Blame Me

January 13, 2012
Prologue

That’s when I realized life wasn’t about me. The whole town was at the funeral, but, who else but I knew the real story? God, that’s it. No one else. Why should I confess my sins if he knows exactly what they are already? There’s no way I can do this alone, but I certainly don’t want his help.

He was my best friend, and I shared him with my older brother. I’m not happy with how I handled this. Or am I? Had I done it the other way, the legal, Christian-girl way, he’d be sitting with me in this pew. There’d only be one casket up there.

My brother would still be dead.

If I had anyone I wanted there to help me live past this, it’d be Bobby. It’s tragic, the only person I trust to help me is the one I need help getting over. God made this happen, so there’s now way that anything I woke up at six a.m. every Sunday to learn will help me now.

I suppose Mikey would’ve been a comfort, but he’s gone too. Mieky definitely would’ve made me feel batter, if fact, he’s easing my pain by being laid breathless in that coffin. This is his fault, too. Not just mine.

This isn’t about me. Not myself, alone, at least. It’s also about Mikey and Bobby . I was just the kid-sister who always got in the way.

My name is Macy, and I killed my brothers.





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