"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." ~Lemony Snicket

This is an odd, little place isn't it? I think to myself as I search the menu.

"He seems to be a dessert person." I hear a woman's voice, floating in the air above me.

A man replies, "Yes, yes. Quite."

"Would he like chocolate..."

"Or buttercream?"

"Perhaps we should ask."

Are they talking about me? Surely they are. The restaurant was empty when I arrived not three minutes ago.

Suddenly the tiny, nonsensical words fade into the page. I can only smell sugar and a wonderful flavor. It can't be chocolate or buttercream...

"What is that?" I ask in frustration, slapping the booklet onto the table.

Two figures stand before me. I look back and forth. I swear, they're the same person. Twins? They must be. Both are tall and lanky, red-haired, identical in facial features. Two pairs of grey eyes stare at me, wide in curiosity.

"Chocolate or buttercream?" The twins say simultaneously. They both present me with rather pitifully sized cakes.

Have they rehearsed this? My God, that's eery...

"Uh, no thank you. I-"

"But you must." Says the woman, glancing at her brother, appearing panicked.

"We insist."

Insist? Are these cakes poisoned? Who would want to kill me? I'm just an average man who goes about his business.

"Uh, really. I need to go to the loo..."

The man leans towards me as I begin to rise from my seat.

"You must have a bite," he says.

"They're the best in London."

"Indeed."

"Who are you?" I ask after a strained silence.

"It is not a question of who we are..."

"...but rather, a question of who you are."

Who I am? My name is Richard. I work in Human Resources. I have a wife and a daughter.

"No, not what you are..."

"...who you are.

Wait. Did they...did they just read my mind? How could they have known what I was thinking? I didn't say anything.

The woman sighs and turns to her kin.

"Oh dear, do you think we've confused him?"

"That seems likely."

"I'm just ordinary," I reply. "I'm nobody. I never take any risks at all..."

I cannot stop my compulsion. I grab a cake from the platter and finish it in one, desperate bite.

The world becomes painful.

"I told you it was chocolate..."

"Yes. It seems you were right."