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My Disquiet

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I felt like I was gasping for air, like I’d been underwater too long. I even felt the dampness all over my body. Something was bothering me, I heard screaming.

It was me.

I opened my eyes.

I found myself in the school hallway, lying on the floor. Nothing seemed out of place at first. The teacher sat in her chair, monitoring the halls. There was cheerful banter that sounded far off. It must have been lunchtime. The most prominent sound though, was the screaming. My screaming. But I was numb.

Numb.

Hovering over me was a hazy view of a familiar face: wavy brown hair, two different colored eyes. I made an effort to smile back at her, but a sharp, sudden pain surged through my entire being, down to my very core, most intense in my heart. The pain, the screaming, the tears, and my own blood that she watched me choke on, all flooded into my brain. Now, her smile disgusted me. Suddenly, two small figures floated up to her, and sat on her shoulders.

Fairies?

Of course not.

They whispered in her ears. They created a humming noise that made my head spin. I think they laughed. They laughed with my friend. Her smile grew to reach both ears, and she began to morph into an ugly, devilish creature that I didn’t dare try to recognize. I lay petrified in a puddle of blood, as they watched me for entertainment.

I looked directly overhead. I saw another familiar face; one that I knew would never abandon me, or leave me to die. He looked down at me lovingly, and I was at peace. Pictures ran through my head of me giving up my body to someone who would always keep me safe; always keep me a part of himself. I smiled back at him, and all the pain, the anarchy, and the screaming,

It all stopped.

Suddenly, he locked eyes with the devil creature. She giggled. Her voice was beautifully horrifying. She floated away with the fairies, taking my peace with them.

“Death is easy. Come to me,” a voice crooned. I felt the warmth of the speaker’s breath as they whispered to me. The voice was soft, smooth and inviting. I wanted it. Why did it stop? A shiver rolled down my spine as the truth of the words sunk in. I felt the truth, and succumbed to the darkness.

My angel faded.

I was alone.





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wordjunkieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 21, 2011 at 5:18 pm
This made me shiver, it was good, but somehow it lacked something, some clarity- I don't know. Over all it's a beautiful concept, and actuelly I'm begining to think the confusioun might reflect the main characters. Good job.
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 21, 2011 at 6:04 pm
i was sort of hoping that the readers would leave a little bit confused because thats how i felt when i was writing it. it came from a dream so i was trying to get that just-woke-up type of feeling :)
 
Danealle said...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 7:46 pm
This is great! I wish you would put more detail in describing the pain though. 
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 11:26 pm
thats a good idea. if i expand on the piece ill definitely do that. for now though, the point was to focus on the issue. the physical pain was just a symbol for heartache and i figured i had gotten the point across so i moved on with the plot and stuff. thanks for your input and thank you so much for readingg :)
 
Saysh said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 1:21 pm
wow. that was disturbing and awesome! lol. i loved it! great title too!!
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 2:26 pm
hehe thank youu :)
 
.Izzy. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Very eerie. Loved the words, "beautifully horrifying" If you elaborated on this it would make  a fantastic novel. Keep writing!
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 6:09 pm
thank you so muchh! :)
 
DaughterofEvil said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Ah, so death lulled you into false security and complacency.....this would honestly be an interesting prolouge for a novel. Just saying. 5/5 again!
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 13, 2011 at 6:19 pm
ooooh youre rightt! hehe this is why i love teenink<3
 
DaughterofEvil replied...
Jul. 13, 2011 at 6:55 pm
I know! I love it too!
 
JustEmily said...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 10:26 am
Very interesting! I would love to hear you elaborate on this idea.
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 12, 2011 at 4:05 pm
i'll see what i can do :) thank youu!
 
TheGuardian This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm
How original! This is a great story and very suspensful. Keeps us guessing. And it has the perfect balance between keeping us readers connected and keeping that mysteriuos element. Great stuff =)
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:42 pm
thanks so muchh!
 
Basketball23 said...
Mar. 16, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Oooooh.....chills!!!  This is so chilling and mysterious!
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 16, 2011 at 6:16 pm
:D :D thank youu!
 
Basketball23 replied...
Mar. 16, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Haha your welcome!!!  I absolutely love this!!!!!!
 
charmiypiggy said...
Mar. 4, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Great descriptions! The flow was smooth, and the piece had an overall rather eerie feeling. Your writing style was intriguing, and the short sentences, instead of making it seem choppy, simply increases the feeling of vagueness. This is good, because in that state, your character would not be thinking all too clearly. The 'voice' in the piece sounded a little... hard? As in, not a lot of emotion, which makes it more interesting. Great job!
 
PaRaNoRmAl627 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 5, 2011 at 2:56 pm
thankyouthankyouthankyouu<33
 
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