The Date | Teen Ink

The Date

May 16, 2013
By BrisieBoo SILVER, Lucas, Ohio
BrisieBoo SILVER, Lucas, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)


BANG. Mayleasia froze in fear. She sunk to her knees and her vision began to go blurry. She brought her hand up to her hip and felt the blood seeping out of the bullet wound. She looked up to see the shooter walking away, calm and collected like he didn't just shoot someone. She tried to stand up, but she quickly fell back down to the ground. She knew her wound wasn't fatal, but if no one found her in time she would bleed out. Mayleasia began to think back on how this all happened.
She thought of the day he came into the school. Mark was his name. His hair was jet black and medium length. His green eyes shined bright, and glinted with the hint of a secret hidden behind them. Mayleasia did not trust this new guy, but everyone else fell head over heels in love with this guy. He changed easily between the jocks, the nerds, the stoners and every other "clique" that ran this high school. Her friends only wanted to talk about him, compare chances on who he would ask out. Mayleasia pretended to be just as excited, but she got an uneasy feeling about Mark. She even went as far as joining in to flirt with him whenever she found herself face to face with him. Her friend Margie decided Mayleasia herself had the best chances with him. She pointed out her long brown hair that hung straight down to her lower back, her bright sky blue eyes that were surrounded by long, midnight black eyelashes. Her skin was a natural tan and she never needed to wear makeup to cover flaws or imperfections. Her height, with Mark being over six feet tall Mayleasia was a perfect five feet and seven inches, not too tall and not too short. Margie also pointed out her thin frame and athletic build and decided she was the one. Boy, were they right.
About two months after Mark had moved there, he began to pursue Mayleasia. He left notes in her locker, had flowers delivered to her classes, offered to walk her home every day. Mayleasia calmly rejected his advances using the classic lines, "I'm just not emotionally available." "I can't tonight, I have plans with my family." "I just don't deserve you." Mark wasn't buying it and he would not stop pursuing. Finally, due to the pressure of her friends, she agreed to go on a date with him.
Mark arrived to pick her up, wearing a jet black tuxedo with a blood red tie. Mayleasia, at his color request, wore a blood red dress that clung to her figure and ended just above her knees. He kissed her hand and presented her with red roses. Mayleasia walked them back into the kitchen and put them in a vase with some water. She noted that no one in her house was home, remembering that her parents were working late and her brother was at football practice. Mark had a taxi ready and he held the door open for her. The night was beautiful. The stars were shining bright and there was not a cloud in sight. The black sky even seemed a little lighter than normal. Once they reached the park, it was a pleasant evening. Mark had prepared a romantic picnic for the two of them. They talked, laughed and Mayleasia pushed all uneasy thoughts out of her head. They stayed there until it was well after midnight. Mayleasia went to call a taxi, but Mark stopped her. "Its such a beautiful night. Why don't I walk you home?" He asked, holding out his hand to take hers. Something in Mayleasia's gut told her to insist on calling a taxi, but she quieted that voice and agreed. The two walked in an uncomfortable silence for a while, until they reached the end of the park. Mark lead her across the bridge that brought them to the part of the road hardly anyone used. He quickly stopped and smirked at Mayleasia. He leaned close and went to kiss her. Her instincts reacted before she could stop and she moved away from his oncoming kiss. "What was that?" he asked, an angry tone in his voice. "Mark, you're a great guy and everything, but I'm just n-n-n-not that interested in you. I'm sorry," Mayleasia stuttered out, frightened by his tone. Mark's face flashed anger but was quickly replaced by an evil looking smile. "Mayleasia, girls like you are the reason I have this problem. You flirt, you tease and you play with any heart you can get your hands on. I did my research on you. You take guys, you use them for whatever you can, and then you leave them. All your friends do. You have always seemed uneasy of me, and that's why I chose you first. I wanted to give you a chance first, to prove that you weren't the way everyone said you were. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but you failed. Now I guess I do have to get rid of you." He smiled again and before Mayleasia could react, he shot her. She felt weaker and weaker, until finally the blood drained the last bit of life out of her.
Some joggers found her body the next morning and called it in. Mayleasia's parents had sat up all night, wondering where their daughter was. They knew she had mentioned having a date that evening, but they did not know with who. When the police came to the door, they broke down. Mark was instantly questioned. He told the police he had shown up to get Mayleasia around eight. When she answered the door, she accepted the roses but dismissed him, informing him that she wasn't feeling well and would be unable to go on their date. Mark claimed knew that he was being blown off, so he went home. His elderly grandmother claimed that he had gotten home around eight-thirty and watched movies with her all night. The case hit a dead end and the police dismissed Mark as a suspect and moved on. What the police didn't know is that Mark's grandmother had short term memory loss and Mark had just told her that's what they did the night before, so that is what she believed happened.
The next couple weeks at school were somber. No one could believe Mayleasia was killed. After the hype calmed down, things went back to normal. Walking to her locker one day, Margie found notes stuck inside her locker. They were from Mark.
"I always thought you were cuter than Mayleasia. I only chose her because I was too scared to approach you. Once she blew me off, I was relieved. I could now have the confidence to let you know how I feel. How about you meet me in the park around eight tonight for a picnic?" Margie smiled and found Mark. She agreed to meet him at the park tonight. As he walked away, he smiled. He knew he now had his next victim in hand.


The author's comments:
This is something I wrote forever ago. I would love some feedback

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This article has 5 comments.


on May. 22 2013 at 6:05 pm
BrisieBoo SILVER, Lucas, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

its no problem! (:

Laur01 SILVER said...
on May. 22 2013 at 3:28 pm
Laur01 SILVER, Syracuse, New York
5 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never fail until you stop trying. -Albert Einstein

No problem. And thanks for your feedback on my article! :)

on May. 22 2013 at 3:00 pm
BrisieBoo SILVER, Lucas, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Thank you so much (: I agree, I find after I write things I tend to use the same words over and over again. I really apprectiate your opinions by the way (:

Laur01 SILVER said...
on May. 21 2013 at 9:52 pm
Laur01 SILVER, Syracuse, New York
5 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never fail until you stop trying. -Albert Einstein

In that first sentence I meant to say "really," not "reslly! Sorry!

Laur01 SILVER said...
on May. 21 2013 at 9:51 pm
Laur01 SILVER, Syracuse, New York
5 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never fail until you stop trying. -Albert Einstein

It''s reslly good. There was only one thing that I neoticed that I wouldve changed and you did it a couple times.... I would use more pronouns as a pose to repeating prases like "this guy." I loved how it ended on a cliffhanger. The character Mark was really interesting. Great job!