One night a happy couple-- so it seemed-- was having dinner. The wife, Mary, was as sweet as pie and would do anything to help anybody. Her husband, Joe, was an overrated drunk and didn’t care about anything. That same night Mary was fixing dinner for Joe, but Mary was very tired from working in the yard all day. Joe walked in smelly and stumbling all over the place. He got near the sofa and just plunked down drinking a glass of vodka. Mary knew that Joe was drunk, but she had never seen him this drunk.
“Mary, be a dear and give me a beer out of the fridge.”
“Alright now Joe, you need to leave me alone so I can cook for you.”
“Babe I was just asking! GOSH!!”
“And I was just telling so LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
Joe got mad at Mary for getting smart and so he stormed through the house knocking over tables and chairs.
“WHY ARE YOU BREAKING ALL MY STUFF, JOE??”
“YOUR STUFF! HA! I WORK AND PAY THE BILLS SO MOST OF THIS IS MINE YOU DOG!!”
“WELL SINCE MOST OF THIS IS YOURS, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE!!!”
Joe grabbed Mary and said, “NO, YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!”
They started tussling and knocking over chairs and tables and Joe knocked over Mary’s very important vase that her mother gave her when she was young.
“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME JOE??”
“SHUT UP YOU USELESS SLEEZER!!”
Joe pushed Mary on the floor and while she was down Mary saw a 2x4 under the sofa.
SLAP! Mary realized that she hit Joe with the piece of board. It seemed like Joe didn’t even feel the lick. Mary quickly dropped the 2x4 and ran in the nearest closet. BAM BAM BAM…..
“OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL BURST IT OPEN!!”
“GO AWAY JOE!!!”
As Joe kept beating on the door Mary kept screaming
“HELP ME! HELP ME!!!!”
Joe managed to bust the door open and pull Mary out of the closet.
“Joe, please stop this madness. I will do anything you want, just please don’t hurt me!”
Mary was struggling but she managed to break loose and go to the gun rack. Joe didn’t know where she was and she didn’t know where Joe was. Mary slowly opened the gun rack and pulled out a 270 rifle. Its hard, stained wood was shining, and the silver barrel was as cold as ice. Mary opened the door and sneaked her way down the hallway, when all of a sudden Joe grabbed Mary from behind and said, “What are you going to do with that gun you psycho maniac?”
Joe tried to grab the gun but Mary had a snug grip on it. Joe asked again and said, “What are you going to do with that there gun?”
“I’m going to do this!”