for him.
Curled up on luxurious white leather sofa in her favorite cashmere blanket, Amanda waited. Why is he so late she had wondered. It was 6 o’clock and Amanda’s father was supposed to arrive over an hour earlier. Each minute that passed seemed like an hour, she stared at the front door anticipating them bursting open and her father standing open armed ready to see his favorite daughter again after a long week of work.
She stayed there curled on the sofa for hours longing to be in her father’s arms again. She was just starting to drift of when the front doors exploded open. She jumped to her feet her eyes snapped open abruptly, but when she looked at who was at the door it wasn’t who she expected, it wasn’t her handsome father but her old and wrinkled grandfather.
“Where’s your mother?” he demanded.
“She’s upstairs, sleeping. Do you know what time it is?” Whispered Amanda, why was he here she longed to know.
“I need to talk to her now!” he barked forcibly.
Without looking back to see if he was fallowing her, Amanda ran up the marble staircase, opened the delicate French doors and switched on the light in one swift motion.
Amanda’s mom was laying exhausted in the silk covered king sized bed. The image of her mother alone in the bed was quite foreign to Amanda the only time she had ever gone into her parents room before was on Saturday morning, when she would bring them pancakes and coffee. And every time both her mother and father where in the bed together.
“Mom, Grandpa is here to see you”, Amanda stammered, egger to see her father enter the house. As she turned to leave, “Oh and by the way dad hasn’t come home yet.”
“Thanks honey. Tell him he can come in.”
Amanda scrambled out the door and ran back down the stairs so she wouldn’t miss her father’s arrival. She could hear her mother sobbing from upstairs but she had no clue as to what it was about. Right now she didn’t really care, she was completely absorbed in planning what her and her father were going to do over the weekend.
Momentarily leaving her post at the door Amanda incher her way upstairs, never putting her back to the door. She heard her mother let out one sob, before Grandpa rushed out of the room, down the stairs and out the front door.
Amanda slowly entered her parent’s room to find out why her grandfather had come over.
“Mom, what just happened?” asked Amanda nervously, wondering if she should just leave her mother alone.
“Grandpa just came to tell me that Dad isn’t going to be coming home for a while. He is going to be staying with him and Grandma for a while because Grandma is sick again.”
Amanda didn’t know if this was to truth because her mother sounded way to calm if that is what had happened. But she knew that her mother needed to be alone.
Many slow and gloomy hours later with no call from her father, so she decided to give her father a call:
Ring. Ring. Ring.
“Hello”, an old and tired voice answered the phone.
“Hi. Feeling better?”
“What are you talking about?”A curious and suspicious voice replied.
“Aren’t you sick? That’s why dad is staying with you”, said Amanda nervously.
“No honey. Your father isn’t staying with your grandfather and I.”
Amanda hung up the phone immediately after that last word left her grandmother’s mouth. How her mother could lie to her like that, she longed to know. This was big; Amanda’s mother had never told her a lie like this before. How could Amanda ever trust her mother again, after lying to her about her grandma and father?
She wondered how she should act towards her mother now, should she act normally as if nothing had happened or should she confront her mother about what she recently found out. She decided to ask, it couldn’t get much worse than this.
The next morning at the breakfast table was normal except for the odd feeling Amanda had in the pit of her stomach.
“It’s the first day of your senior year, this is so exciting!”
Amanda didn’t know if now was the right time to ask, it seemed as good a time as any.
“Whydidyoulietomeaboutdad?” her words came out like lumps of oatmeal.
Her mom stared at Amanda blankly.
“Why did you lie to me about dad?” Amanda screeched.
“What do you mean?”
“You told me that dad was at Grandma and Grandpas house. But I called them last night, and she said that he wasn’t over there.”
“If I tell you, you have to promise you won’t be upset with me.”
Without saying a word Amanda’s wide eyes told her mother to continue.
“The other day when your grandfather came over he didn’t come to tell me that your father was staying with them”, a single tear trickled down her sweet round face, “he came to tell me that your father had died.”
Amanda didn’t know what to do. Her eyes the size of planets glared at her mom, how could my own mother life to me like this. Doesn’t she think I have a right to know if my father is dead? She stood abruptly knocking over her chair and stormed of into her room, the only place in the world where she could feel safe.
She flung herself across her lace draped bed, stared up at the ceiling and started to cry. What else was there to do? She cried for hours ignoring the knocks and gentle words of her mother at the door.
Amanda awoke watery eyed; she turned slowly on her side to gaze at her alarm clock. It read 6 in the morning. She cried herself to sleep she thought.
And know here she was, standing on the bridge looking down into the frigid, black water of what got her here.
Amanda turned around and walked across the bridge, to the next chapter of her life.