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Smoke

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When I think of him, I think of sweet thoughts. His icy blue cold mysterious eyes. Those pink lips upon his pale frame, white teeth which are always hidden behind his mouth. I lay on the ground, leaves ensnared in the locks of my hair, the clouds were moving slowly above me, the branches wracked and hit against each other each time the wind howled. The sound of the wind calmed my nerves and relaxed the core of my body, my human self, my soul. Gabriel extended his golden fingers which were being kissed by the sun which peeked through the tree’s, to my face. My eyes glanced to him and I watched his face hover over mine, his brown hair gently touching the tip of my nose.

“Don’t leave me.” I whispered through a slight sigh. I already knew his answer before he could even form the words upon his tongue. He looked at me with a serene and sincere look. I could tell under his glistening eyes there was pity and pain. His hand rounded to cup my cheek.

“Evangeline. . .” he started in a deep toned voice. The hallow of his throat made his voice boom even louder but softly and it made me shutter slightly.

“If I could stay here with you, you know I would. I would spend every day attempting to make you food that wasn’t burnt,”

I giggled softly.

“I would love to take your distressed calls whenever your little beetle breaks down for the…only God knows how many times. I would love to place that golden ring around your necklace onto your finger and vow my devotion to you. You know I would give my everything to be with you and start our life together…but life is so hard to buy when you ran out of time.”

My smile dissipated to a frown and tears formed around my eyes. His face got blurry. His thumb stroked under my eyes and wiped away the fresh tears that were streaming down my cheeks. I looked up at him and then smiled lightly.

By now the sun was just barley setting, the pale light escaped through the trees and a light layer of fog began to enwrap itself around us. The air was a summer warm but still cool enough when the darkness came. The sun’s rays bounced off the fog and rippled everywhere lighting unseen places that the fog touched. The rays hadn’t yet touched either of us, so we were still consumed in dark; I sat up and looked at him, the sun shone down on the side of my cheek causing a slight ring of light form just above my head.

He smiled softly, and closed his beautiful blue eyes. I grabbed his hand gently and squeezed as tightly as I could. He whispered softly to me.

“No matter where I go, or how far it is, you’ll always have my memory here, and I’ll always have a special place in your heart.” His eyes softened, and smiled. I couldn’t help but to smile at his fake front. I knew deep inside we were both pained and didn’t want this to end. The sun set and a flash of light made him disappear in an instant. My hand dropped slightly, and I bowed my head disappointed. All I had was his memories now.

Even so, each time I came back to this place of misery and happiness I still found that my heart was misplaced. Each time I came back to this place my heart would skip a beat in tiny rhythmic imperfect drum beats. I closed my eyes and listened to the cold breeze roll in. I remember his death like it was yesterday.

It was four in the morning and one of the mares in a local pasture got out, our neighbors called us for help to try and catch her and bring her back before a bear or mountain lion got her. Of course Gabriel as kind hearted as he was got up quickly with no questions asked to do the task. I had stayed inside, robe clutched beneath my fingers till my knuckles turned white, so afraid that he would get lost in the labyrinth I called the woods. I watched out the kitchen window as the fog slithered between the trees. My toes were beginning to go numb by this time, and noon came by too fast. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned into hours, hours turned into a day.

I woke up to a knock on the door, when I answered it Marshal P. Sherwood looked up with a distained sad expression, you could tell by the bags under his eyes and how his fingers stroked the brim of his troopers hat. He explained to me that they had found Gabriel up the river from Murder Creek. He was missing one of his boots, the sheriff further explained that Gabriel had tried to cross a shallow bank but had lost his footing on the mud and fell into the cold water, the rain that night had carried him further down the bank where he had hit his head several times on the rocks. He explained that one of the rocks must of hit his head so hard that it knocked him out cold and left him unconscious and soon after drown.

I had been devastated that entire month, clutching his photo in my hands, always going to our favorite private spot in the woods. I stroked the wooden cross with the blue ribbon and got up from lying beside his memoriam. I looked at the words engraved on the custom carved wooden cross and smiled touching my heart whispering the words aloud.

“You are lost, but never forgotten.”





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