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Emergency

“James Tyler Sanders, get out here! Now!” A voice shouted, it echoed around the big old house, built nearly six decades ago.
James grimaced, crouching underneath the old bed in the guest room. He sneezed from the dust, collected underneath the old bed. He then clapped a hand over his mouth, wincing. Suddenly, his ankles were grabbed and he was dragged out from under the bed. The seven-year old shouted in alarm, but nobody heard him.
The boy looked at his father, tears in his eyes, he tried to struggle away, but his father’s harsh grip didn’t allow that. His father slammed the back of his hand into the side of the boy’s face. “I’ll teach you not to ignore your father when he calls for you!” He shouted.
James gasped, tears flooding his eyes. He managed to yank his arm away from his father and saw blood welling from claw marks where his father's nails had been digging into his arm. He turned and ran away from his father, fear bright in his panicked, brown eyes. He slid down the banister and landed at the bottom of the stairs. He heard his father thundering down the stairs behind him. He ran to the front door and fumbled with the lock but his father was right behind him. He ran to the kitchen, where the nearest phone was. He heard his father getting closer, screaming profanities. He looked around for the small, grey cordless phone that normally lay on the kitchen counter. He grabbed it and started to dial, 9...1...1... He went to press send when his father yanked the phone from his hands and threw it away from them, it bounced off the cabinet.
James reached out and grabbed the first thing he touched, a roll of tape. He threw it at his father’s face and grabbed something else and threw it at his father’s face without even registering what it was, fear and adrenaline running his mind.
James blinked, suddenly, all he saw was red. His father stumbled a few steps towards James, his hands reached out as if he were Frankenstein. He managed to clasp his large hands around James’ neck and looked him into the eyes. “You useless excuse of a-” His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell forward, crushing James against the ceramic tile floor of the kitchen.
James lay there trembling and all he could hear was the phone buzzing, the 911 operator screaming, “Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?!”



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This article has 76 comments. Post your own now!

itsgoindown said...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 8:45 pm
this is fantastic (:
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 9:42 pm
thank you (:
 
tellitlikeitis said...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Don't listen to DearReader! He/she is a butt face, it was awesome! write more!
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 7:45 pm
thank you for the compliment but please don't call people names =/ she was just giving her opinion.
 
Rhymeweaver said...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Certainly is a thriller :). You can actually feel what the kid is feeling, think what he's thinking. Keep it up!
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 7:45 pm
thanks haha thats definitely what I was going for.
 
i never change said...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 6:53 pm
it's good though. portrays the reality of child abuse and stuff pretty well. cx
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 7:14 pm
yeahh, i got this inspiration from a newspaper story I read a while back about child abuse.
 
DearReader said...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 6:23 pm
You shouldn't start all your sentences with "he". Maybe change it up occassionally and write, "As he typed, his father tore the phone away." Other then that, I liked it other than the fact it is sad. Child abuse is horrible! Maybe describe a bit more too?
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 6:26 pm
thank you for your feedback, really. Its much appreciated (: I'll edit it, and work on it a bit more.
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Also, child abuse is horrible, but that doesn't mean theres a taboo on writing about it.
 
DearReader replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Never said it was bad to write about it. Just giving my opinion on child abuse. No need to critize me for trying to help you out. Writers really should be open minded.
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I said thank you and that I appreciate your judgement... how is that not openminded? I'm just saying, sometimes the best stuff written is about horrible things. Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, all wrote about death and tragedy.
 
DearReader replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 7:40 pm
I know that and I agree. I was just trying to say I am not saying you shouldn't write about child abuse, I'm sorry if you thought I was being mean. Or whatever. You seemed offended when I gave you hints so I said to be openminded. Plus, another poster called me a butt head so they obviously thought I was trying to be mean. I thought you took it the same way as them. Sorry if I got the wrong vibe. Now that was a block of text and I am rambling. Once again, good story. Sorry. And keep up the good work!
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 7:46 pm
thank you and its okay, no hard feelings. It was all just a misunderstanding.
 
II TaylorLove II said...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 6:13 pm
This is wonderful! Really great, you should totally write more : )
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 6:22 pm
thank you so much :D
 
Syd'sKnee said...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 5:38 pm
This is am.amazing. You should really post more. It could be a real hit.<3 (:
 
softballstar97 replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 5:48 pm
wow. this is crazy.
 
awritersesteem replied...
Feb. 10, 2011 at 5:52 pm
thanks (: and yeah it is kinda crazy O.o
 
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