May 15, 2012
It’s strange to look at the mirror and hate what you see, blinded by the lies that your mind made you believe. It’s difficult to pretend that you’re fine when you’re falling apart. You walk around acting like you’re fine but inside you’re dying, hurting, suffocating, screaming from pain and no one can hear. No one can help because it’s too late.

This is something that I’ve been battling with ever since I was set free. I was trapped within the walls of my own room trapped with these demons eating away at my reality. I was going insane, losing myself and killing myself from the inside. I sat against the walls in the darkness thinking of ways to escape, the bars on the windows didn’t help they kept me inside, torturing my soul and killing me. I saw the demons rage within me, I felt their anger and I heard their screams. I saw them clawing away at my heart, drawing blood from my skin, drawing pictures down my forearms with their razor sharp claws. Looking at their sullen faces, eyes turned black, skin turned purple. Who were they? No one knew, no one could tell me, no one could help.

These demons inhabited in my heart, I saw them before but then they disappeared, they took over my body and I can’t get them out. They live in my soul, hidden underneath the skin, feeding on the pain and the suffering. I can’t let them go. How can I leave these beautiful faces behind, never see them again and kill them? I can’t, they are my lives and I can’t let them go.

This was years ago and I walk around the school pretending that I’m fine. These demons rage at the sight of another, a heart break causes a ripple of effects and in the end someone ends up hurt or dead. I can control them anymore, they control me now. I’m simply a vessel for them to live in, for them to reside it and save their race. I’m not me anymore.

Who can I trust? Who can I tell this horrid secret to? Who can I trust with this secret? Will anyone care? Can anyone save me?

Oh no, they’re taking control. I’m losing myself and I’m finally slipping into the black. Is this finally the end? Is this finally time where they take over full control? Am I losing myself? Am I going home?

I feel myself slipping, dying, going insane. Who can help me now? I sit here in an Asylum, abandoned, yet full of life. This is my home now, for the outside world has abandoned me, disowned me, called me an outcast. The paranormal walk around me as if I’m a piece of furniture. These are my friends, yet they try to kill me. One day I will join them and no one would be able to save me for I am dead.

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